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Original poster

Don't like my MW. What would you do?

24 replies

Nymphadora · 19/04/2010 13:20

Would like to change my MW. There is only one covering my town.
I haven't looked in to the options but I think it will be either travel to a different town or have consultant care. Or put up with her.

So far she has made a lot of assumptions about me,majority incorrect. She is very difficult to get info out of and I seem to have a maximum of 1 question per meeting/phone call. I am supposedly high risk and some of my queries have related to these issues but she just closes the meeting/conversation. Dh came with me last week & felt she was v patronising.

What would you do?

OP posts:
glasgowlass · 19/04/2010 13:23

It is important you can trust your MW. If I were in your position I would contact the supervisor of midwives and explain your concerns. Even if your MW is a SOM, there are usually a few for each area so take your concerns to them. He/she may be able to offer you alternative MW care.

Best of luck.

Original poster
Nymphadora · 19/04/2010 13:25

SOM?
Thanks

OP posts:
glasgowlass · 19/04/2010 13:26

SOM = Supervisor of Midwives.

You can get the phone number from the maternity unit, you dont need to explain to them why you want it.

Original poster
Nymphadora · 19/04/2010 13:34

Thanks. Do you know anything about consultant only care?

OP posts:
glasgowlass · 19/04/2010 13:38

Sorry I dont, Im sure someone will come along soon who does though or perhaps have a trawl through the archives. I had MW led care with my DS.

Perhaps you can ask for a meeting with SOM to ask about your options and consultant led care, just to see if this would be more beneficial to you?

You do not have to put up with this MW though so dont feel pressurised into doing so.

FabIsGoingToGetFit · 19/04/2010 13:40

I had one midwife refuse to take me so another surgery gave me their head midwife. If we hadn't already changed surgeries I would have refused the midwife I had with dc2.

ImSoNotTelling · 19/04/2010 13:43

I changed my midwife for my second baby as she was teh one I'd had with my first and we didn't get on. She had no problem with me changing - it is part of their job to uderstand that it's a sensitive time for the woman and not to take it personally if she doens't feel comfortable and wants someone else. They're not even supposed to ask why you want a change.

Re consultant led care - well I had it for my second baby as I was high risk and it meant that in addition to my community midwife appts I had a load at the hospital as well. They did say that if i wanted I could have all my appts at the hosp.

Having said all that, how things are done changes a lot between trusts so what applied to me may be irrelevant to you.

I agree that you should get hold of a number and talk to someone like glasgowlass says. Don't feel bad about doing that.

Original poster
Nymphadora · 19/04/2010 13:44

What didn't you like Fab?

OP posts:
Original poster
Nymphadora · 19/04/2010 13:46

Imsonottelling - I think that's what my consultant meant. Either all with hospital or some with him some with MW. He was rushing through questions so didn't get much chance to think.

OP posts:
ImSoNotTelling · 19/04/2010 13:53

If there is only the one community midwife then the only option will be to have all your appts at the hosp and so if you can get to the hosp then that looks like your best bet. they won't all be with the consultant though - they will normally be with the midwife on hosp duty that day, or with more junior docs. consultant dones't normally rock in except on special occasions

Original poster
Nymphadora · 19/04/2010 13:57

In not bothered about having the same person as I'm going to be having a section so not expecting MW continuity.

Just realised that MW said this am about doing the next towns clinic so she must cover both

OP posts:
ImSoNotTelling · 19/04/2010 14:07

If you really don't like her then change.

No point having your pg ruined by dreading appts with someone you don't like, feeling that you can't ask questions etc etc

Original poster
Nymphadora · 19/04/2010 14:10

It's the getting narky before appts I can't deal with in anticipation of being diappointed

Dh can't come everytime to calm me down either

OP posts:
SecretSlattern · 19/04/2010 14:13

I don't think I've ever seen the same midwife more than once in any of my pregnancies. Didn't know you could just end up with one

Original poster
Nymphadora · 19/04/2010 14:14

Small town, high proportion of elderly. MW not in high demand

OP posts:
ImSoNotTelling · 19/04/2010 14:21

Some places they have continuity of care where you are supposed to see the same midwife all the way through which is a great idea if you like your midwife

FabIsGoingToGetFit · 19/04/2010 14:23

I wouldn't have wanted the midwife I had with dc2 again because she didn't listen when I told her my dd was having problems.

Original poster
Nymphadora · 19/04/2010 14:25

Did she know best fab?

Another question ! What happens regarding after birth visits? Do MW still do up to 10 days?

OP posts:
SecretSlattern · 19/04/2010 14:27

Oh I see! We certainly don't get that round here! Different MWs every time you go to ANC and I always seem to time labour so that I have 2/3 MWs. The first one I get never ever delivers any of my babies! Mind you the last one I had last time didn't deliver him either, she fell asleep on the end of my bed instead...

FabIsGoingToGetFit · 19/04/2010 14:33

No, she most definitely did not know best. She had no idea what I was telling her and offered no support or help.

Yes, you get midwife visits but when all depends. With dc3 no one came for a couple of days.

Casmama · 19/04/2010 14:36

Would it help to go in with a list of questions written down and visible to her and say " I have a few things that I want to discuss with you and am a bit concerned as I feel I haven't had the opportunity to raise them earlier"

If you just don't like her then of course see what you can do to change but I just wonder if being a little more assertive with her may improve your experience with her.

Original poster
Nymphadora · 19/04/2010 14:45

I have phoned hospital & asked about changing. They weren't too impresssed & kept saying 'but she is usually very thorough' . I am now going to be seen at the hospital ( 12 miles rather than round the corner) and had to change consultants but at least if someone there is crap I should only see them once!

Thanks everyone for the support. Keep crying now (for a change)

OP posts:
Casmama · 19/04/2010 14:47

Good for you, well done for taking action and I hope that your antenatal care is now a more pleasant experience for you. Good luck with the baby.

ImSoNotTelling · 19/04/2010 19:05

Well done.

They are not supposed to quiz you like that, it was wrong of them to do so.

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