Pregnant with No. 4 and very worried

[Mornington]

I found out last week that I'm pregnant with my fourth child. It's unplanned. Although I was quite keen to have another one, my husband was not. At the risk of sounding incredibly stupid, I'm not sure whose fault this pregnancy is but I'm feeling very upset at my husband's lack of enthusiasm.

I understand it's a surprise but I was never dishonest about contraception, we were just irresponsible. Having said that, while terribly apprehensive, I am also excited about the baby and very hurt at my husband's lack lustre approach.

I know we both sound very stupid - so please don't tell me what I already know! Has anyone had a similar experience?

Well, if he's like my dp, he's thinking about money, lack of sex, lack of sleep, costs of housing, school uniforms etc for the next 20 years. On the other hand as soon as he lays eyes on the little mite, he'll be fine.

And it's both your fault so don't feel guilty. It takes two!

Perhaps you should suggest he has the snip or that you have a coil once you've had little one. That'll reassure him you're not planning a football team (assuming you're not)

And congratulations. A Christmas baby. How lovely.

Yo are very sweet Kathyjelly - thank you. And no, I'm not planning a football team so we might just be grown-up enough to organise soem contraception in 8 months time!