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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Partners staying on postnatal ward

60 replies

LooL00 · 13/04/2010 15:18

I have just been reading about the refurbishment of my local hospital maternity services and was stunned to read that partners may now spend the night on the postnatal ward. I think that 6 women and 6 babies in a small ward is plenty, and to add 6 new dads is just too much. And I'd like a bit of privacy too. I'm not looking forward to spending a night on this ward. Has anyone got any experience of this working well?

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AngryWasp · 13/04/2010 15:21

It depends how the ward is layed out I suppose. If there are private sections/rooms plus a male bathroom then it sounds okay, - better than okay.

Lulumaam · 13/04/2010 15:24

if it is simply a ward, rather than private rooms, i thikn it is a v v bad idea for a myriad of reasons.

are you sure it is a ward? with curtains round the bed rather than private rooms and bathrooms?

Jacksmybaby · 13/04/2010 15:25

No but having had the opposite experience i.e. DH being sent home leaving me too helpless post-CS to even pick up DS, and in a ward where midwives were too few and too busy to respond to basic care of the new mums and babes, I personally think it's a very, very sensible idea indeed.

Original poster

LooL00 · 13/04/2010 15:32

What it says is 'All ward bays and private rooms on the ward are equipped with reclining chairs. We regret that we cannot provide washing/showering facilities or refreshments, and apologise for any inconvenience this may cause. '

That doesn't sound like private rooms with ensuites to me.

OP posts:

nunnie · 13/04/2010 15:33

I agree with Jacksmybaby on this one, while we all like a bit of privacy, to be honest after I was left unable to move for 6 hours after having my dd, I came straight out of theatre (manual removal of placenta), straight down to ward, with dh behind me holding dd, he was then told to leave within 5 minutes of arriving on the ward as it was 6am, he wasn't allowed to return till 12pm, and I was helpless, I was buzzing for an hour as there was blood in my IV drip, and my dd was crying and I was unable to reach her cos they put the cot to far away. The only part of this pregnancy I am dreading is spending anytime on an understaffed ward and in the same situation as last time, it was awful and dh being there would ahve been a godsend to be honest.

I never got to hold me dd, from the time I was taken to theatre at 4am till 8am, when someone finally answered my buzzer!

Haliborange · 13/04/2010 15:33

I've seen it in a birthing centre where each woman has her own room with en suite. That's fine, but on an open ward it is a terrible idea. Not enough bathrooms, additional noise, strange men around when you are feeling vulnerable enough...

witchwithallthetrimmings · 13/04/2010 15:34

echo jacksny. If dp had been able to stay with me then i would not have had to hold a hand dripping with meconium (sp?) poo for half an hour while we waited for someone to answer the bell. Dp could have helped me have a shower, go to the loo after my section rather than having an unknown nurse do it. Having fathers on the wards would give people more privacy and not less

EldonAve · 13/04/2010 15:35

Is it St Richard's?

Original poster

LooL00 · 13/04/2010 15:36

Yes in Chichester

OP posts:

hazeyjane · 13/04/2010 15:43

I would have loved my dh to have been able to stay, I was put on the ward in the middle of the night, paralysed from a spinal, unable to get dd1 from her crib, buzzer not working, and didn't see a MW until one appeared to have a go at me because dd was crying (she put her in bed with me), then another MW appeared to tell me off for having dd in bed with me. I didn't get to sleep or have a shower until dh arrived for visiting hours in the morning.

I was in hospital in London for about 3 weeks, on a mixed ward (not maternity), women and men in seperate, open bays, but with shared facilities in the middle, it didn't seem to be a problem.

Jacksmybaby · 13/04/2010 15:47

I feel really strongly about this - it still makes me well up / shake with anger just thinking about how terrifying, humiliating and undignified my whole experience on the PN ward was - and how unbelievably different it could have been if DH had been able to stay, both for emotional and practical support.

That would have FAR outweighed any inconvenience caused by other mums' DPs being there too, IMO.

nunnie · 13/04/2010 15:48

I think as I said earlier it is a very good idea f it is your first and you don't know what to expect, and if you've had a traumatic birth, or a spinal etc, that leaves you unable to move making caring for your baby rather difficult, especially when you are in a ward where staff are very few and far between.

If it is your second, third etc and all was plain sailing you are likely to only be in for a few hours, then I don't think partners need to stay in those circumstances, but they can't discriminate I suppose.

Mixed ward here are very common, and I was put in a side room of a male ward when I was in for non pregnancy related issues, I had to share their bathroom, never bothered me tbh.

witchwithallthetrimmings · 13/04/2010 15:51

I think it does look weird if you think that you are going to spend a night in a room with loads of strange men, but tbh there is not a lot of sleeping going on

traceybath · 13/04/2010 15:51

Fine if its private rooms - absolutely not fine if just a curtain round you.

I've had 3 c-sections so know how difficult it is coping after one with a baby on a ward with few midwifes. But not everyones DHs are lovely and I wouldn't have wanted some of them staying overnight to be honest in the same ward as me with just a curtain protecting/shielding me from them.

witchwithallthetrimmings · 13/04/2010 15:53

What do you imagine that they can do at night that they can't do during the day though?

nunnie · 13/04/2010 15:54

I know what you mean Jacks and I agree entirely. Only one problem I see is if partners stay will they cut back on midwifes, can't afford to do that here, they have far to little on a shift as it is.

At 8am in the morning, they parked a trolley outside the ward with tea and coffee on, and it is self service for breakfast, so they just said breakfast time ladies. Non of us could move and they left us! My midwife came to congratulate me n hour later and asked if I had eaten, I told her non of us had cos we couldn't get to the trolley or kitchen. She wasn't happy, and a lady appeared 10mins later with a trolley full of breakfasts and teas for us all. DH's could have done all that if they had been allowed to stay on the wards!

EldonAve · 13/04/2010 15:55

info here
do you think four ward bays means 4 beds in a ward?

Personally I would prefer to stay on a ward without other people's partners

The cynic in me thinks they like this so they can get away with less staff overnight

LadyBiscuit · 13/04/2010 16:00

I would hate it if it partners were allowed to stay overnight. No peace for a start. There was a big thread on this a while ago. Patients are ill, in bed and traceable (one person per bed). Random men coming in and out who are fit and healthy and being around while women have their dressings changed, catheters removed and come to terms with breastfeeding, post partum constipation and all manner of other gynae related problems is not my idea of a relaxing hospital stay. It was bad enough as it was having people whose partners refused to leave when visiting hours were over

StrictlyKatty · 13/04/2010 16:02

I would absolutely hate it if husbands stayed too. I do not want to sleep in a room with couples chatting all night!

I would refuse to stay on a maternity ward that did this tbh.

wubblybubbly · 13/04/2010 16:09

Not sure why people would be chatting all night, surely both Mum and Dad would be totally knackered? Well, Mum will be anyway.

Besides any chattering would soon be stopped by the nurses, even without a partner you're not allowed to disturb the other patients, can't imagine that rule would be waived.

Original poster

LooL00 · 13/04/2010 16:11

Eldonave that's what I was reading. I don't fancy the situation when there is never a time without visitors and so no time to talk about stitches, breasts, constipation etc with the mw without there being a man on the other side of the curtain.

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madwomanintheattic · 13/04/2010 16:12

dh stayed with me for a few days but dd2 was in scbu so we were spending most of the time there - it was open access day and night. he then went home to look after the others so i stayed on my own.

not been on a ward where it was routine though. i thought average hospital stays were dropping anyway?

EldonAve · 13/04/2010 16:15

I found other people's visitors enough of an imposition during the day tbh - esp as the staff kept insisting on everyone having the curtains open

southeastastra · 13/04/2010 16:17

omg no way! bad idea.

if you want that pay for it!

hazeyjane · 13/04/2010 16:18

I don't see why the partners couldn't have a tag like the babies do, so that 'random men' can't wander in and out. I had stitches checked and bfeeding 'help' during the day, when visitors were wandering around, I don't think I had any checks at night.

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