Partners staying on postnatal ward

[LooL00]

I have just been reading about the refurbishment of my local hospital maternity services and was stunned to read that partners may now spend the night on the postnatal ward. I think that 6 women and 6 babies in a small ward is plenty, and to add 6 new dads is just too much. And I'd like a bit of privacy too. I'm not looking forward to spending a night on this ward. Has anyone got any experience of this working well?

Someone posted on the other thread abou this about how someone's DH snarled at her to "shut the fk up" when she was on a AN ward in early labour. She said she went into the corridor and cried. That really stuck with me. Imagine not feeling safe in that context, I know I wouldn't have. The point is that whilst everyone's DH may be lovely and kind and quiet, not everyone's is. I appreciate nunnie that you had a pants PN experience; that really shouldn't happen.

But allowing other people's DHs to stay overnight when women may be feeling especially vulnerable could make your ideal PN experience into their nightmare one.

ere they do have mixed bays, my nan was on one after having cancer treatment. If gynae wards are full, you are sent to an overflow ward till a bed becomes available this is a mixed bay ward.

But has anyone got any experience of this working well? Please reassure me that the whole situation will be well managed. Postnatal care at this hospital is generally ok .This is flagged as a positive step in the hospital info.I'm just very concerned that it might not be a positive experience for me.

i was stuck in hospital for about 3 weeks before ds was born. to be honest the quietness once all the visitors was gone was bliss. we saw all sorts of bad behaviour from men. though lots of nice stuff too. even felt like we were being gawped at when couples were looking around the ward.

Labour pledged to end mixed-sex accommodation in both its 1997 and 2001 manifestos. so they are not seen as a good thing

Does anyone know of any other hospitals that allow partners to stay on PN wards?

although i don't think its ideal, the partners are around during the day when you are walking around anyway and as others have pointed out if you have had a difficult labour you need your partner there to look after you.

surely the best option would be to given women the choice - do they want to stay on a ward with partners or not?

my DD was born at 1pm and TBH both me and DH were really happy for him to go home at 9pm and get some sleep (neither of us had slept the night before). i had a normal delivery and it meant when he came back the next morning to take me home he wasn't tired to he could look after DD whilst i slept.

Speak to them, I would like to think in an ideal world, they will only put the women who are happy to have partners together. IYKWIM. I would like to think they will leave certain ward male free in the night. I am not selfish I promise, and I would not like my DH to be around in the night if other people on the ward don't want him there, I would only want him there for my personal use, in saying that he himself has told me he wouldn't stay as he would feel out of place and like he is intruding so some men don't want to stay to be honest, will have to just grin and bare it and hope I give birth in the week might be more staff then and I may well be thoroughly suprised and get wonderful care

Eldon I can't find any near me (Lancashire).

Wow. I thought I had a bad time with unpleasant midwives on postnatal wards (and a cleaner who entered my curtained space uninvited to tidy up as the MW was checking my stitches), but my heart really goes out to some of the posters here.

On the topic of men on postnatal wards- my cousin in America had a private room with a queen sized bed in which she and her husband slept after giving birth. Then again, this was in America. They paid for it. She must have paid for an epidural ASAP too as in the photos taken shortly after the birth she looks fantastic, with her hair still in place and make-up intact.

I think that having men stay on PN ward is a terrible idea. In fact not just men, but anyone staying overnight. While most of us have nice pleasant considerate visitors while in hospital, there are always others who don't and will spoil the whole experience for the rest of us.

TBH we are all right to be demanding better post natal care, but by allowing overnight visitors you are in fact creating more work for midwives as they will have to be policing it. They will be telling people to keep quiet, dealing with over paranoid partners who keep hassling them meaning there is even less care for those of us who tend to keep quiet about things or are too nervous to ask for help.

Also, people are very naive to think the partner will just sit in reclining chair and go to sleep. I have seen people during visiting hours closing the curtains and get into the bed with their partners etc... and that's during the day, I wouldn't want to be next to that all night too.

Finally, in a bay with 4 bed and 4 babies, there simply isn't enough room for 4 other people, unless they make the rooms bigger, there just won't be room for them. I was in in PN ward 2 weeks ago and nobody even sat in the chair I had, because it was blocked in by the cot and nappies/bags etc... So can't see how it would be practical.