WHY is such a big deal made if you use drugs in labour?

[hamster]

I'm a little curious as to why so many women think that because you have pethidine/epidural/any other drug, you are a bit of a wimp.

I had an epidural during my last labour, and continuously people have felt the urge to comment. Things such as "Oh I did it with just gas and air", or "A friend of mine went through labour with absolutely nothing"

I do appologise if I do sound petty, but it really puts a dent into your confidence
My sister has just been through labour, a couple of days ago, and I know that this will be one of the main topics of conversation next time I see the family, as such a big deal was made of it before the birth.

At the end of the day, I would have thought that as long as you have a healthy baby at the end of it, what does it matter?

[Micku5]

Hi just wanted to add my experience to this thread. I decided that I wasn't going to have any drugs if i could help it but if I needed it then it would start with gas and air and work my way up.

After several hours of labour I asked for gas and air and was promptly sick. This was then followed by pethadine which slowed everything down and prolonged the labour.

In the end my mum couldn't bear seeing me in so much pain that she asked the mw to give me an epidural. I resisted but after being in labour for 20 hours plus I gave in and had an epidural.

To cut a long story short... after 26 hours labour and a failed ventouse because the baby was stuck I had to be rushed in for an emergency c-section... they had to do two cuts, one along the length of my stomach to get dd out.

It was traumatic but at the end of the day the hospital staff did their job and my baby was born a healthy 8lbs 9ozs and that is more then anyone can ask for.

With the next baby, I am having an elective c-section at 36 weeks... bring on the drugs.

[spidermama]

I've had four babies, all at home, all with no drugs. I like to feel everything that's going on. It's pain with a purpose. I can honestly say I'd be frightened and disorientated if my feelings were numbed at such a crucial time.

I don't judge anyone else's choices but here's the thing ...

I never tell anyone in RL about my births, unless they ask. Past experience has told me that people feel angry with me, assume I'm smug, or assume I'm judging them. I gave up telling my birth stories to anyone but my mum and sister because of the frosty reaction they got.

I'd love to meet some more women who made the choices I did because I'd love to swap birth stories without fear of prejudice.

[hunkermunker]

I have no idea how anyone manages to give birth on land without pain relief - I am sure I only managed because I was in the water. Had I been denied the water, I'd no doubt have emptied the pharmacy and worried about my blood pressure later

As for life wpent without a whiff of gas and air - now that did make me heave. I decided to do without vomiting during labour - don't think my life is any less rich for that

of those of you who have such wonderful experiences on it though!

[hunkermunker]

I think that's sad, SM - I've met the same reaction, as I've said elsewhere on this thread

[dinny]

I just couldn't be in water Hunker - I just like standing up. Really weird as both times thought I would LOOOOVE it (and prob will think same if have any more!)

[moondog]

No prejudice here spidermama. Just sheer amazement.......


Wow!!!!

[expatinscotland]

If folks can have them w/no drugs, great! But when a woman is literally passing out in pain - mine was particularly severe b/c of my baby's position, with her hand clamped above her ear. If felt like something was trying to rip my bowel out - well, what's the point in that when there's pain relief out there?

FFS, everyone's different, everyone's case is different.

There's room for all of us.

[hunkermunker]

Exactly, EPIS! Pain relief is there to provide relief from pain for those who need it. If you need it, fine, but if you don't, fine too! Equal, in my view - neither way is wrong or lesser!

[happymerryberries]

And as others have said all wome/babies/labours are different!

A mate of mine did her first with no pain relief at all, not even g & A. She had her second at home with G & A and said after that if she had know it was going to be so painful she would have had it in hospital and demanded every drug under the sun!

Different but all equally valid.

[charleepeters]

i was always intending to have an epidural through my whole pg - i dont care if i get the classic 'oh i did it with nothig' comments, i enjoyed my labour as i was pain free and relaxed enough to see my baby born.

[RedZuleika]

MotherInferior: "I think calling relief from intense pain 'convenience' is, perhaps, a little unwarranted."
I don't think I did say that - I think you're extrapolating. I didn't say anything about people needing immediate relief from intense pain, I was thinking more of people planning their drug menu in advance.

Also - the research I've read didn't relate specifically to epidurals, but I'm always open to fresh information.

I think I'm probably with SpiderMama: "I can honestly say I'd be frightened and disorientated if my feelings were numbed at such a crucial time. " Particulary having had some 'recreational' experience with opiates. With the most painful of my miscarriages (on account of being the one furthest along), I didn't take so much as a paracetamol for a very long time - because I needed to know how badly my body was malfunctioning. Drugs may make many things go with a 'zip', but I'm not sure it's a situation where I would appreciate such zippiness.

[champs]

don't kno why such a big deal is made of drugs or no drugs during labour. I think that it should be up to the indivitual(sp)

hunkermunker -- how did you find the water? did it help take the pain away at all? or did it relax you?

[spidermama]

For me there's a lot to be said for being able to move around in labour. I had long and hard labours with numbers 2 & 4 which would have been so much worse, I reckon, had I not been able to move around freely, FEEL what was happening inside and react accordingly.

[hunkermunker]

Champs - have replied on the thread you started

[berolina]

Started out without pain relief. After 2 days (!) of low-level contractions which kept stopping I was tired, and when they suddenly came on very strongly it was hard to cope. I'd assumed I couldn't have an epidural because of my scoliotic spine, but the mw suggested trying and it worked. It was absolutely fantastic and within little more than an hour I went from 3 (which I'd been stuck at for hours) to 10cm, because (said the mw) it helped me relax so well. What was slightly disconcerting was the loss of the sensation of 'working' which the contractions had given me. Things stopped again after that and I ended up on a syntocin drip and having my waters broken, and ds was born by ventouse, but I'm not sure either of these things had to do with the epidural - I'm very small, ds was a small baby with a normal-sized head. I'd have an epidural again without hesitation and am very grateful for the one I had - my ideal would be no pain relief, but I'm not ideological about it. It didn't lessen my sense of achievement, and neither did the ventouse - a birth is a birth, always a grweat achievement for mum and baby however it happens

[pinotgrigio]

Totally agree. When I arrived at the hospital they took one look at me and said "Epidural?". Yes, I said. 10 minutes later I was reading a paper and eating a sandwich. Magic. Especially because it was a 32 hour labour.

I don't care if people think I should have suffered more. I had a fab time and quite frankly would have an epidural at the first sign of a Braxton Hicks next time.

[sansouci]

Haven't read thru thread but i totally agree with you, hamster. My sister gave birth squatting on her yoga mat while I was induced, then given an epidural (oh, relief!). Why suffer needlessly?

[sansouci]

We're all different but the important thing is to have a healthy mum & baby at the end. It's not a competition, there are no prizes or medals.

[bubbles2904]

omg, what a debate you've started here hamster LOL. i had pethedine with my dd after about 3 hours of pure agony and i just couldn't cope anymore. my sisters both had cs's(one emergency) and for some reason i was convinced i would end up with one too, the thought of that scared me a hell of a lot more than having drugs. i feel no less of a mother for doing it and no regrets, i have a healthy happy 6 yr old dd. i don't judge people that choose differently, but i have one friend that has had 2 children both with just g&a and insists on telling me that i am wrong for having drugs because it's bad and does this and that and that it ruins the whole experience, i just asked how she knew which way was best as she'd only done one way and she couldn't answer. it really is each to their own. i get a lot of judgement because i'm not going to breastfeed, a lady in my local pub is always having a go at me (not that i'm in there much) she sits there chain-smoking with a glass of wine in her hand whilst judging me on the importance of giving your child the best start in life, at this point her 3 yr old is running around wild looking like a tramp!!!!! these issues are options for each individual and they shouldn't be judged just for making a different choice than you.

[GillLevey]

My sister had extremely quick labours (3 hours and 1 and 1/2 hours) and never had any pain relief. She made me feel inadequate for having gas and air. I really wanted more pain relief but there wasn't time as my labour was quick too (5 hours). I was one of those people who wanted to do it without drugs but when I realised just how much it hurt I was even considering an epidural (and I hate needles). I was being monitored so I could have some pethidine but befor the 20 minutes was up I was pushing. Next time I'll be asking for drugs as soon as I get to hospital!

I don't know why people have to make you feel bad for having drugs as it's one of the most painful experiences you'll ever have to go through and, as my midwife said, there are no medals for doing it without drugs. Why suffer when you don't have to?

[hamster]

Bubbles-omg, last time I looked there was about 40 msgs! I have started something haven't I?!

Well, it seems that there are plenty of level headed, fair people on here-it's just a shame I can't run into more people like it in RL.

I think that if you can do it without pain-relief then great, and if you want pain relief then fair enough also. I just get wound up by competitive Mums, that's all. There's no need for it, parenting is hard enough work without feeling like you have something to prove.

Anyway, I'm feeling a little less agitated today LOL, It's good to see so many points of view

[Windermere]

I ended up having an elective c-section because ds was breech. When I was about 6 months pregnant my boss's wife had a natural labour. My boss said to me "I think it is so important for a woman to have a natural labour, too many people ask for drugs at the first sign of pain and they really miss out." Can you believe that a MALE would say that to a pregnant woman. I nearly decked him!