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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Funny things Children say about pregnancy?

103 replies

moominmarvellous · 06/03/2010 11:47

My DD is really making me laugh about this second baby, she's got it all figured out in her own little way!

So far she has said that the baby in my tummy has the same name as her, and that she has a tiny baby in her tummy too which has the same name as me.....

I asked if she'd help me take care of the little baby and she said yes, but not if it leaves poo on her arm, because that will stink! (no rose tinted specs here!)

Also while getting dressed this morning she said 'Ooh Mummy I LOVE your new boobies! They're just so big and.....wobbly!' whilst she did a little wobble!

She cracks me up!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

pamelat · 15/03/2010 20:35

this is so funny

DD is 25 months and I am 32 weeks pregnant with a "baby brother", am told most days that "he not your baby, HE IS MY BABY BROTHER".

Also she insists she has a baby in her tummy too.

Amusingly she told me the other day "you can't come swimming mummy, you too big, you have baby brother in your tummy"

and more worryingly "he not got legs yet"!!?!

pamelat · 15/03/2010 20:37

and she is also obsessed by my boobs which are bigger than usual but are still tiny really.

they notice the smallest changes!!

she has also started saying "no my cant do it, too tired, baby brother in tummy" .....

Cosmosis · 15/03/2010 21:34

niece (aged 11) feels very sorry for DH and I because we have had to have sex. Upon hearing we were having a baby, she said to SIL "you were lucky mummy, you only had to have sex twice" (once for her, once for nephew). SIL said they had had sex more than that, and niece replied "why mummy, did the egg fall out into your knickers the other times". Upon being then told that sometimes you have sex just because you like it, she pronounced " you are disgusting mummy, I'm going to bed".

BoffinMum · 15/03/2010 21:44

My seven year old DS2 was very helpful in briefing me in how to give birth to his younger brother. "Now mummy, what you have to do is to push very hard out of your bottom like you're doing a ginormous poo and then he will come out just fine".

How does he know this stuff????

specialmagiclady · 15/03/2010 23:04

I do know someone who told her daughter about how babies get into mummies' tummies. The daughter looked at her and said "No!" then "Do it now!"

Didn't believe her I think.

giggly · 15/03/2010 23:20

This is great well done op. When I was pregnant with dd#2 last year dd#1 then 4 told everyone that mummy was having a baby boy called Harry Potter

She also tells everyone about daddy giving mummy an egg that grew into Harry Potter and when she/he was ready to come out I went to hospital, laid on a bed and said ouch.
Oh if only.

piprabbit · 15/03/2010 23:23

We got a book for DD (then aged 4) to explain where babies come from.

She spent several weeks wondering around saying 'Fajina' in a strangely deep and insistent tone (think aged butler saying 'you rang M'lady') for no apparent reason.

MaMight · 16/03/2010 03:59

Dd is quite convinced that before she came out of my tummy I lived in a permanent state of advanced pregnancy.

Any mention of anything I ever did pre-baby is greeted with a stern "and I was there too mummy, in your tummy."

How did you climb mountains with me in your tummy Mummy?

How did you ride motorbikes with a baby in your tummy?

BouncingTurtle · 16/03/2010 08:26

I still remember my friend's nephew, when he found out his mum was pregnant. He was absolutely adamant he didn't want a baby brother or sister, he wanted a puppy! He then spent all of the pregnancy, after my friend's sister explained that she was growing a baby and couldn't grow a puppy, telling everyone he had a puppy in HIS tummy!
I think he was about 4 at the time!

Jackaroo · 16/03/2010 09:47

DS1 had some good ideas when DS2 was imminent. "But mummy, I don't understand, how do they get the baby back in your tummy after they've taken it's photograph?" is my favourite.

Oh, no, I've remembered. I was reading a pg. book. First chapter, basic anatomy, glorious technicolour... DS caught sight of it. Wanted to see what it was all about. I wanted to go to sleep. DS burst into tears and howled "but, I wanted to see the red boootttommmmmm". Um, yes.

Friend's DS1, on being told there are 2 babies in mummy's tummy "2 babies? That's just silly". That's what they thought.....

Bucharest · 16/03/2010 09:49

dd (6) asked if when women were pregnant with twins, they had "one hump or two"

ladyjadey · 16/03/2010 09:50

My daughter (nearly 4) on the way to school this morning

"mummy, you are holding on to that baby in your tummy so tightly that it makes you beautiful"

one of these days i am going to be up in court for smothering her with kisses!

Arcadie · 16/03/2010 10:06

DS(4): Mummy I think that the baby in your tummy is a girl but that when he comes out he'll be a boy.

bluemonkey123 · 16/03/2010 10:39

DD (5) really wants the baby in my tummy to be a girl and she is going to help looking after it - she will get up in the night when it is crying and change it's nappy, unless it's done a pooh then she will come and wake DH so that I can sleep!!
Oh, unless it's a boy, then she is going to stay asleep

MagicMountain · 16/03/2010 12:23

My nephew, aged 5:

"Do your eggs know that you're not married?"

TottWriter · 16/03/2010 14:05

My DS (currently 23mo) was in denail about his approaching sibling for a while. We would ask him if he wanted to say hello to the 'baby in Mummy's tummy' and he would say 'no baby!' insistently.

Now he comes up and says 'kiss baby', then pulls up my top and attempts to pull my maternity trousers down to see the bump better. He gives the bump a kiss, then either covers it up sharpish, or rests his head on the bump.

He also says 'sorry baby' a lot, and pokes me in my belly button, which he calls an 'eye' most of the time. He also waves at the bump and shows it his toys.

It's all good IMO - hopefully we'll have more of that and less clinging to Daddy and saying 'mine' (I think maybe he gets jealous of my DP talking to the bump).

oremstango · 16/03/2010 14:18

Two of my faves were when my son (3) decided the baby was to be born out of my belly button. He also decided my now outie belly button looks like a little penis!

porcupine11 · 16/03/2010 14:25

My DS is only 17 months so I don't think he's noticed my huge bump particularly, but a little girl he was playing with in a restaurant saw me and said 'Is there a baby in your tummy?'

I said yes.

'ANOTHER ONE???!!' she exclaimed, at the top of her voice!

mrsbean78 · 16/03/2010 18:09

I went to visit a school I used to work in when I was pregnant.

One of my fellow colleagues showed my rounded belly to one of my former pupils (5) and asked: "What do you think is in Mrs. Bean's tummy?"

Pupil (with wide-eyed wonder) whispered: "A puppy?????"

Hope she didn't think I was a bitch

mrsbean78 · 16/03/2010 18:10

Oh and another school I worked in (secondary this time):

Student: Mrs Bean, don't worry if you have a girl! Just tell him it's his fault because it's his chromosones y'know'

paulaplumpbottom · 16/03/2010 19:29

My DD, who was four at the time,was desperate for a little sister so we allowed her to go to the scan when we knew we were going to be told the sex. When the doctor said that it was a boy she gave him the filthiest look and said to him "This is all your fault" then turn on her heel and walked out into the waiting room.

curvychick · 16/03/2010 19:47

After showing DS2 the scan photos of ds3 he replied in horror "but its too dark in there, he'll be scared" Bless him

organichairbrush · 16/03/2010 21:09

When I was 38 weeks pregnant, a friend's DS asked me "so when are you getting cut open then?".

It seems hadn't realised that babies could be born other than by Caesarean. But I didn't want to be the one to give the lesson in female anatomy...

BranflakeGirl · 16/03/2010 22:19

Thanks for the giggles, I love you all and your children are adorable...if a little strange! xx

GinandChocolate · 16/03/2010 22:30

My car-obsessed DS when I was pregnant with DD would tell everyone who asked what was in Mummy's tummy that it was a new car - he was 2 at the time. We did get a new car around the time DD was born.

DD now 5 is convinced that if you add tomato ketchup to cake mix and eat it you will grow a baby. Never sure what to respond to that one.

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