travelling with business (19 wks) but much more to it.

[NatJane]

Hi

My first time on this so not sure what I am doing: But really wanted to get some advice -I have been accepted to go on international fellowship course for 9 days in Croatia. I will be 19 weeks pregeant.

I am not worried about the travelling more about being away from my husband, for the following reasons.

Last weekend my sister-in-law went in to early labour at 22 weeks and lost her twin babies which has devasted the whole family. This has made me and my husband have a lot more anxiety about my pregenacy.

I am also worried that the nearest hospital to where the conference is, is an hour away. If anything did happen it would take my husband (or anybody) at least 12 - 18 hours to get to me.

The trip is a great opportunity and while the subject matter is ok I will get to meet people from all over the world. It will look good from a carrer /cv point of view and I have been the only one from my company asked to go, only 2 people from the UK - I also had to apply and was successful.

What would you do? What should I do? Should I go or not?

Thanks for the help

N

I would go

I'm so sorry for your family's loss . I'm not surprised at all that this has made you nervous.

From a logical point of view your sister in law was just terribly, terribly unlucky and the same thing is highly unlikely to happen to you. But I can imagine why you would be fearful when something so tragic happens so close to home. I should think you and your DH need each other right now too so I understand why you might not feel like travelling.

How likely is it that you will get another opportunity like this? If it may come up again in the future I would be tempted to stay at home this time round. If it's a once in a lifetime opportunity then I think I'd give it a try. Is there any way your DH could join you for part of the course? Even if it means him occupying himself during the day?

As long as your pregnancy progresses 'normally' and is low risk, I would say you should go for all the positive reasons you have written. While your SIL has had an awful and tragic experience (my sympathies to all your family for their loss), it is an unusual occurrence. The chances of anything happening to your baby must be so slim.

Would you regret it if you didn't go?

I know how you feel as my sister lost a baby whilst I was pregnant with high risk twins. My nerves were shot to pieces for a lot of the pregnancy. However you have to be optimistic that your pregnancy will go well otherwise the next few months are going to be terrible for you at home or abroad. I found that getting on with your everyday life in the mean time is the best way to do that and the next thing you know you're full term. But if you mull over every week and stop doing things you would normally do then the time will drag and you'll get very stressed.

I would definitely go to Croatia. You can may be look in to doing a few things to put your mind at rest. I travelled a lot when I was pregnant and I made sure I had very good medical insurance. Get copies of your antenatal records to date, the name, tel number, email and fax number of your doctor, a list of all emergency numbers and a credit card. Not all countries have an NHS. It sounds neurotic but I carried them in my bag everywhere I went. When you get to your hotel ask what emergency procedures are to get you to a hospital. Who to call etc.

It sounds like a great opportunity career wise and it's tough enough for working mothers. Plus Croatia is also beautiful - I went last year.

You should go - its very unlikely that anything will happen - I can understanding that you are nervous - but twin pregnancies much higher risk.

Make sure you have good travel insurance just in case.

I personally wouldn't bother with the pregnancy notes unless there is anything interesting in them.