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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Irritating comments? Vent here!

110 replies

MPuppykin · 16/02/2010 10:40

What wholly irritating / inappropriate comments have YOU gotten?

The receptionist at work comments to me Every Single Day ?We will have to get the floor reinforced if you put on any more weight?.

And, as I have a colleague who is also pregnant, but 7 months compared to my almost 6 ? You are a lot bigger than Elaine already. What ARE you eating? ?

It is starting to annoy me.

And you?. ????

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

flybynight · 16/02/2010 11:17

Mine isn't about my size. I have a friend who has three children - something I have had for over 6 years. Now I am expecting my fourth, she keeps telling me how difficult it is going to be, and how I am going to struggle to cope. What do you say to that? I've not phoned her for a few weeks as a result...

CazEM · 16/02/2010 11:18

This was a fortnight ago....

"Blimey if your this big at 13 weeks your going to be the size of a house by the end and won't fit through the doors..."

From a colleague in work!

Yes I have been showing since 12 weeks, quite big actually for my stage, but I'm enjoying having a bump - don't make me feel fat!! (Now 15+3)

Original poster

MPuppykin · 16/02/2010 11:34

It is really strange how people think that just because you are pregnant they have the right to comment on your weight or size! (Although, I was admittedly delighted yesterday when someone else said ?gosh, you are small for your dates?!).

The other non-size comment I dislike is people who laugh and say ?You have no idea how your life will change? in a really smug manner. I KNOW I have no idea!

OP posts:

jumblequeen · 16/02/2010 11:44

This thread was too tempting to pass up...

I keep getting (from my boss) "you've got all that to look forward to" - every time a baby or child so much as makes a noise above a whisper within earshot. Starting to grate now...

PracticalCat · 16/02/2010 12:12

Mpuppykin, would you mind a small digression?

I've been trawling through the breast thread but haven't quite made it to the end - it's very long - so don't know if someone gave a more complete answer to your question there. Would post there, but there is SO much other stuff going on there, didn't think you'd find it.

Supply is only part of the reason why exlusive bf is recommended in the first six months. As I understand, the health benefits attached to breastfeeding are best achieved through exclusive bf - this is also why early weaning isn't encouraged. There are threads in the archives here that discuss this and it's really worth taking a look.

Sorry for digression!

My gripe question is "still not had the baby yet?" as if I'm being unreasonable and keeping it inside for longer than is strictly necessary. I feel like I've been pregnant forever - am 38 weeks now. Also get lots of "big baby!" and feel obliged to pop out a ten pounder to justify size of bump. Usually I just say, "no, just been eating too much sweeties".

Original poster

MPuppykin · 16/02/2010 12:17

Hi PracticalCat,

Certainly I do not mind the digression! Thanks for answering that question I asked in the BF thread. You are right, I have not really gone back to that thread, so thankyou.

OP posts:

tinylion · 16/02/2010 12:18

my FIL goes, "but what will happen if you get any bigger?"

I'm 27 weeks. Am quite large already.

I'm tempted to say, "well, I might just burst all over the floor"

JazzieJeff · 16/02/2010 12:54

Omg, lol at this thread! MPuppykin, I am in awe of you not ripping that receptionists head off! A reinforced floor?! I'd be like 'at least my extra weight is baby, what's your excuse?'
The best one I've had so far was from my mother... '...oh... was it planned?' No, actually, he forgot to pull out in time.
Xxx

Sappholit · 16/02/2010 13:10

I get loads of comments about my size, though mine have all been because I'm very small. I didn't start to show until I was 30 weeks, and even now (39 weeks), my bump is very small. I've been for four growth scans and they all say baby is fine, but these are the comments I've had to deal with since 20 weeks:

'Oh, I'm relieved everything went well at the scan. I was really worried the baby had died because you weren't showing at all.'

'Your baby will probably fit into premature clothes.'

'Have you been to the doctor? You need to get the baby checked out. It might not be developing properly.'

'I really hate to aske this, but are you still pregnant?'

etc etc etc.

Well, I'm booked in for a c-section on Friday, so we'll find out then whether I'm carrying a dwarf.

bigmuther65 · 16/02/2010 13:19

What really makes me is when after 2 boys every one makes a comment bet you hope for a girl this time .No just a healthy baby with or with out a penis is all i hope for.

Haggisfish · 16/02/2010 13:24

I am a teacher and almost all the pupils asked 'Was it planned' and 'are you going to keep it?'!Imagine if the answer to either of those two questions was no!

Other than that, it's just the insistence on telling you horrible birthing stories, despite me very politely and insistently saying I don't want to hear them.

wizbitwaffle · 16/02/2010 13:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

midori1999 · 16/02/2010 13:41

Thankgoodness for this thread! My head was about to explode!

We already have three children and when we were telling people we were having a baby, they kept asking if it was an accident. Then, when we found out we were having twins, we got a whole host of negative comments, like 'could have been worse, it might have been triplets'... as if having twins is bad news... How I haven't lost my temper and ranted at someone I do not know...

jumblequeen · 16/02/2010 14:10

Sappholit - sorry to hear the comments you've had but you did make me laugh out loud! People do seem to forget that every pregnancy and every person is - thank god - different.

A classic one from my MIL - "bloody hell, we never had trimesters in my day!"

BellasYummyMummy · 16/02/2010 15:01

I've already had comments about any signs of the baby coming- Im 37+4 so still have a few weeks to go!

Also if I moan about backache or whatever- 'well you brought this on yourself'. Thanks!

themothershipcalling · 16/02/2010 15:10

Oh yes bellasyummymummy, that was my best friend throughout my whole pregnancy! She hasn't a maternal bone in her body and seemed to think I picked my due date 4 weeks before her wedding on purpose, everytime I mentioned anything about being tired I was always greeted with something like'well you ony have yourself to blame'.

Amazingly though, she loves my DD.....

Meeshamie · 16/02/2010 15:20

Superb thread!

Irritating comments:

Was it planned? This is my second, I still get asked that. Erm, no, still haven't got to grips with contraception!
When taking the steps instead of the escalator at train station "Oh, I see you're still . . . " What? walking up stairs? I was only about 20 weeks at the time
When seen going off to gym by boss "Are you aloud to be doing that kind of thing?" Hmmm, let's see. Shall I just lay up in bed for the rest of my pregnancy and not come into work then? [yes please]
At 32 weeks pregnant with large bump: "Have you felt any kicking yet?" [now I'm just in a bad mood - fair enough to ask me that given it was a man who's never going to have the opportunity to know what it feels like but he has a wife and two kids so must have some idea]
"Your son is going to have a really hard time when new baby arrives" Will try my best to deal with all that when the time comes but thanks for the negative input!

Think I'm being a tad over sensitive but feel I have good reason to be

Original poster

MPuppykin · 16/02/2010 15:25

I had forgotten about the responses you get when you express pregnancy moans or concerns. I have told a few people I am feeling anxious about the birth (first baby, underlying chronic back issues) and I hate being told ?well plenty of women have done it?.

OP posts:

BellasYummyMummy · 16/02/2010 15:34

lol meeshamie i hate it when people ask me if it was planned- none of their business really!!!

forgot to mention comments from my mum- i dont think you should be doing that in your condition. what condition? do i have the plague?!

Mpuppykin- yes i have also been told 'you'll survive, women have babies everyday'. Doesnt fill you with much comfort though...

BellasYummyMummy · 16/02/2010 15:36

oh yes (sorry thought of another lol!), being told how lucky i am to have a 'holiday' while off work on maternity for a year. Yes because its such a breeze and ill be lounging on a beach all day...!

hippopo · 16/02/2010 15:36

Hi,

I really like this thread too! Four annoying comments spring to mind:

From an annoying friend who has a one year old:

Oh I never had any morning sickness I must have been special

I was climibing mountains at 8 months

So have you though about how you are going to bring them up! - at 12 weeks!

The killer one from my boss last few 'you are pregnant not ill' - still pretty angry about that one!

Original poster

MPuppykin · 16/02/2010 15:45

Hippopo,

Aahh.. yes the ?I was doing this?? comment. I read a comment once in a newspaper from someone who said that pregnant women don?t need to have a seat on the trains, ?? because I was running for buses at 8 months?. At the time I was in my first trimester and having fainting spells, and would get really worried if I could not sit on the underground.

Oh, and a comment from years ago, way before I was pregnant that has never left me. A couple friend of ours came to dinner and the husband said that he thought pregnant women only put on weight ?because they are greedy and lazy?. HIS wife (a petite woman) had only put on about 15 pounds in total, ?and that was all baby?. Clearly then, ALL women could put on only 15 pounds.

Wow? did not realise so MANY comments really annoyed me, but now that I am thinking about it?.. !

OP posts:

Nymphadora · 16/02/2010 15:46

Did anyone hear Sarah Cox on radio one this am? She was going on about people who feel its ok to comment on the size of you when pg

jennimoo · 16/02/2010 15:47

I'm only 6 weeks, and have only told parents and BIL, but BIL's first comment was 'Was it... planned?'

I can't believe people ask that, it seems really rude and intrusive, even from family!

VeronicaCake · 16/02/2010 15:48

'You are pregnant not ill' is infuriating in any circumstances, but particularly annoying when it comes from someone who has just asked how I am, and then gets irritated because I say 'Not too great, have bad heartburn and it is causing me insomnia'. Obviously acknowledging that pregnancy can be less than brilliant is a social taboo.

Most shocking one I've had was from my Dad who asked the day before my 20 week scan if I was feeling much movement and when I said no replied 'Oh dear, it is a good thing you are having your scan tomorrow because if you can't feel movement the baby may well be dead'. He's a GP too, I worry for his patients.

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