October 2010 babies?

[FutureMum]

Hi, I am a first-timer Mum to Be and Baby has been given a due date of 1 October. Very early dates still, so nervous and excited I cannot think about anything else! Planning not to tell family and friends till the first three months are over, but it's going to be tough!
Anyone else expecting an October baby out there?

Poor me and my size A boobies!
They've grown a bit, and probably are about a B now...As long as they get milk, then I'm happy...I guess I don't need to worry much about sagging - lol!

mummy - You've read my mind...I'm about to text dh with the same request...I will get 2 cheeseburgers (no onions), large fries, and an apple pie!

Hi everyone!

Just wondering of anyone else has been told to go to a consultant appointment for a high BMI?

I just went to one, and excuse my language.. but he was an absolute cock.

I did some research and was expecting a bit of a chat about the risks and being told I would have to have an appointment with the aneshtetist (sp?)

Instead I waited three hours (normal I know) to be sent to a doctor who had absolutely no idea why I was there, so I told him, and he decided I should have a scan to be safe before we talked. He spent ten minutes trying to do it himself, with me asking if everything was okay and about to have a literal heart attack at the confusion on his face... then he called in someone else who sorted it straight away and told me everything was fine and pointed everything out to me (amazing!)

So the first doctor tells me that i'm going to have to take metformin... I read the notes he has given me and tell him i'm not diabetic.

He actually just assumed I was!!!

Then he says "sorry.. you should take...... asprin?" said like a question. My DH at this point asked why, was ignored, and I suggested that we should leave...

Maybe I'm making too much of it, but I really feel upset and like I don't want to go back. I'm not the fattest person ever to have a baby and I don't appreciate being made to feel like i'm doing something wrong by conceiving.

Sorry for the rant. Hysterically crying in the car at my poor DH didn't cut it.

Stupid doctor seemed to think I spend my day eating cream cakes, instead of what my day is actually like which consists of throwing up for 24 hours and trying to just keep water down.

Thanks, sorry :p

anythingwithagiraffeonit
I have been told that I will have to see a consultant because of my obesity (BMI is 32)and am quite nervous because so far I have had a lot of negativity about my weight. I was told by the doctor "don't expect too much from the scan with your belly fat". I know that it isn't the ideal situation but apart from the weight I am perfectly healthy.
I am aware that I may face extra problems and am happy to discuss these but I don't expect to be patronised and made to feel guilty that I am putting my childs life at risk because I can't control my eating.
My scan is this coming Sunday and I am really worried by how I wll be treated by the sonographer.

Sounds like you have a great hubby there by the way. best just to give your midwife a call and explain the way you are feeling.

Hi folks, I am bowing out of this thread with sad news, I'm afraid .

Went for 9 week scan today just to check because at 6 weeks it was twins but one was very small. Twin 2 had disappeared and twin 1 sadly had no heartbeat. They think it stopped growing just before 8 weeks.

I can't believe that after all the IVF expense, it all working so well, them putting 3 embryos back in, that not one of them made it. I've done so much crying today because I know it's probably the end of the line for me. All the miscarriage leaflets talk about trying again, but I've been told that because of DH's spetm motility I almost certainly won't fall pregnant naturally, we can't afford more IVF, and I'm 43 into the bargain.

I couldn't bear waiting for it to miscarry naturally so they booked me in for an ERPC this afternoon and so I am now back home, minus baby, bleeding a lot but otherwise physically fine - emotionally not so good.

I know October is going to be really tough for me but I genuinely wish all you lovely people all the best. I hope it goes really well for all of you, and if I feel strong enough, I might check up on here later on and see how you are all doing. I've absolutely loved being on the pregnancy threads and everyone has been brilliant.

I can't find the list to update, it's rather far back now, but if it does get updated, maybe someone can remove me. If not, I'll check back and take myself off if need be.

Signing out through the tears, but wishing all of you so well with your future babies.

Sarah xxx (musicposy) very

Musicposy

Not sure what I can say. How horrid for you and how very unfair. I have had 3 miscarriages, 3 ERPCs (aklthough i had one natural miscarriage one ERPC had to be repeated!) and they're horrible. You are being very brave and my thoughts are with you.

Never say never though - I have heard of plenty of people who have conceived after the doctors have told them it was impossible/very unlikely.

Sending you big hugs.

Ladies

Check you all out with your mammoth boobs! Unfortunately, my sister got the rations for us both and whilst she has a magnificent rack, I do not! They have grown a bit (not difficult!), but are hardly impressive. However, my tummy has exploded. I dont know if it's more obvious if you're petite? If I keep growing at this rate, you'll see my belly a minute or two before I even walk round the corner. I am going to buy one of those belt things to expand your jeans this weekend. At the moment, I just look like I've been too lazy to do my trousers up after the loo.

Am 9+1 today and am v anxious as I miscarried at 9+3 last time. Bring on my next appointment with the prof on Tuesday!

mamjo big respect to you. I often work 12 hour days in a testosterone filled office in the City but have managed to get my GP to write a letter saying I need to do reduced hours, working only from 9am to 530pm. I don't know how you do it. I'd be even more of a nervous wreck if dealing with that amount of tiredness too.

x

Hey all,

Sarah (musicposy) I'm so so sorry, this is such sad news. Really thinking of you and sending you lots of hugs. Don't lose hope. xxx

Sorry to hear about the BMI/rubbish consultant situation.

mummybeth my DH is self-employed and I think we thought we'd take longer to conceive too so finances are not great but at least I get a mat leave package from work (giving him time to make his fortune . Hope you're being a good boss to yourself and not working too hard!!!

Hang on in there KFW thinking of you.

xxx

Thanks KFW only a few more days of this and then the boss has promised to go easy on me for the remainder of my pregnancy - woo hoo!!
Sarah I am so sad to hear your news, words don't seem enough but be sure we are all thinking of you.

My scan is on Sunday - not sure which is the over riding emotion, anxiety or excitement?

Good luck w the scan mamjo! Mine's not till April 8th - argh, though did have one at 9 weeks so mustn't complain.

Got a horrible cough but can I just recommend Waitrose (!) New York cheesecake!! OMG it's a revelation. Yeah, I know, dairy not good for claggy chests but it's cheering me up no end!

xx

Sarah - I wish I could wave a magical wand over you and all would be ok. When this happens, it's like your world crashes down - I've had 4 mc's and it was the worst time of my life...but somehow it does get better and you'll find ways to smile. Do you have any dc?

KFW - Too funny. I'm like you - very petite and little boobies, and already (I'm 12 weeks) my tummy is sticking out but this is my first, so not too bad yet...

mamjo - Good luck on Sunday!

Is anyone else anxious to post on facebook?

I can't wait to tell everyone I need to see face to face and then stick it on FB. We have a family gathering planned for a birthday when I am 14 weeks so am going to wait till then. I have told a few people at work now though because I am just too excited to keep quiet all day everyday.

Oh sarah, I am so sorry.

I won't put anything on facebook for quite some time yet. I am nervous about telling everyone. My mum now knows as my sister suspected & mum dragged it out of me. She keeps saying "I can't believe you're going to have 3 kids - will you cope?!"

My stomach has really expanded to what it was already. I am feeling very anxious about my scan on Tuesday. Just want the waiting to end now!

Hello - just discovered this thread (and Mumsnet), I'm a first timer 11 wks + 5 days today, due 11 October. Great to see so many others at similar stage to me!

Got a question - I work in a big company in a v male dominated environment, I'm the only female manager in London office and am dreading telling them I'm pg as there is NO protocol (my contract has 2 weeks PATERNITY leave no mention of maternity - I just got the standard contract the other managers were given and they're all men!!) Only other person to get pg was a secretary who got statutory min and left the company.

Anyone know what typical maternity packages at FTSE 100 or large companies include? I think I'm going to have to do the research for them and make a proposal. Not looking forward to telling my boss and CEO, they just gave me a pay rise and they've been paranoid I'll get pg for the past 2 years (my boss asked me in my annual appraisal if I'm planning a family which I'm pretty sure is illegal!!) I am planning to go back FT afterwards (at the moment anyway, given DH situation, I don't have much choice).

Soooo, if anyone could help me out or give me any advice, I'd be v v grateful!

Great to have found the thread, hope you are all starting to get through the MS and tiredness. I finally seem to have stopped feeling sick every morning and evening and only get it when stressed at work now.

Hi Claire.

Welcome! I am also new and only found mumsnet a week ago.

I work in a law firm and in my department it's only male associates, save for me, so I have some idea what you're dealing with. My contract says "a copy of our maternity policy is available upon request from the managing partner". As IF you'd ever ask for that before you had to! I have had 3 MC (no kids yet) and so I bit the bullet and asked to see it after the 1st MC. They all know about me being PG anyway, so there was no downside. I am basically going to get a little above stat min (I think 2 weeks extra or something, just so they feel like they are offering a 'package'. ).

I don't know what the score is with all FTSE 100 companies of course (and mine isn't a huge law firm) but in my experience (friends/reading employment contracts) they seem to be pretty good, I guess because they have significant resources.

From a legal stand point, your boss probably shouldn't have asked you about whether you are having a family but it's what they do after that which is important. For e.g. if they then overlook you for promotion they are setting themselves up for a claim (and most people are careful with such questions so that they don't set themselves up in this manner).

They can't cut your pay because you're PG (as I am sure you know!), and to be honest, once you are pregnant (past 12 weeks or whatever) I think it's a good idea to tell them ASAP, at least partly because there are requirements on them to adapt your working environment if necessary. In my case because of my recurrent MCs I am now not attenting overseas hearings/meetings etc).

And - on a purely cynical note in the current economic climate I actually find it quite reassuring knowing they know. - They are far less likely to make a pregnant person redundant because it would open them up to potential claims. Dont you just love lawyers

I wouldnt make a proposal yet - wait until you are asked. There's no rush at 12 weeks. Are there any ladies in another department perhaps that you could ask what they are on? Just because a PA got stat min doesnt mean all other ladies will too. The PAs are on a different package to associates where I work.

Oh musicposy I am so sorry xxx

Thanks very much KFW, v helpful! The only other female managers are in North/South America, Australia etc where there are different policies (because of different legislation/norms) so no one else I can ask in UK. I'm a bit nervous about asking around before telling my boss as the jungle drums work well in our group! The company is relatively young so doesn't have any prior experience of maternity issues at the head office, except for the PA I mentioned.

Totally agree about telling them soon (before anyone guesses and so I can limit overseas travel) - I'm planning to do so this week and will try to discuss package in broad terms then but perhaps not a detailed proposal, just so I have some influence. I think they'll put some pressure on to go back quickly after the birth so have to think about how to deal with that too. How long are you planning to take?

Thanks again for the response and for sharing your experience.

Claire

My firm has included a clause in our contracts which says that if we take more than 6 months off they can redraft our contracts. I am not sure how lawful that is (sounds unlikely as any big changes would amount to constructive dismissal ) and I am going to get an employment lawyer friend to look at it if it comes to it. Because I have had 3 MC and no kids yet, I am not really thinking about specifics as I am afraid I am a bit negative about it all. However, I don't think I'd take a full year if I got there (much as I'd like to). Maybe 6 or 9 months. We have only just moved house and need to pay the mortgage!

Keep your cards close to your chest until you have sounded them out.

Hello again, it's been a few weeks since my last post now, nice to see so many people have joined! Congrats to all of you.

My due date is the 17th October and my first scan is going to be in around 2 weeks time I think. Just waiting for confirmation at the mo...

Just wondering, has anyone else had indigestion? I'm getting it pretty bad after every meal and nothing seems to help. Have tried mint tea and liquid gaviscon (which is OK for pregnant ladies the packet says) but to no avail. Apparentely it's something to do with the during pregnancy muscles in your throat/top of stomach relaxing and it's very common... just wondered if anyone had tried any remedies that worked??

Luckily I'm not having and morning sickness or pains so I am counting myself pretty lucky. My boobs are up a cup size I reckon and are quite tender, and I've definitely put on a few pounds! I have a definite tummy which is just fat at this stage but it was pretty flat beforehand so I'm really noticing it. Have totally gone of chocolate but am eating like a gannet anything savoury. Especially pringles/pretzels which probably accounts for the tum!

Bye for now xxx

Morning all Mums to be!!

Claire19- They can't make you feel pressured to do anything. I was given a leaflet by my Midwife in a big pack which said to give it to the employer, If you look all the way through all of these pages, I did put a link to the document for someone! But they might just surprise you and be a little more supportive.

Sameranda, Yes the idigestion is vile and makes you feel awful, the only thing I can do is sit up straight after food and drink some milk. Other than that it's a case of living with it! (Also sometimes find it helpful to burp TMI sorry!)

Thought I was over the Morning Sickness but keep having wafts of it at the moment. Which is rubbish! But hey I guess it just reminds me that I am pregnant as I don't really have the sore boobs or anything else like that anymore, although the exhaustion is still there.

Am 12 weeks Wednesday but still really nervous about telling all the friends and things. Have another scan at 12+6 so might wait till I've been to that!

Have only got the second scan because the Babies bowel was protruding on the first scan so they want to keep an eye out to check it has moved into the right place!

Anyways happy Monday Mummies! And here's to a 4 day week!!! Hell Yeah!

xxx

Morning Lovelies,

3 day week for me! We get Maundy Thursday off too!!!

Got my be-hind up this morning to do some pregnancy yoga, I used to be so into my yoga before I lost every single ounce of energy I had.... I do feel a bit better for it. So fed up with being tired, and having that weird sicky headache feeling. Humph - how can something so totally ace as having a baby feel so horrible?!

Sam so sorry about the indigestion, it is awful. I'd agree with the sitting still after eating, trying to eat slowly and chew thoroughly and of course Gaviscon!

Good luck babyb with that second scan, hope everything will be where it should be.

Hope everyone has a brilliant day, bit grey here but perhaps there is sunshine where you are.

xx

I don't have the indigestion as such, but I do suffer terrible wind pains after eating. I have had this a lot this weekend, but have had quite a heavy weekend for food as had tea at Claridges on Saturday (our Christmas present from my parents, not something I usually do to pass the time!) & had terrible stomach ache after. Think my stomach had trouble digesting all the different flavour sandwiches & cakes!
Does anyone know if we are ok to take Rennies or similar?

Got my scan tomorrow & am getting more & more anxious about it now. Just want it all done as I cannot focus past tomorrow morning!

My morning sickness has pretty much gone too, but I also get the odd queasy moment pop up. It is often shortly after I have eaten.

Gi everyone

I have finally given in and bought some Gaviscon for the indigestion - my doctor said that's safe to have. I think it actually made me want to throw up more when I drank it but it did seem to help a bit.

I'm not feeling too bad today - my MS does seem to have eased. I'm 10 weeks on Wednesday so not sure if I should be worried or not?

Plus - why am I hungry again about half an hour after stuffing a massive baguette sandwich in?

We are spending easter with my in-laws, and we want to wait till our scan before we tell them, so I'm dreading trying to act 'not pregnant' when wanting to sleep the whole time, not drinking (when normally I drink like a fish) and feeling sick/wanting to eat boring plain food. My MIL is so going to twig - nothing gets past her!

Hope everyone is doing ok today!

Hello All
I am 10+4 today and awaiting my scan next tues... can't feel too enthusiastic until i know all is OK. Have been feeling utterly exhausted, and have been sleeping at any opportunity. Have had enough of feeling like this now. Appetite is all over the place too, gorging one minute, feeling sick the next.
Gilpy how are you doing now? I'm still feeling abit dissillusioned about the whole pg no.3. I guess the scan will reassure me abit??
I definately know this will be the last pg for me!

Hello all, first time pregnant and I've no real idea what's going on - can you tell me what it means to be 10+4, or 11+5. All I know is that I'm 10 weeks pregnant. I'd love to sound like a pro and add an extra number ... what can I do?

Oh, and Claire19 - if there's no maternity policy then it's probably best to assume it's statutory minimum and then anything else is a bonus. I'm in a similar situation with no policy in my contract, although I'm with a v small company with mainly women in the office but a male boss - I'm the first to fall pg and I'm sure it's his worst nightmare. I can't expect loads given the climate and the size of our business, but I'm hoping that if I'm flexible then he will be flexible too ... dreading the conversation though