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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Perineal massage - what to do???

78 replies

Gingerhan · 19/01/2010 21:27

Hi,

I have heard lots about the benefits of perineal massage, but am really flummoxed by the various instructions that I have found on the internet!
I don't have a clue what to do - can anyone give me any advice so that I don't pummel away with no effect?!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
74slackbladder · 21/01/2010 11:37

One other thing...anyone else have eczema?
mine is driving me nuts. i had thought that i couldn't use any steriod cream whilst pg, but gp says i can use a mild one eg hydrochortison, use if liberally for a few days to clear it up, then stop. dh was very jumpy about it and said he didn't think it was right. pharmacist has previously told me not to use steriod creams too.
anyone else suffering with this ?

74slackbladder · 21/01/2010 11:50

sorry everyone...posted on the wrong thread. ignore me

prettybird · 21/01/2010 12:45

IIRC, with difficulty! .... especially with a big bump in the way!

I also got dh to do it for me on occasion - it was much easier for him - and he seemed to enjoy it!

AgathaRaisin · 21/01/2010 12:58

I did not know anything about this, did no massage, gave birth to a 9lber very quickly and had a tear which was not stitched. Now after 13 weeks have still not healed properly and have a 'cup' like tear that collects a little wee each time I go, joy!! So would advise anything that stands to assist your recovery after birth you should do!! If anyone has any advice on my little problem then please let's hear it!! Thanks

tanmu82 · 21/01/2010 13:42

Olifin - I gave birth on my knees over the back of a propped up hospital bed (private home from home room at hospital) DH didn't go down the 'business end'. Though I guess that imoscarsmums experience makes me wonder if it is something you can incorporate into your sex life.....still not sure I'd be bothered to do it though

Bluemary3000 · 21/01/2010 14:00

AgathaRaisin, have you been to your doctors about this. It may be a case of it just heals over time or maybe they could make it a slightly bigger opening that they could stitch?? Not sure but GP would be my route, also your midwife should have picked up on it.

cornflakegirl · 21/01/2010 14:44

I was thinking about doing this when I was pregnant with DS2 - and then I read that it actually only makes a difference for about 1 in 14 women (can't remember the exact figure). Decided it wasn't worth the discomfort! Am glad I didn't, as DS2 was 10lb and I didn't tear.

EmmaBA · 21/01/2010 15:48

I just inserted my thumbs into my ears - la la la la la la la can't hear not listening!

Gingerhan · 21/01/2010 17:31

Thanks so much for all of the advice - DP feels a bit more confident in giving it a go now, as my bump does seem to get in the way!

Friends who have done it said that it did hurt a fair bit, but was really worth it. It's good to have santosh's advice that it shouldn't hurt, so I'll talk to my midwife if it does.

I'll let you know how we get on...

OP posts:
babybarrister · 21/01/2010 20:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

emkay · 21/01/2010 20:43

good luck!

I did it with both my two and had no tears either time. DS was 9lbs8oz...

Don't remember much pain, just a bit of stinging... used cheapo olive oil!

SarfEasticated · 21/01/2010 21:11

I had a cut and a tear when my LO was born and I honestly didn't feel a thing. The birth experience is so intense and the pressure on your nether regions so strong that you are pretty numb. I really wouldn't worry about it. Do it if you want to, but don't fret if you don't fancy it.

AgathaRaisin please go to your gp, there's no way you should be in pain now.

Good luck everyone having a baby is bloddy marvellous

QueenofSleep · 21/01/2010 22:03

AgathaRaisin - please if you get no joy seeing GP asked to be referred back to your maternity unit. They may even have a perineal clinic especially for woman who are having problems with healing, and thing are usually very fixable.

Got DH to massage every 2 days when expecting DS1 - the look of concentration and anxiety on his face was priceless! Tore both times, but so wasn't a problem once had gorgeous baby in arms. The evidence for PM shows that it only makes a difference for first births . . . but it doesn't do any harms at all, so why not give it a go

And just to reassure you, it's more rare to not-poo than poo, as most women empty their bowels before or in the early stages of labour. Plus no-one gives a monkeys

PotPourri · 21/01/2010 22:48

I did it (not right, just on outside) for DD1 - big tear inside adn midwife was amazed that I didn't tear outside.
2nd and third time I did it properly and just had a little graze both times - what a difference.

DO IT! (sayign this as much to myself as I am 36+ weeks and still need to get into the swing of it)

zazen · 22/01/2010 00:47

I think the word massage is a bit misleading - I like to cal it perineal stretching.

The word massage gives the message it's all soft focus lighting and gentle touch etc whereas if perineal stretching is done right it should really be at the limit of comfort and beyond.

You are stretching the vaginal muscles inside the vagina in order that they do not tear during the actual birth of a baby.

The baby's head is bigger than a thumb so who ever is helping you out really needs to lean on it a bit, and stretch stretch those muscle bands inside the vagina.

Get a physiotherapist or midwife to show you and your DP how, and especially if you have had a tear before, and do it as early as possible - 24 weeks is NOT too early.
Scar tissue is less flexible than normal tissue, but with pressure it will stretch - so get started on it asap.

The midwife at the birth should really be hands on stretching you out at the birth, with hot towels and lube / or oils. You can write this in your birth plan that she helps you out in this way.

A note of caution: oils / and essential oils can sometimes cause thrush and other nasties, so use a KY lube if needs be - or nothing at all if you're OK with that.

But the important thing is to do it early and often, and to do it till it's uncomfortable and then some.

Ozziegirly · 22/01/2010 02:46

I honestly cannot envisage a conversation with my DH where I say "so, can you stick your thumbs in my vage, kind of circle them around, and stretch me out".

I don't know how you people have sex but when DH and I do, it is a bit nicer than how this sounds.....

Two4One · 22/01/2010 12:38

I honestly cannot envisage a situation in which I would feel so uncomfortable and shy around my own DH that I would not be able to say anything I damned well please!

Ozziegirly we're not have sex while we do this! It's just a clinical, practical task that needs to be done and surely your own husband is the one person you can ask to do it! If not, who the hell else???

GinGirl · 22/01/2010 13:06

Another person who got their DH to do it to them here...
He was actually better at remembering as well.
Didn't tear with either of my 2 DDs and the first was 8lb 12...

Although is yet another thing to remember to do, I would now swear by it, am positive it is the reason I am still intact!

AgathaRaisin · 22/01/2010 19:47

Thanks for all the words of advice - have been to GP and she suggested as one option vaginal remodelling!! Still laughing now and trying to think of a fancy design!! Watch this space.. . The joys of childbirth... but all so worth it is the main thing.

crankytwanky · 22/01/2010 21:45

at Ozziegirl's "nice sex".

I've cut and torn, and tearing hurts much, much less afterwards. I shall be demanding DH stretches my vag tonight!
D'ya think there is a sexual position you could use for the same results?

HellBent · 22/01/2010 22:27

I just inserted my thumbs into my ears - la la la la la la la can't hear not listening!

I think you might be doing it the wrong way EmmaBA!

SpeedyGonzalez · 25/01/2010 13:37

emkay - ahh, you have put my mind at rest as I'm expecting a big baby too.

Agatha - yes, please do see your doctor, or perhaps call the hospital (if you gave birth there). You may possibly need a minor op to rectify the poor healing - I had an op called a Fenton's procedure - you may require this. I had general anaesthetic and was home within hours. It was the best thing I ever did. You do NOT have to put up with this stuff, so please please please don't!!

74slackbladder - if you're still looking for an eczema in pregnancy thread, feel free to join us here.

Two4one - "surely your own husband is the one person you can ask to do it! If not, who the hell else???" - wouldn't you just ask the neighbours?

Given the choice of another 3rd degree tear or the 'un-niceness' of DH doing my perry massages, I'd choose the latter in a flash.

Cranky - re sexual position - well, not unless your DP's the size of a cannon!

Hellbent - erm...aren't your thumbs meant to go in your fanjo??

allibaba · 25/01/2010 13:59

OMG! "Inserting thumbs.."! I had no idea, I thought it was just massaging the area between the vagina and anus.

Having just looked it up on Google I am now quite embarrassed as I had a conversation with a friend of ours (male) about this recently and was quite open about DH wanting to give it a go, dear god! I should stop telling people stuff like this until I now what it is first!

shipsladyg · 26/01/2010 15:49

I'm 21 wks and my hubby is keen to get going on this too... Quite frankly, I'm willing to give anything a go that makes life easier and also stuff to make my DH feel more involved.

santosh · 29/01/2010 15:28

Start PM at around 34 weeks. I agree that perhaps there is 'discomfort' because this is a strange sensation, but it definately shouldnt make you wince or think ouch!