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Original poster

Perineal massage - what to do???

78 replies

Gingerhan · 19/01/2010 21:27

Hi,

I have heard lots about the benefits of perineal massage, but am really flummoxed by the various instructions that I have found on the internet!
I don't have a clue what to do - can anyone give me any advice so that I don't pummel away with no effect?!

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crankytwanky · 20/01/2010 20:46

Glitterkitten, that's a very optomistic statistic!

Sorry!

People, can you still do it if you have scar tissue?
(1 epis, 1 1st degree.)

MrsBlackbeard · 20/01/2010 21:07

Break out the olive oil!

....q..........p
..
....()()
......( )o( )
.........*

pregnantpeppa · 20/01/2010 21:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Snowtiger · 20/01/2010 21:48

Ha ha ha! Well done peppa for asking the question everyone wanted to ask but didn't dare!!

Personally, having had a natural birth, I think I'm more bucket like than I was before, but think that's more to do with the birth than the massage. You only insert finger / thumb literally an inch inside so it's the outer bit you're stretching, not the deeper part.

I'm widely assured that it 'goes back to normal' but given that I now pee myself every time I cough or sneeze I don't think anything down there will ever be normal again. Am terrified what it's going to be like after a second birth!! Bloody disaster area of knackered muscles and slack tissue I expect...

SpeedyGonzalez · 20/01/2010 21:51

No wonder my perineum got in the way of poor DS's head emerging. I had no idea it was meant to hurt - 'massage' is such a friendly word! I am now even more hopeful that I shall not have a repeat of my 3rd degree tear.

tanmu82 · 20/01/2010 21:54

I never did this PM with either of my pregnancies and I had normal vaginal births with no tearing or episiotomy....and my DC's are just 15 months apart.

Getting DH to do it....what the...!!!! I'm sorry, but there are some things that I could not bring myself to reveal to him...you give up enough dignity in pregnancy and childbirth as it is!

tanmu82 · 20/01/2010 21:59

snowtiger, have no fear....things will return to normal.. I certainly did despite two consecutive pregnancies

ClaraJo · 20/01/2010 22:10

Well, I did perineal massage to the point of pain for weeks with DD1, exactly as instructed, then ended up having a ventouse delivery so they gave me an episiotomy anyway . Healed badly. Felt like I'd got tights on twisted for months.

Was a bit half-hearted about doing it with number 2 and I tore, but healed well. The "ring of fire" was like wide-mouth frog to the max, but a walk in the park compared to the actual labour pains!

Didn't bother doing any massage with number 3. Had an epidural, tore because he was born so fast, but because of the epidural was stitched up at a very leisurely pace by a very skilled doc and now my nether regions finally feel back to normal, 15 years after the first assault!! (DP also v. happy )

My sister swore by the massage though - 2 births, and no tearing.

Belgrano · 20/01/2010 22:24

i'M another complete advocate of perineal massage. I had DD1 (7 lb 15) in 2 hours and DC2 (8 lb 10) in 45 mins without a scratch or graze to show for either of them. This despite having been told by various different partners through the course of my life that I was(ahem) shall we say, tight down there?!! And yes, I/we did lots of boring boring perineal massage from about 32 weeks with each of them.

tanmu82, how did you get pregnant without revealing to your DH those parts of you?

tanmu82 · 20/01/2010 22:28

lol, of course DH has seen those bits, but in an amorous way, not in a funtional, clinical way....

sciennesmum · 20/01/2010 23:17

hmmm always good to learn something new everyday!!
I've pushed 4 children into this world, never ever massaged "anything",no tearing nor anything to ease the "pain" .. just always focused on my breathing (never done yoga) and focused on my self and my body.. the only thing I've always tried is to not panic,find my inner peace and focus only on my self ... but if I ever never will have the 5th one,this massage is definetly something worth trying

Olifin · 21/01/2010 00:19

Ah you see sciennesmum, what you did sounds very like yoga (find your inner peace etc), whether you realised it or not!

I did perineal massage in both of my pregnancies. Well, I say I did, OH did it for me. I had just grazes the first time (7lb DD) and a first degree tear 2nd time (8lb 15oz DS) but no stitches needed. I imagine I could have come off worse if it hadn't been for the massage!

tanmu I found it no more embarrassing than some of the stuff OH witnessed during the actual births (sieving poo out of the birthing pool, anyone?)

thell · 21/01/2010 00:21

That link to the NHS info sheet is really good.
I particularly love the fact that the Research Midwife to contact with any questions is

Ethel Burns

Olifin · 21/01/2010 00:23

Ha ha thell ;D

As mentioned by an earlier poster; I found the contractions themselves far worse than any stretching/tearing of the perineum. I wasn't even aware of the ring of fire' feeling at all.

helenwombat · 21/01/2010 01:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rumpleteaser · 21/01/2010 08:30

Haha I just showed my DP the diagram in that instruction leaflet and said 'you have to do this to me' and he said 'ok'!! Don't think he even knows why! Bless him!

I was told to massage vitamin E oil into the perineum, that's the same oil used for stretch marks and things isn't it? After covering my stomach and boobs in it also I'll be like one of those Stretch Armstrong dolls!

I am also a first timer and will be giving this a try, I'm willing to try anything that'll prevent tearing, it's the thing I fear most about childbirth.

olifin so it IS true that some women poo during birth? I've heard various rumours about this... ok maybe that's my new biggest fear about childbirth

Bluemary3000 · 21/01/2010 08:35

I would just like to add that I joined an NCT group and out of 8 of us, I was the only one that tried to massage. I was also the only 1 that had bad tearing, I was cut and then had 3rd degree on top. Most of the other girls only had small tears. I have had a 2nd child now and did not massage at all this time and ony had 2nd degree tearing.

So with looking at that ratio, I dont think its worth it and actually depends on the stretchiness and size of your parts and to some degree the willingness of body to co-operate. My husband has always told me I am small inside, so I guess I would also have torn. The only thing it can do, is give you a very small idea as to what labour could be like.

Bluemary3000 · 21/01/2010 08:41

rumpleteaser, dont worry about tearin, my contractions hurt more. If its going to happen it will and no amount of worry will stop it. However, as I said i tore badly both times, the initial feeling is 'ow', but I healed quickly both times and was quite happily having sex after a few wks of both children.

And yes it is true of the pooing thing, alough I am not sure whether most women that do poo actually know about it. I didn't with the first, did with the second, but only knew because I asked. Again, not something to worry about, you cant clamp your bum cheeks together in birth and refuse to poo!

rattigan · 21/01/2010 08:50

I find it strange that quite a few people think it would be highly embarrassing for their dh/dp's to do this for them!
Im guessing you people only have sex in the dark!

Bluemary3000 · 21/01/2010 08:59

I must say that my husband told me where I could stick it when I asked him to help. I did it myself and then was pleased he hadn't helped. Not something I wish to share as a couple with him. He watched me give birth twice and although I did the work, i didn't actually have to witness the experience. So I can
forgive him!

And no sex is not carried out in the dark, but there is a line between sex and expanding your wifes bits!!!

Olifin · 21/01/2010 09:34

Eeek, sorry rumbleteaser!

I think it's probably the case that most women poo during birth (according to my midwife friend!) Your..ahem.. 'back passage' gets flattened when the baby's head is descending so anything that's in it is going to come out! Thankfully, they don't automatically give out enemas these days so they let nature take its course.

FWIW, I would have had NO idea that I had done it (both times) if it hadn't been for my OH pointing it out to me after the event. Gee, thanks dear

I would say tearing and pooing were my biggest worries too but didn't even enter my head once I was in actual labour. Youll be fine All the best.

Two4One · 21/01/2010 09:51

What's embarrassing about your husband putting his thumb inside your vagina???

How on earth did you ladies get knocked up in the first place I wonder! (Presumably with something rather larger than a thumb!)

AnAngelWithin · 21/01/2010 10:13

omg I am on baby number 5 and NEVER done this!!

imoscarsmum · 21/01/2010 10:44

Hmm. I couldn't reach to do it myself, due to enormous bump in the way and so, lacking 6ft long arms, asked DP to do it. He happily agreed and we ended up having sex every single time!!

I ended up with emergency c-section so have no idea if it worked but if have another baby, I'll be asking him again!!!

We are quite open as it goes, he's shaved me down there too (pre DD, an 'intimate' moment)

daffodilli · 21/01/2010 11:02

I did it from 34 weeks, it did hurt a little at the start but wasn't too bad. DS was born at 38 weeks 8lb4oz. I had a 2nd degree tear, but the actual crowning ect didn't hurt as the area was soft iyswim. So it might not stop you tearing but I'm sure it helps with the birth and the pains! Luckily I have long arms as there was no way I was letting DH near me to 'have a go' as he put it!

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