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Original poster

Is this normal?

29 replies

babyonboard · 04/07/2005 12:40

I am now approaching 22 weeks and have spent all weekend worrying. i haven't felt the baby move since friday night (although it hasn't become regular or strong anyway yet). i just can't stop worrying that something is wrong, and i am now getting aches in my stomach.
i can't see my midwife until thursday, and don't want to go to the hospital as I'm sure it's not that serious. Around three weeks ago I got very heavy crapms and a small bleed, and was advised to go to the hospital by nhs direct. all i can say is that is was the most horrible, unreasuuring experience. I was sent from a & e to the labour ward. this was disturbing enough as i was only 19 weeks, so if the worst had happened the last place I would want to be was on a ward full of mums about to have a healthy birth. they kept us waiting for over 6 hours with only my blood pressure taken, and when the doctor finally came she was very rude saying basically 'what are you doing on this ward? we wouldn't try to save your baby at this stage' They checked the heartbeat with a doppler and all was good, but no one gave me an explanation as to why the bleeding happened. I am worried that they missed something. Can anyone reassure me that this is just normal 'growing pains' or something, as i haven't had any bleeding at all this time.

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Original poster
babyonboard · 04/07/2005 12:43

One other thing..that experience really put me off having the baby at the hosital I am booked into. Is it too late to change now?

OP posts:
Kinders · 04/07/2005 12:45

Can you phone your midwife and ask for some advise?

pinkmama · 04/07/2005 12:46

Hello babyonboard. I am afraid I have nothing htat helpful to offer, just wanted to say sorry you had such a horrid experience 3 weeks ago. how bloody insensitive of the hospital. As I understand it, at 22 weeks the baby can be quiet for a long itme, it may be in a position that makes it hard for you to feel but it could be wriggling away. I had my 20 weeks scan at around 23 weeks and I could see the baby moving loads but not actually feel it at that moment. Your anxiety is possibly making you worry more about pain that you may not otherwise notice. The pains could be your tummy stretching, and ligaments. Try not to worry, I know its hard though. I had bleeding with my dd and ds, it isnt uncommon, although hard when you never know why. Do you have your midwifes number you could ring her on, or is there an antenatal ward at your hospital?

Azure · 04/07/2005 12:54

Sorry to hear about your worries. If you can't get to see a midwife I would get an emergency appointment with your GP just to have the heartbeat checked out - I did it myself when sick with worry (unjustifiably) at around 18 weeks. I'm sure you're fine, but it's important to have the reassurance. I also went through a stage where I didn't feel anything for several days at around 22 weeks, and am 32 weeks now.

eldestgirl · 04/07/2005 12:58

Make an appointment to see your GP today? He should have a doppler. Also ask what other hospitals you could go to. The staff sound horribly insensitive.
Your stomach aches could just be a nervous reaction to your fears. Please try not to worry. Babies are very unpredictable. Try eating some chocolate? Sometimes the sugar makes them kick.
Sorry I can't be more help.

LilJ · 04/07/2005 14:02

I'm 20+2 weeks and was having the same fears, I had started to feel movement a few weeks ago and then baby went very quiet for almost a week. Had met with consultant last Monday and heard the heartbeat and so knew everything should be fine, but started to get very worried as the days went by. Then last night while watching parts of Live8 on tape the baby had a real kicking fit when The Who came on. Must be a Who fan - or not!

I've been told that in the early stages of movement the baby has plenty of space to move around so you may not feel anything for long periods at a time. It's been recommended to me that the best way to feel the baby is to eat something and then lie down and relax and you may well feel movement soon after.

Try not to worry too much and hope you feel the baby soon!

CarolinaMoon · 04/07/2005 14:10

it's normal to have that sort of stretching pain, but horrible to be worrying like that. When I was 28 weeks pg there was a night when I didn't feel ds move at all (and by that stage I could feel pretty much every kick). Fortunately the MW clinic was on at my GP's surgery the next morning, so I went along and they found his heartbeat on the doppler right away. I was so relieved I burst into tears

Even though they'd found his heartbeat they still wanted me to go along to the hospital to be monitored, and they sent me to the antenatal unit for half an hour's monitoring.

Is there any chance you could be seen at your hospital's antenatal unit? (presumably you got sent to the labour ward last time because it was out of hours?)

Could you call your MW and see if you can just go in there to be checked over? It is really reassuring.

Original poster
babyonboard · 04/07/2005 19:15

I hadn't thought of any other department at the hospital just because of my horrid experience there before. The recepionist at my g.p says next monday as it isn't an emergency! so may aswell wait for the midwife clinic. I actually went to a drop in nhs surgery this afternoon but after a 3 hour wait and still no promise of being seen (and to make things worse I have a uti at the moment) i just went home.I've considered buying a moniter, my mum says you can get them for as little as £20 on ebay but will this work?
plan now is to call womens health at a nearby hospital tomorrow and see if they will help me, i don't want to go near lewisham hospital again!

OP posts:
kama · 04/07/2005 19:18

This reply has been deleted

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dizzymama · 04/07/2005 20:01

So sorry to hear you're worried, i remember it very well. I was fortunate to have a very good hospital, but a friend who didn't had a great idea.... she was worried about movements and so went for a drive, conveniently near to a fantastic hospital. she then called in saying she was staying with a friend nearby and was worried etc, they got her sorted and reassued in no time. obviously this only works once though! hopeyou're reassured soon chuck x

Harriett · 04/07/2005 20:27

Sorry to hear of your bad experience. I have also had some bad experiences with midwives and also some brilliant ones- you have every right to change your midwife and/or doctor at any time, so don't feel that you are going to get that treatment every time you see them. In my hospital you go straight to the delivery suite after 19 weeks if you have any worries- I fell over at about 28 weeks and had to go there to be checked over- it was very strange being in a room with labouring women but if you are worried you should be taken good care of. I hope you get better care next time and all the best for the next few months.

Original poster
babyonboard · 04/07/2005 20:41

Thanks guys..sometimes words of encouragement are enough and I can't call my mum as she would needlessly stress over this. I have thought thatmaybe my worries have made me hyper-sensitive to anything going on, and also as I am stuck at home at the moment I often feel like I have nothing else to do but worry...as i said before I am loathe to see a hospital just because of last time, and I don't want to feel like I am wasting their time. I do however have a scan in a week and two days, so if things don't get worse at least I have that to look forward to for reassurance
thanks again.x

OP posts:
dandycandyjellybean · 04/07/2005 21:05

I had a problem with a registrar that I saw at my hospital, and after several days of real distress i decided to make a complaint. The hospital put me through to the PALS dept, (patient advice and liaison service). They made it clear that they weren't a formal complaints procedure but that they would be able to try and help me sort out any difficulties I was having. Although part of me wanted to make a formal complaint, the biggest part of me just wanted to be reassured that if I had any problems in future I could trust the people into whose hands I was entrusting my care, not to mention that of my unborn baby. Sorry, very long winded way of getting around to saying that rather than moving hospital, it might be worth making a complaint about the treatment you received. The PAL service bent over backwards to help me, and although I'm still not keen to have my baby in hospital, (for lots of other reasons) I feel that my concerns were heard and extrememly well responded to. Hope that helps.

Spongebob · 04/07/2005 21:09

I remember that around 22/24 weeks....my baby went extremely quiet for a few days and I was terrified, but he then started moving again. I really hope everything is ok. xx

Original poster
babyonboard · 04/07/2005 21:15

thaanks reebers..I don't know if it's just london hospitals but everyone I know here has had poor treatment, whereas friends all around the country , whether having a baby or not have had the best care you could imagine.
perhaps the care will be different for the birth, but as far as I saw they put me, potentially having a miscarriage (i know - i thought the worst)- in a room of 5 other women in early labour and then the staff were very rude and uncaring towards me, and didn't reassure me whatsoever. (when we left my bf who was there thoughout, and not as emotionally distraught as me said 'so what happened!?)
I would be very glad to make a complaint in writing about this experience, but I will still be reluctant to give birth to my baby there. I know there are several hospitals nearby -being in london -and would appreciate some information from others as to which would be my best option if i choose to change.

OP posts:
rodeo1 · 04/07/2005 22:08

Hi babyonboard, I'm 22 weeks too, I know exactly what you mean about the worrying, I've worried terribly throughout this pg and it's baby number 3! Just waiting to get to the 'viable' weeks.

It was really insensitive and rude the way the doctor spoke to you, sometimes they really have no bedside manners!

Come over to the 'Due in November 05' thread in the antenatal section for a chat if you want to. They're all very nice over there - although I am biased, and we do keep getting the odd new member - you'd be very welcome! x x x

rodeo1 · 04/07/2005 22:10

Oh, forgot to add that I'm sure everything is fine and normal and I'm sure you'll get the reassurance you need at your appt

Original poster
babyonboard · 06/07/2005 21:47

thanks again guys ..and sorry if i am just being a nervous first timer here but i can't shake the felling something is wrong..i have an appointment at 5pm tomorrow...so fingers crossed, but what can i do to ease my mind in the meantime?
I am also panicking as i didnt find out i was pregnant til quite far in and i was drinking and smoking quite a lot..obviously i haven't touched the things since then, but can't help but worry this has done some harm..

OP posts:
CarolinaMoon · 06/07/2005 22:48

Oh babyonboard, I really feel for you. I spent my whole pg tying myself up in knots worrying (needlessly) about the drinks I'd had before I found out I was pg, cos that wasn't til 8 weeks. I'm sure you haven't done anything that would affect the baby.

good luck for tomorrow

lucy5 · 06/07/2005 23:03

try having along soak in the bath, thats what I used to do to reassure myself, baby would often move. 22 weeks is a worrying time movement wise, give it a few more weeks and youll be eating your words. Good luck tommorow, try to to relax, easy said then done!

Original poster
babyonboard · 07/07/2005 12:24

argh..it just gets worse..i won't be seeing my midwife as i am obviously not going to go into central london today!
the news has left me really shaken...i can't stop shaking, and my stomach is cramoing..nhs direct said under normal circumstances i should go to the hospital, but to not bother unless i get bleeding. i don't know what to do..i am stuck at home alone panicking and scared.

OP posts:
CarolinaMoon · 07/07/2005 12:27

can you see your GP? If you explain the circs to them, it would be really harsh of them not to fit you in somewhere (assuming you can get to them).

Original poster
babyonboard · 07/07/2005 12:32

my g.p is in central london..so i want to sit tight at home to be honest..i have tried calling more local surgeries but many have been closed and people sent home..thinking about just going to the labour ward as i imagine they won't be too overstretched..the reassurance will be comforting

OP posts:
CarolinaMoon · 07/07/2005 12:42

can you get there and back without public transport? sorry, not sure where you are or how much transport is affected outside central london.

but yes, get it checked out there if you can. like I said before, if you can get to the antenatal dept at the hospital they will probably be able to monitor you in a calmer environment than the labour ward.

rodeo1 · 07/07/2005 13:51

I agree with Caroline, see if you can get to your antenatal ward if you are still worried, don't worry about being a burden, you (very understandably) need reassuring. Good luck x x x

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