help.. MW appointment felt a little fobbed off.

[SmilerJane]

Hi all,

Just a msg to ask i'm approx 12/13 wks (scan 2mo) We just came back from my 2nd mw appointment and felt a bit dissapointed. When we got there we went in and she did my bloods first which was hard but fine.. i tried to talk to her after about my painfull stomach as i cant stop bein sick which is resulting in bad bowels and the other night i bled after goin to the toilet. (not the rear end) And she just said thats normal n dont worry you got a scan 2mo. i asked if anything i can do to help and she said no it means a normal healthy pregnancy so just gotta put up with it!

She took no Blood pressure n didnt do my weight which i'm worried about as 3 weeks ago i already lost 1/2 stone n went down to 7 1/2 stone. i think i've lost more too.. she didnt even feel my tummy either.
Even tho i have had 2 DC i'm sure i had more indepth health checks.. Can anyone help if she was supposed to do all checks this visit.. my next mw app isnt till 17th feb now

Hi there, just to reassure you, where I live they do all the proper checks at the scan appointment (weight etc) and you should also be able to discuss anything on your mind (if not, insist!). No excuse for what sounds like a rude midwife though!!!

Do you think during the scan they'll check my stomach etc tho?? as i feel bruised inside where i been sick alot (2 mths of it now)n my bowels hurt (i felt like my tummy was going to burst the other eve) i'm scared its not gonna be good news n she didnt reasure me at all. even laughing hurts me

i dont think i had any health checks durin my scans with my DD.. Just wished i knew all was ok for definate

i thought that every MW app they had to check BP tho??

All the midwifes ive seen in my pregnancy so far have been very matter of fact and almost rude but i think its just that they see so many women who have the same problems and dont realise that its important to be reassured properly!
I also think most people only get weighed at the first appointment now, i am 27 weeks and have only been weighed at the first appointment and my last one a couple of weeks ago (which was only because i wanted to see how much weight i had gained!).
Kind of weird that she didnt take your BP though.. i thought that was standard for every appointment!!
You could always make arrangements to see a different midwife maybe? I had the choice to see the ones at my doctors surgery or to go to the clinic at the hospital.
I know i definitely wouldnt be happy with being shoved out of the door without any of my questions answered!

the only reason i was worried bout my weight is that i'm only little n already lost 1/2 stone.. with my DD i went down to 6 1/2 stone n they was really worried.
i did think she was supposed to do BP but like i said she was quick to take bloods and get me out for the next person..
and i just looked in my maternity book and she has written nothing inside??? is that right?? got my 1st appointment details in there but not todays. i'm confused!!

i scared to request another mw as she'll know i did this . my nearest Hospital is about 30 min drive away.. however we dont drive so would have to catch 2 busses to get there. ok on early stages but will get harder the further gone i am.. oh i dont know what to do got ages b4 i see mw again

Maybe you could make an appointment with your doctor regarding the weight loss? cos by worrying you might make it worse! especially since you say they were concerned before with your DD.
And dont forget, you can always make an appointment sooner to discuss things with your midwife, maybe she just had a really rushed day and completely forgot..which would be super rude but it is possible!
Every time ive been i get BP, urine, any problems i wanted to discuss etc etc all written in the notes in that green maternity book thing.
Also, at your scan tomorrow you could always pop into the antenatal unit and just ask to have a chat with a midwife or something, if only to put your mind at ease!
Sorry, i dont really know what to suggest, it sucks that so many people have crappy midwifes!
Hope it all works out for you!

thanks very very much rattigan
i think i will pop in2 antenatal 2mo n see if i can have a chat about it all.. as i have had 1 bad mc b4 n stressed n worried as it is.
i just want to cry atm due to this visit. she took my urine but didnt do anything to it or say anything.
i definately need a peace of mind. hope all goes ok 2mo.. i got everything crossed

thanks again
more help than you think

SJ- your not alone with your feelings my MW is so relaxed even my gp was angry with lack of info on my notes, weight not checked,no baby measurements and my appts where so far apart like because im on LO 3, i didnt need monitering! so thankful not had any major problems and although i had history MW wasnt worried at all! Thankfully now 38 - was due appt today with MW i hope i dont see her again!
i dont care how busy MW days has been the same treatment and care should be for everyone thats there job! and being told thats "normal" and "dont worry thats just pregnancy" just doesnt come across nice,not all pregnancies are textbook and we need constant reasurrance and they should understand that!

Good luck tomo and yes def pop in AN.dept and speak to someone!

If the MW is really stressing you and you don't think you're being cared for properly, please please please just phone the supervisor of midwives and request to see someone else. I waited till I was 30 weeks gone to complain and get transferred, and really wish I'd done it a lot earlier. My MW was a bully, took my BP with wrong cuff even though I told her it was wrong, tried to put my husband off coming to antenatal classes with me, suggested I have an abortion due to my having a hard time at the start of the pregnancy (not what you need when you've tried to get pregnant for 3 years and already had 1 miscarriage).

You have the right to request someone new, it doesn't matter if the current MW knows you requested it. It's your body, your baby, your pregnancy, and it is your right to do what you think is best! If you think this MW is fobbing you off and you're not comfortable with her being in charge of your care, then change!

She sounds rubbish, insist on seeing a different MW or go and see your GP. Bleeding in pregnancy is not normal at any stage and she should have been more sympathetic. Do you have an Early Pregnancy Unit that you could call and talk to another MW?

Yeah, ditto to the above really. Bleeding is not 'normal' at 12/13 weeks, particularly if it's associated with going to the loo. If nothing else make an appointment with your GP to get that checked out - s/he'll also be able to check your BP and your weight if you're concerned.

It also really sounds like you need to go over this woman's head and ask for a different midwife, because there's nothing worse than being pregnant and not getting the help you need. Don't worry about her personal feelings - if you get transferred it's because she's not doing her job properly, and you have to let her superiors know. Apart from your own wellbeing, how many other women is she not looking after? Reporting ppor practice isn't bad - think of it as doing a community service that also happens to give you a vastly improved pregnancy experience.

I would see GP about stomach pain as at the en dof the day the MWs are not doctors and probably just don't know much about that side of things - just used to saying yes that's normal for pregnancy.
I think it is normal just to do bloods and wee and a chat at that stage - they can't reliably hear the heartbeat yet and you'll get all that at the scan.

I didn't have an appointment from my named MW until 16 weeks, was weighed at booking in (11 weeks) and had blood taken. At that first meeting I had urine, BP, foetal heart rate, fundal height done. Every single appointment that I've had, including positiong scan and a panic appointment due to decreased FM has been very carefully minuted - I'm suprised there's nothing in there.

As you are already quite light I would have thought they would be more worried about weight loss.

I'll just ditto others - go and see your GP. He/she is qualified to assess, diagnose and help treat your weight loss and stomach discomfort, your midwife isn't. I've had similar issues during this pregnancy and it's turned out to be irritable bowel syndrome. Although my lovely midwife did agree with me that it was likely to be IBS, she also agreed that a doctor's appointment was the best way to go to rule out more serious things.

Hope you feel better soon and hope you get to see a sympathetic doctor.

hi all.. just to let you all know i did speak to a MW at the hospital... she said YES the MW i saw on wed should of talked to me more and done my obs etc..
she checked my urine n i have something in it so she thinks i may have a infection so waitin on that result mon.. MY MW didnt even check so i'm not happy with her. Oh and found out by the hospital MW i am under consultant care from 20 wks (i have appointments with a doc at the hospital from 20wks aswell as the community mw due to previous problems in pregnancy etc, feel relieved knowing this.. so much for my mw telling me all this. i should get all blood results etc 2mo

Scan went well on thurs and pics are up on my profile if any are interested. baby turned and looked n waved at us which was tear jerking

i'm starting to feel less sick so managing to keep more down so stress prob had a bit to do with why my sickness.. still sick but not half as much weight should now pick up.

hope everyone is well