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Surrogates - can I do it?

4 replies

Only4nappies · 19/11/2009 16:54

Have name-changed because I've got a lot going on reported in MN atm, and I don't want anyone to go are you crazy?, but I have thought about this many times before and now I have a friend who has run out of money for any more IVF and is desperate for a child.

I have spoken to DH about this in the past, wrt this particular friend and how we might be able to help her, and he is supportive although we would both agree that right now is not the best time. However, if she still needs help in a couple of years time, I want to be as researched up as possible so that we can just get going (provided she agrees, - I'm making no assumptions)

Does anyone know where I would start in finding out how to go about this sensibly and how to find out about the process, treatment and likely risks to me and my family, as well as the costs. I would not charge a penny for profit, but would want to ensure that my children don't lose out on anything essential (I have a SN child in case you haven't got the hint from my name) if I am not able to provide it directly for a while.

I'd be interested to hear from anyone who has direct experience.

Many thanks.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
QOD · 19/11/2009 16:58

Go to COTS website and have a browse on the open forum - www.surrogacy.org
Even though you have your "own" couple in mind, the information & contact is in valuable
I have a 10yr old dd thru straight surrogacy (which is I guess what you want to do> ie your egg & her husbands sperm(

Only4nappies · 19/11/2009 17:02

QOD, no it isn't 'straight'. It'd be her egg and her partner's sperm (I think) so I'm guessing nasty hormone injections for me?

OP posts:
Only4nappies · 19/11/2009 17:12

The COTS website is broken. The link to the downloadable information booklet doesn't work

OP posts:
QOD · 20/11/2009 15:58

WOnderful though only4nappies BUT IVF with a surrogate is indcredibly expensive, more so than with direct - although of course perhaps her eggs are not the best quality
You have additional costs for counselling, she'll have drugs, you may have them as well which doubles up (some surrogates do it ona natural cycle)
oooer hadnt been on the boards in a while, they will be up again soon I am sure.
There is another organisation - surrogacy uk - you could look on their board - personally I have no experience of them, I personally don't like the way they match surro & parents but I am sure they are as professional as COTS with the support & advice - have a google!
Good luck ! It's a truly wonderful thang!

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