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[pumpkinpureeandghostlypearls]

I am suffering SPD (for the second time) and just need to vent without driving everyone else on my pregnancy thread mental. Not that they aren't supportive but I still have 20 weeks to go and I don't want to ruin their pregnancies by talking about mine!

Please come and join me so I don't feel so alone, and feel free to share tips if you have any....

Good luck at the consultant - I'm a newbie to the thread but also trying to arrange a c section and having to jump thru hoops in the hope of getting it. Hope it goes well.

Ok, back from my appointment, finally saw a consultant who listened to my worries and appreciated where i am coming from. She is perfectly willing to give me a csection, that will be at 39weeks, but if i change my mind and am willing to try natural, she is happy to induce me at 37weeks. pretty sure im going to wait for 39weeks for the csection (or go in for a csection sooner if i go into spontaneous labour) as the anxiety of worryinng about all the million of thigns that could go wrong in the delivery.

back to see the consultant in 2 weeks time to book the csection, so i can change my mind if i want, if not i will have a date for the csection.
ive been put onto blood thinners for the risk of DVTm so now have an injection to do each day, but that was to be expected really.

calm, rested and relieved and hugely more relaxed is an unndersatement!!!

That's the best outcome KTW: your choice. Just how it should be.

^thanks looloo

id love to do kneeling on the bed, makes me very annoyed that i v badly tore the ligament in the knee when i was 8!!!

scotsgirl - how many weeks are you? make sure you find a dr who listens to you and understands just how much going through this pains you and stress, anxiety etc, not good for baby. took my 3rd opinion, but i finally got a really nice dr who understood and has given me the option of each and the next 2 weeks to make a decision

im considering asking the consultant at the next appointment (in 2 weeks) if i could try for a natural delivery, but only if i could then have a csection if i freak out or something happens. i know they would do an emergency if anything seriously went wrong, but i mean more if i changed my minnd half way through the labour, would they be ok to take me in for a section or would at that point they only section me if somethings wrong. who knows, worth asking the question i guess.
the consultant said the reason she would induce me at 37 but not csection till 39 is that if theres been a bit of labour then the lungs on the baby have had some pressure and have less fluid on them when they come out if an emergency csection is done.

im rambling!!!

So glad it went well KT. I'm 38+2 unbelievably - I only saw my midwife at 28 weeks (she referred to physio) then at 36 when she finally referred to consultant. Saw consultant last week who was utterly horrible, didn;t bother actually asking what I could do in terms of mobility, had me literally bawling my eyes out and then trotted out the " we don't do sections for maternal request" line.

However, she then asked me to see the consultant midwife and the go back to her next weke (I'll be 38+6!!!) for a final decision. Saw the midwife yesterday who was totally supportive and basically agreed that she could not see a realistic position for me to give birth in - I told her everything I'd considered/tried and she basically said if you can't do those then I can't suggest anything else and you've clearly thought it thru so back to consultant!

So definitely no curries for me over the weekend while I try to get this sorted. Although the midwife pretty much said that if the consultant says no, you go into labour and can't even get in a confortable position for an internal exam/are struggling to cope then we may have to make a decision on the day.

Your consultant sounds lovely though - I wish we had more choice up here.

Back from the school run .
Welcome scotsgirl, seems a bit late to be sorting this out but at least the mw is on your side.maybe you could get the physio to write something about your (lack of) mobility.But then it was probably pretty obvious if they asked you to hop onto the couch.

Hi whimsi I'm seriously considering a homebirth too at least I know my limitations at home. I'm wondering if I get another gymball I can sit on one and lean on the other over the sofa or bed. I'd get DH to make sure I didn't fall off. Then whip one away at the last minute! With dc2 I had a really short second stage (15 mins) so i could even do standing for that long. But if it gets difficult I don't mind transferring in. my only hurdle is that as I'm over 40 I'm being advised by the consultant for induction at term, so I need to get the home birth in early. DC2 was born at 39w1d and I'm not going to say when dc1 was born as I don't want to freak out scotsgirl!

hope everyone else is getting on ok on the spd sofa

scotsgirl - my midwife (it wasnt even the nice one) said similar in the end, i had the midwives and the anaesthetist agreeing with my thought of csection. When you get to the appointment try going in with a list, make a list of reasons you think that a natural birth wont work (i.e no birthing position will work for you, same as me), you dont want to risk something going wrong when natural birth doesnt realise - for me that thought is that the baby will get stuck and emergency measures will then need to be taken.

if you go in with a list of reasons why you dont think it will work, state that you want a csection, that you are HUGELY anxious about a natural delivery and you are at your wits end and you are scared that if you go into spontaneous labour that both you and baby will be at risk. make you you say that you understand the risks of a csection and the recovery period, but your anxiety level is through the roof and you cant and dont see another option.

If there is anyway, ask to see a different person that you did last time. call up the midwives and ask if theres another consultant you can see (i had to go out of my area as thers only 1 consultant in my area). if there isnt another consultant you can see you can ask the receptionist to get you into the registrar. a different doctor might have a different opinions. Your best bet is to call the midwives and ask for another consultant, it may mean travelling a little further but it would be worth it just to get the OK for a csection.

Main thing - call your midwife, explain to her the horrible experience you had with the consultant (thats what i did), ask to see sommeone else, anyone else that can get you the csection you need.

i really hope you find what you need and things dont kick off in the mean time!!

looloo - how far away are you from the hospital if you need to go in? im 30mins away so it freaks me out that somethign could go wrong and it would take me too long to get to hospital.

doing ok here on the SPD sofa, my anxiety is much better since the dr agreed to what i needed

Thanks KT, it is infuriating that they are leaving it so late - I;m sure things could be done with less than a week between appointments at this stage! I;ve actually already transferred to what was supposed to be the nicer hospital - the consultant complained about my late transfer, basically because my midwife didn;t bother doing it until 36 weeks despite being asked at 28.

I'm hoping this senior midwife will have some sway over the witch I saw last time - I am beginning to get the feeling that it is virtually standard practice here to refuse straight off and try to scare the living daylights out of you and then see if you still keep jumping through the hoops. I was quite suprised as the first time I saw the consultant she really didn't ask much about my SPD, didn't discuss pain free gap etc. Seemed to just have an attitude of "other ladies manage" and "shall we arrange for you to see the anaesthetist to discuss epidural". Erm, no, thanks, we shan't!

I do think it's wrong that SPD is so badly treated, and so inconsistently. You only have to look on here to see that. I'm by no means saying that every person with SPD should have a section, but the lack of decent research and knowledge is just shocking. We shouldn't be in the position of being close to or at term and begging to be treated appropriately. My consultant even said that there is no evidence of women ever having long term damage//pelvic problems after giving birth when they had SPD regardless of what they did, and that anything on the internet wasn't true......

Tries to climb off hobby horse then realises legs won't open far enough

scotsgirl - i know what you mean, the first doctor i saw didnt really ask anything other than what painkillres i was on, thats was her only concern, that and DVT risk, but hey. it does seem, like you said, that the treatment is so random, and they wont offer you a csection, they seem to want to make you 'manage', which yeah like you, freaks me out as ive heard so many ppl who have had a natural delivery and problems after, obviously lots who havent had problems, but its not like there are stats on it or good enough information, it seems like i know more about SPD than some of the drs and midwives ive met!

that was my fear, as my consultant just kept saying that we would see where we are at 38 weeks, and i was freaking out as it just seemed waaaay to late to start thinking about a birth plan!

Too right there is not enough knowledge of spd among HCP.They need to get themselves some policies on c-sections and spd and it should not be us refusing forceps, it should be them advising against the use of forceps. I had forceps with dc1 and wonder if I'm paying for it now.If they are trying to bring down their csection statistics they are starting in the wrong place. If they said something more credible like 'no we don't want you to have a sestion we will assist you by providing suitable waterbirth facilities' then that would be different, they are not giving any positive suggestions. Let's hope I don't get any worse and land up going down this path.

Don't worry too much scotsgirl if they won't do your section, I read on the homebirth website that often with spd you get a very short second stage. But if a section is what you want I will be if they don't give it to you.

fingers crossed for you looloo.Apparently a lot of places won't permit water births for SPD either, because you are unlikely to be able to get out in a hurry if you need too. I was told they don't like it here (obv a homeborth they can't stop you.)

I'm not sure what we are meant to do really - give birth suspended in some sort of giant baby bouncer I think!!

Admittedly, I am at the stage where (and the midwife pretty much said this may be what has to happen) if I go into labour naturally before it's agreed, or am refused section, then I am just going to point blank refuse to exceed my pain free gap or adopt any uncomfortable positions. We'll see how they manage to do an internal exam when my legs don't even open far enough for sex any more!

What can I say, almost 39 weeks, sore and fed up. For me, SPD (plus earlier hyperemesis) has really made pregnancy utterly miserable and quite frightening. I can't face much more and I'm fed up of the don't give a damn about mum attitude in our maternity care around here.

^ yeah the midwife has said not a water birth for me either, as you said as they cant get you in and out of the water themselves, you have to be able to do it, which most of us cant, i know i cant get in and out of the bath!

i think you have the right idea, youve stated your opinion on the matter, that your scared, dont think you can do it, dont think its safe. never know, you might go into labour and the dr on call be really nice and agree to section you!! well we can but dream.
all i would suggest maybe is that at the slightest hint of labour go straight into hospital and scream bloody murder until they section you, they are more receptive shall we say of labouring women being somewhat irriational scared etc. aparently were only allowed to do it when actually in labour, and it doesnt count when were not!!

good luck, let us know how things go from day to day, i cant imagine the huge amount of horridnes your day is being scared of going into labour

Lol sorry ladies just realised I sound a right moany cow! Only finally gave up and went on maternity leave this week and being stuck in the house is kind of magnifying things.

I swear, once I am able to, I may have to give my DH a big kick in the bollocks just to share some of the pain! Bless him he's been really good, but he has moaned for the last few days about being tired........

just kick him in the bollocks anyway!! youve done so well to last this long before ggoing on maternity leave. Ive been signed off sick from work since i was 18weeks pregnant with the SPD

sitting around allday certainly maginifys things, i can certainly sympathise with that

hows everyone on the SPD sofa this weekend?

Hi everyone, dc2 was 4 yesterday and although DH did the food for the family do I was hardly standing by 6.45 (when we put the kids to bed as dc2 was going into meltdown).it's diff when there are lots of people round as you can't really ask them all to get off the sofa so you can lie down for 10 mins. Or can you?
What i mean with the waterbirth thing is that they should really help you more to have one rather than saying if you can't get out of the pool you can't have one they should provide help to get you out if necessary . it's not as if you're going to be getting yourself from trolley to bed after a c-section. it would be a lot cheaper to support those women who want a waterbirth by having extra staff than to have them having sections. I'm pretty sure i can get in and out of the pool but I'm still happier to have a homebirth and get in and out of my own bath as I hold onto the top of the shower cubicle which is right next to the bath.
Hope you're all comfy on the spd sofa.

i'm still swimming quite a lot and find i can get in and out of the pool by using my arms to slide myself out backwards (does that make sense?). It's actually easier than getting in and out of the bath. I reckon that could be a go-er in the birthing pool couldn't it?

LooLoo, kick em all off the sofa! I've given up being polite - my feet stay up, guests or not!

Totally agree they should help support water births if you feel you could do it. They should support whatever women trying to cope with this feel comfortable with. The senior midwife I was talking to basically said that she believes one of the single biggest factors about how successful a birth of any type will be, is how positive you feel about it especially before hand. So how does sticking up road blocks and backing us into corners help?!

Whimsical, I think it would depend on the birth pool. The ones at my hospital are more like a bath in terms of how you would get in and out i.e. you have to step up over the side and in to them. Unfortunately it's something I really struggle with movement wise. Hope it works for you though.

Back at the evil consultant tomorrow so very nervous on this sofa! Hoe everyone else is doing ok.

Yeah - would depend on how you would need to get in and out of the pool. personally wouldnt even work now even if there were steps out of the local birthing pool - i can no longer do stairs!!

everyone knows that when i have to put my feet up, i just have to, mind you im rarely anywhere else other than the sofa, so people dont have much of a choice, but were lucky and have more seats on the other sofa for the few people that visit.

i think a positive attitude about the birth is hugely important, its one of my fears is that my sheer anxiety about the birth would make things go wrong, even simply thigns like my stress making my blood pressure etc worse.

good luck for tomorrow scotsgirl i hope you get someone who listens and is willing to reassure you and give you what you need!

ah!!! sorry very frustrated as i think im going to be in for a night of not sleeping at all with the pain and hubby is snoring away on the sofa bed next to me - just not fair!!

We actually have 3 sofas but only one is nice and long and (only you lot will understand this) I can only lie with my head at one end,if I try getting on the other way I just can't do it.
I get in and out of the bath by getting very close to it then hanging onto a chair or the shower cubicle I put all my weight on my arms and quickly swing in one leg at a time. I'm not going to bring up the waterbirth question with the mw as I hope to have a homebirth and if I have to go in I'll just ask if the pool is available and get on with it. DH can haul me out if necessary.

Hope you managed to sleep ok KTW. I'm getting a bit worse in bed but I'm seeing the physio tomorrow so maybe she can straighten me up again.
Hope things go ok for you scotsgirl today.
Keep on swimming whimsi!(when are you due?)

Yeah - even during the day ive got the sofa out as a sofa bed, so theres plenty of space for me to stretch as much as needed.

im thinking of getting myself a little stool to have in the shower - tried to have a shower this morning and got dizzy and felt really ill after not too long of standing up!! Managed to haul myself upstairs this morning after asking the advice of my one legged friend of how he manages to wriggles his way up the stairs! not something i can do everyday by all means, but maybe every 2 or 3 days!

managed about 3hrs of broken sleep last night, watched lots of films!!

scotsgirl - let us know how your appointment has gone, really hope your getting what you need

I think I may have to resort to violence!

We drove all the way out there (20 miles each way), called in and it wasn't even the chuffing consultant! The guy who I saw (some sort of junior doctor) basically said he'd been given a message to pass on that I was to see someone else and to book an appointment for wednesday! No discussion, nothing, just punted on. I had to explain to this guy why an epidural wasn't a solution. I'm not sure he even knows what SPD is - "it's basically just pain, yes, so just have an epidural then"

I'm so upset - they aren't listening or discussing anything with me at all. I'm 39 weeks tomorrow, and still they are dragging this out.

What a pain scotsgirl. Sometimes I think doctors think we can just drop everything to hang out with them. Grrr.

Looloo, i'm due in a fortnight. I'm still reasonably mobile as long as i don't do anything! I had a weekend at home with husband away and 2 boys to look after. I was doing fine (soft play with a carpark. brilliant) until the 3 year old fell asleep at the kitchen table and I had to carry him up 28 stairs to his bedroom. something definitely 'went' on the way up. ouch. next day was agony!

Hope you're all doing ok. I'm hoping for an easy birth with my pelvis not putting up too much of a fight!

Can I just say that doen here they actually seem to encourage you to have a water birth with SPD as it apparently does less damage to the ligaments. It's obvious when you think about it.

The thing about SPD is that if there is a life or death situation, you probably could leap (or probably flop) out of a pool. It's just that you will feel pretty damaged for a while afterwards. So I am not sure midwives really understand the condition and the fact that the legs still work but the brain is sending out pretty intense pain signals all the time.

I was very lucky and had a very helpful, kind consultant that coulnd't do enough to help (once my MP had waded in to get me some sympathy, but that's another story).