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[pumpkinpureeandghostlypearls]

I am suffering SPD (for the second time) and just need to vent without driving everyone else on my pregnancy thread mental. Not that they aren't supportive but I still have 20 weeks to go and I don't want to ruin their pregnancies by talking about mine!

Please come and join me so I don't feel so alone, and feel free to share tips if you have any....

Hi

I always like to pop on here and see how everyone is doing.

Just to let you all know that my daughter is now 9 days old and I'm now wlaking again... I managed to get to mothercare and do a couple of te Isles in Tesco... Im tired out by it. But finally the wheelchair has been taken out of the back of the car and replaced by a travel system.

I dot want to sound OTT..but sometimes I feel I need som type of cunselling for the awful pregnancy I had... I look at my baby and feel robbed of what should have been and how crap and awful it all turned out to be in the end...

Sorry newbies.. this isnt giving you much hope.

All I can say is. I love my daughter.. and was so scared we wouldnt bond and we do.... SPD is scarey.. dibilitating. frustrating.. unheard of... uncared about and bloody awful and I feel everyones pain...

Sending all those women out there in pain with pillows inbetween their legs.. hot water botles on their pelvis's lots and lots of love. (smile).

Fetax

feta I know what you mean about feeling like you need counselling. My first pregnancy was such a traumatic experience - such a shock and SO different to what I had imagined. Having been a relatively active person before, months in a wheelchair, isolated from all the "normal" experiences that are supposed to go with becoming a parent, putting on so much weight, losing all my previous fitness, losing my confidence in the most basic areas - it was pretty grim.

BUT.. I had my beautiful baby girl. And the joy of the little changes: the first time I walked withut crutches, the first time I went out in the car on my own with my baby - I appreciated all of it given how grim I had imagined my future might be.

The things that made the big difference for me were starting weekly pilates classes, and losing 3 stone! I was intently focused on doing whatever I had to do to make another baby a realistic possibility. And now I am pregnant again and have made it to 21 weeks so far without any seriously agonising episodes. I have surprised the physio and the consultant, as everyone is expecting the worst. I know the hard part is yet to come, but in a way this second pregnancy is like I am telling the SPD that it cannot beat me. Not sure if that is psychologically healthy or not, but (for today at least) I feel happy about where I have got to after how low things were two years ago.

You have achieved an amazing thing and you should be so proud of that. I am a great believer in setting goals to help me out when I am feeling low so maybe that's something to think about? I have also heard that all hospitals offer a debrief on request if you have had a particularly traumatic time - talking through why certain decisions were made, etc. Maybe worth looking at?

And keep coming back to tell us how things are going. I for one really appreciate it.

x

Thanks for popping in Feta- it really does help to know that there will be an end some day soon! I certainly felt like you last tme round, and by the time I started thinking I should do something about iut, I suddenly started really enjoying her. I think sometimes there's a lot to deal with when a baby arrives: you have so much to learn about taking care of them and being a mum and dealing with how your labour went. And that's all before you've had a chance to process your SPD. Before you've had a chance to mourn a pregnancy that wasn't as straightforward as it should have been; a chance to get over the guilt of trying to hurry birth to make yourself feel better. It really is a bigger deal than people realise. So take your time, but if you still feel like this in a couple of weeks (once you are fully getting out and about) then I'd speak to yout GP or HV. I actually ended up with PND last time, totally unrelated to the SPD, but needed the time to do all the processing before i could work out what was wrong with me.

God, I sound miserable for a Monday. Waiting for MW visit and a new chair to arrive(bought in Laura Ashley sale but will be fab to sit in with SPD as it's an old-fashioned high-back affair.....)

Hi there girls,

I just had a question for those more experienced SPD sufferes amongst us. At 16 weeks until 7 days ago (20 weeks) - I was in hospital, was totally immobilised...using a wheelchair and if lucky a zimmerframe. I was on a morphine drip. I had a nerve block procedue that seems to help a little but not a lot. I also am doing physio once a week.

However, I am now really mobile the last 7 days - i still get twinges but i can walk again, drive again, pick up my 10mth old again. I am delighted but so scared....is this just a blip and should I expect/be prepared for severe SPD to return? Is it just a movement of hormones

Has this happened to anyone else? I know its a good complaint but wanted to ask - thanks so much

Hi there girls,

I just had a question for those more experienced SPD sufferes amongst us. At 16 weeks until 7 days ago (20 weeks) - I was in hospital, was totally immobilised...using a wheelchair and if lucky a zimmerframe. I was on a morphine drip. I had a nerve block procedue that seems to help a little but not a lot. I also am doing physio once a week.

However, I am now really mobile the last 7 days - i still get twinges but i can walk again, drive again, pick up my 10mth old again. I am delighted but so scared....is this just a blip and should I expect/be prepared for severe SPD to return? Is it just a movement of hormones

Has this happened to anyone else? I know its a good complaint but wanted to ask - thanks so much

Can someone experienced in such things answer a question please?

I'm 38 weeks and feel like SPD is killing me. I have a GP appointment on Weds with a GP who at 36 weeks said that he didn't want me to go over my due date (last time I was induced at 41 plus 6) due to the amount of pain I am in.

Do I have grounds for asking to be induced earlier?

Hello

Baby0909 - sorry I do not have a clue to help you with your query sorry...

watercress - At 37 weeks I begged for an earlier c-section date.. cried and begged and explained how it was ruining my life and I was worried about bonding with my daughter.. and I got what I wanted...

I know 7dw did similar so I think you need to play that card...

HOWEVER - my daughter ended up in SCBU wth feeding issues and I can tell you I sat by her incubator crying and crying that if only I had waited till she was ready maybe this would never have happened...
I was assured by staff this wasnt the case and my DH assured me that at the end of the day the decsion was down to the DRS and consultant...

Watercress and everyone else... SPD is awful.. and my problem now is rushing things,, I had an end in sight.. I had a c section date and I wanted my life back after... My DD is now 11 days old and I tried to walk round town today.. although its fab Im walking and no longer in a wheelchair I couldnt walk like I wanted to... so frustrating..

take care all

baby0909- no experience of this but bloody hell, if it's working, that's brilliant!!

watercress- totally plead your case with the consultant for an early delivery. Feta and 7dw got c-sections. I had an induction at 38 weeks last time and am booked in for the same this time. Make your point as firmly as possible....really focus on the emotional issues: how you can't cope, worry you'll hate the baby, have no/limited support, cry lots etc and get the mw to back you up if poss. Good luck.

Thanks for your answers and support. I (stupidly) did a MN search last night to find out what people had said about this issue in the past and the answers included the following:

• don't go early, your body won't be ready
• go early, it'll relieve the SPD
• SPD means an easier labour
• SPD means a harder labour
• don't go for induction as there is a higher chance of intervention, hence epidural and long-term problems, so C-section is better
• don't have a section as your stomach muscles are keeping you up in lieu of your pelvis.

All terribly confusing!

Personally, I went over last time and ended up being induced with lots of intervention (epidural, ventouse, third degree tear), so I'm prepared (as much as I can be) for the same to happen this time. I didn't do a birth polan last time, but am doing so this time if only to list the problems I had last time and this time during pg. The info on this thread has been incredibly helpful.

I'm so sorry that people have gone early and then regretted it because their babies have ended up in SCBU, but my feeling is that I'm already 38 weeks so even if they agree, it'll be 39 weeks before I go in. So hopefully that won't happen.

It's so difficult to know what to do for the best, but I'm just in so much pain and struggling with my three year old DD. I so admire those of you who have had SPD before and then go onto another pregnancy.

Sorry, very long post. But thank you for your help and support.

Glad it was helpful Watercress. FWIW if I could have had an ealier induction I'd have taken it and not felt a moment's guilt: I had an epidural and ventouse last time and would be happy to have the same again (hoping I will have the epidural quite frankly). It's about your health as well as the baby's. And my daughter is now 20 months old and showing no ill effects of being forced out early!!

Thanks pureeandpearls!

My DD also shows no sign of being bothered about having being pulled out with a vacuum cleaner on her head, so I'm not too worried about that! Can I just ask what you mean on your birth plan when you refer to having a ventouse delivery in a lateral position?

I copied and pasted from an old MN thread! basically means lying on your side (apparently they can do it) although I do have to say that I had it the traditional way last time and didn't suffer any long term damage. I think I'll be slower to recover this time (plus I know what my options are, what I'm doing, and am prepared to be a LOT more assertive.) so I'm trying to cover all bases.

Another question - sorry if I'm being intrusive and feel free to tell me to go away, but it's just so nice to be able to pick the brains of someone who had a similar experience to mine but with SPD: did you recover quickly from the SPD? Or did the epidural and ventouse delivery cause any problems?

I was fine last time (apart from the tear, which is a whole different story and MN thread!), but didn't have SPD going into the delivery, hence the questions.

I left hospital with a zimmer but was walking up and down stairs comfortably within 24 hours of being home, so 48 hours post-birth (and we had a LOT of stairs in the last house!), left the house with pushchair the following day and took pushchair on the train on day 10 so fairly quickly, I think. It took about nine months for the solid core stability to come back. I had a physio referral after DD was born and saw physio until 3 months when she said I could do regular exercise (as if!) The one thing I was never allowed to do (which did upset me a bit) was carry her in a baby carrier (Baby Bjorn thing) as that affected my weight distribution and therefore my mobility and greatly increased chance of accident and injury.

Reading back that all sounds depressing and slow and not at all encouraging, but i genuinely never felt that way if you see what I mean. I was out and about pushing her around after three days. I just had to take it extra easy until my hips felt solid, but no more than if you had a bad birth experience, or c-section or enforced bed rest for some reason.

Pick away- happy if I can offer any info that is useful.

Thanks PandP. It's really reassuring (not depressing at all) to hear your account (though I too would be very sad if I couldn't use my baby carrier as I used it until DD was nearly a year - I live on a hill and the quickest way to get anywhere is by paths with steps, which are not pram friendly).

I'm not banking on anything, but I feel well-prepared for my GP appointment tomorrow, and am taking DH with me for support (physical and emotional). The GP will be the first person I have seen more than once during this pregnancy, so it will be nice to have some continuity if nothing else.

I'll let you know how I get on.

And thanks again for starting this thread. I may not have posted much, but have followed it with great interest and have taken so much from it that has helped me cope.

Hi all. Have been to see the Physio a couple of weeks ago and she has told me that there is no way I can go back to work before the baby is born. I'm now signed off. I'm only 23 weeks!!

I am bored and I feel like shit to be honest. It's funny how you don't appreciate things until they are gone. I realise now just what I take for granted.

All people keep saying to me is "enjoy doing nothing while you can because once the baby is born...". They have no f*cking idea.

I have to sleep on the sofa now as my bed is too hard and it's agony turning over.

I'm stuck in this house day in day out and to be truthful I feel a bit abandoned. None of my RL friends bother to come and see me or even ask how I am. Just a text would be nice but nothing. Thank god for my DH, who is a saint and does the housework, cooking when I can't and sorts out the DC's too. He's just like my only friend at the moment.

I'm glad that for those of you who have had your babies that the SPD is on the mend

Glad I could help watercress and hope your appointment goes well.

Waves to 7dw and her lovely baby! How are you gettting on?

Mampam- I stopped work at 24 weeks. It makes the pregnancy seem very long and is very frustrating and I spent a lot of time feeling low. Feel free to email me if you need: ahelpinghand at inbox dot com, and speak to your midwife if you are at all concerned about anything...it's very easy to get depressed and that will just add to your issues. It's tough too if you don't have a support network. I was very isolated last time as I knew no-one locally and had no friends with children. This time I have local friends and quite a few wwith kids who, even if they don't understand, are good enough to visit regularly and ask if I need anything. I can't remember if this is your first, I'm afraid. Your DH sounds like an angel. I'd certainly look around for support online...even if you are just typing out your frustrations, it's better than nothing. I am thinking of you xx

Thanks 7DW. Very reassuring to hear these tales. I am still able to walk but so slowly and only just, and by the end of the day I'm ruined. I'm on as much paracetamol as I can take (previous issues mean I am very reluctant to take opiates), and wear my belt all day and a Tens machine in the evening, but last night I literally got stuck at the bottom of the stairs, unable to put weight on either leg and with my arms too tired to crawl (not helped by BH contractions). After 15 minutes I made it (had to text DH to rescue me as he had already gone upstairs), but it has made me realise that while just last week I was having good and bad days, now I am having only bad ones. My 3yo DD has been in chidcare the last three days and I am dreading having her on my own the next two (not that she's difficult, just that I'm worried about coping).

But Mampam, my situation sounds nothing compared to yours. I think when you go on maternity leave (whether early or late), people do forget about you and you only become "interesting" again once you have had the baby. I left work about a month or so ago (as planned) and have been quite lonely. Is there an antenatal group you can get to? The NCT runs bumps and babes groups that pg mums are welcome at, if there is one near you? And have you got family who could come down and visit for a few days? My mum came last week and it was great.

Mampam, I meant to say in my previous post - sleeping on the sofa sounds like hell on toast. Can you get a memory mattress topper for your bed? I have a memory mattress and it has made a world of difference from my last pg, when I suffered with really bad backache (though no SPD). This time it has been an absolute godsend.

Thanks guys. I do feel totally abandoned by my friends and whilst I've got lots of time on my hands and I don't sleep very well, I'm tired and emotional and probably think about things too much. Just a text once in a while from my friends to let me know they are thinking of me would suffice but nothing. My mum lives only a few miles away but we don't get on if we spend too much time in each others company!!

Watercress I too feel like I've gone from having good days and bad days and it feels like since the weekend every day has been a bad one.

There are no NCT groups in this area, it's very rural where I live and the nearest town is very small. When I go for my next MW appointment at 25 weeks I'll find out if there are any local groups I could join. I'm not overly great at making new friends but I'm going to try really hard.

Yes I've been signed off until the end of my pregnancy but I've actually been signed off work since the end of October. I had severe Hyperemesis and was in bed for 2 months.

I've looked at a foam mattress topper but I don't think I can afford to buy a decent one. Money, the other big hinderance in my life.

Thank you all for being so kind to me. I'm feeling very down at the moment and can feel myself going down the slippery slope of depression that I had in my last PG with DS. It's hard not to wallow when there's nothing else to do!!

mampam Don't despair, we are here for you. Your situation sounds very much like my last pg (and possibly how this one may end up too). We live in a very small village and I can very much relate to feeling trapped. Other people think that because they enjoyed a couple of days cooped on the sofa once when they had a cold it must be a breeze - but that is VERY differnt to months of it. Even an outing in the car to the shops with DH was a huge thing for me.

There are definitely things you can do. Last time we ended up going to a forest concert and we got disabled parking and access to the special wheelchair area. It felt amazing to be out doing something normal without too much pain. Can you plan a couple of outings where you know the transport and facilities will make it possible? It sure beats staring at the same four walls. And please come on here and moan to us any time you need to.

HELLO

Mampam and watercress.. Im so sorry to hear about your ain and unhappiness...

I know exactly what watercress means about becoming interesting again once you've had the baby infact in my own head I've only allowed the people that actually helped me when I had the SPD came round and gave me their time and patience to come and visit my DD... I still feel a bit angry about the rest.

I also got angry at people asking me stupid things like did I want to go swimming.. or out other places.. i wouldnt have been able to walk from the car to the pool.

I agree with ponymum about normal things.. did you know most supermarkets offer the free use of a wheelchair. and the security guards normally help you clip a trolley on. Not exactly exciting u it gets you out and some normality.. I used to look forward to trip round the supermarket and lunch in the cafe after...

I also know how watercress feels about leaving her DD in childcare.. I was so bad I couldnt look after my daughter solo at all. She was either at nursery or someone helped me with her.. my family came up and my DH took a holiday day off work every day for the last few weeks.

My memory foam matress has been a godsend to me...but also hot water bottles...

Are any of you guys on facebook? I joined some SPD support grops on that and had live chats with people just like me stuck at home...

Although I had loads of time on my hands I couldnt concentrate on TV much or really concentrate on reading a book... too much pain.

Im sending all you guys lots of love... Its a long time to wait and so frustrating but you will get there.... and it will be worth it at the time... although there were many occasions I began to wonder if it was...

xxxx