Please tel me baby boys are wonderful!

[VanillaIce]

Hello, I've just found out we're having a boy! I'm a litte bit shocked. I think I felt it was a girl. Today when I was out I kept seeing little girls with their mothers and feeling a tiny bit wistful that I wasn't having one. Is this awful? The thing is, I actually kind of thought having a boy would be cool and a bit different (it's all girls in my family) and I thought it would be lovely for my DH. Now I'm panicing that I know nothing about little boys (all sisters and only the one boyfriend - whom I married!) whereas I know lots about little girls.

Am I being very silly? I think I am. I also think I'm just the kind of fool who would have wished for a boy if I'd been told it was a girl. Maybe this is why people shouldn't know in advance!

I think I might just be a bit emotional. I could barely speak during the scan with the huge lump in my throat and the tears rolling down my cheeks. I actually had to hold my breath to stop myself from crying audibly when the sonographer showed me his perfect little arms and legs and wiggling bottom. I found it completely overwhelming and so I think feeling a bit down tonight is just those pesky hormones and also the sheer relief that all is well with our first LO.

Anyone who doesn't think I'm crazy, can you remind me why baby boys are wonderful?

Little boys are gorgeous - cuddly and giggly and silly and wonderful, and much less high-strung and tantrummy than a lot of the little girls I know. I've got the bet little boy ever, and if I had the choice for no. 2 I'd definitely want another boy. Plus their toys are more fun.

Hiya.
I found out what I was having so I could get prepared if it was a boy. I really wanted a girl. It was a boy, as I suspected and I felt really bad for being disappointed initially. I know it doesn't matter really and health is the only thing that should matter, but you can't help how you feel at the time. It took me about two days to get used to the idea. Two and half years on and I wouoldn't change it for the world. When we have number two I'll be as happy with another boy as a girl. They're brilliant fun and what you see is what you get. I'm a Reception teacher and come to think of it, my all time favourite kids have all been boys. Girls are briliant too, mind, but you'll fall in love with your little man and just keep going. The only downside with boys is that the clothes aren't as nice, but maybe that's for the best too; means you spend less!

On a silly but practical level, boys are great because they come with a built-in poo dam. I've got one of each and all I can say is with girls it goes everywhere, it's much easier changing a boy's nappy!

And yes, DS is also adorable and cuddly.

When I found out I was having a boy, I had a few minutes of uncertainty before starting to get excited. Now that he's here I couldn't imagine life any other way. He is the most delicious, cuddly, cheery, cheeky fellow, I just yum him up every day because he's so irresistible.

It's true that you fall in love with your baby, not your boy or girl (iyswim). But I am happy to confirm to you that boys rock Congratulations, you will have so much fun!

Yes boys all love their mums more than girls do.

Girls are bitchy, tantrummy and independent

Girls insist you buy expensive handbags for them.

Boys only like trains and dinosaurs.

Boys make a lot of mess and climb on everything.

Are you raising children or stereotypes?

OP, when I was pg I was a little disappointed about the gender but soon realised that it was the odd situation of knowing only one thing about my child and frankly it was something arbitrary. The gender does not tell you the child you will have:

Right, my child, M...

M loves dinosaurs, trains, tractors, dressing up, reading, running around insanely, climbing, singing, swimming, cooking, digging in the mud, fairies, worms, hide and seek. Just a small list.

M tells me how much s/he love me all the time, cuddles spontaneously, curls up in my arms and goes to sleep, plays with my hair, tells me s/he wants to marry me.

M also gets ridiculously excited when Daddy gets home from work, s/he is marrying Daddy too btw. Daddy is cuddled and loved as much as me.

Today M is wearing dirty-kneed trousers, a t-shirt with bugs on it and sandals. M has several leaves and twigs in his/her hair.

Obviously M is a girl.

Or obviously M is a boy.

Gender, physiology, hormones etc, yes it all makes a difference but tbh you will love and adore your baby for being your baby who is a ridiculous and brilliant combination of you and his Dad, plus a few things that will utterly, utterly surprise you. While gender will inform some things as your child grows, it makes no guarantees and promises no particular outcomes.

Can I also throw in here that DH has a brother and a sister. BIL is a professional ballet dancer. SIL plays rugby for England.

Gender, schmender. Congratulations on your child.

I had two girls, then a five year gap and little DS came along. I was convinced he would be another girl, and I've had girls all up my line of the family. After the scan, I was in shock for a few days but now he's here, he's absolutely wonderful and I'm besotted with him. Babies are just gorgeous no matter what and you'll be so in love with him when he arrives it won't matter

ShowofHands ... I'm not one for gender stereotyping at all... I have always tried very hard not to have any expectations of my DS, and in fact didn't have any because I'd only ever known baby girls. I encourage him in his love of dinosaurs, lego, pink, sewing, climbing, picking flowers, baking, singing - whatever he enjoys, and he loves all these.

One thing I was not expecting was how very affectionate and caring he is and tbh if I'd been asked I would have assumed those would be seen as girl traits.

Yet one of the major differences I've observed that applies to all the small boys and girls I know is that boys are more affectionate and open and cuddly, they are far more likely to have comfort blankets, they are far more often seen hugging and kissing their mum (and others). It's something very obvious and also obvious that many people on here have experienced it too. Of course it doesn't mean that ALL boys and girls fit this. But that doesn't mean it's not true either.

What I would say of the girls I know is that they have greater emotional intelligence and understanding of what makes people tick than boys of the same age. I know many 3 and 4yo girls who know how to compliment another girl politely, enact adult relationships, or have a dramatic sulk. The boys I know do not do that, they don't seem to know how to.

I was one who thought all gender differences were down to socialisation - but it really doesn't seem so.

I fully acknowledge that gender makes a difference, of course it does and I stated this previously. What riles me is the expression of this and the way in which we reassure expectant and new mothers.

Because 'little boys really love their mummies', 'boys love their mummies heaps and tons'. Well bravo that they do, I'm sure that is true but the hidden negatives of those statements are 'boys love their mummies more than girls' which sounds to mothers of girls and to expectant fathers like a rather sad prospect.

For example, I read on MN sometimes that 'a boy is yours until he gets a wife, a girl is yours for life' and I certainly see a lot of anti-MIL threads and I see many grown women who are better at being in touch with parents than their male siblings but this little adage is a damaging and negative thing.

I suppose what I'm trying to say in my waffly and convoluted way is by all means celebrate boys and their traits but be careful not to compare negatively to girls in order to achieve this. Same the other way round.

Statments like 'dh and I thought thank God we don't have girls when we saw the price of a handbag' or 'I'm glad I have girls, I don't like mess' are not celebrating the joys of one gender but criticising the perceived failings of another. And that saddens me.

I had a dd first and was sure i wanted a 2nd dd. I got my gorgeous ds and I don't think i could love him anymore than I do. I adore him so much, he loves me and is so so mummified!!!

Honestly, baby boys are wonderful!!!

ShowofHands, I whoeheartedly agree (as I sort of implied in my previous post...)

Yes, there may be differences generally between 'typical' boy and 'typical' girl, but as all of us fit somewhere along the spectrum, why does it even matter? Am a little sick of people saying that 'it's because ds is a boy that he does xyz' and dd gets no credit for having great social skills, really sweet and sharing (and a hell of a lot better than most of her female friends) because she is a girl . She is also obsessed with climbing, fairies and conkers at the moment. So far, so individual.

Boys and girls can be creative, caring, smart and funny- and that's what is important! So congrats again x

I think one thing that has happened is from a position of once being the favoured gender, the baby that everyone hoped for (as they still are of course in many societies), in western culture it's reversed and boys are often labelled as trouble or hard work or too energetic, and many women especially hope that they will have a girl - I know I did, for woolly reasons like I would be able to relate to her better or do girl things together or some such.

So when someone says please reassure me that boys are great, all us mums of boys come enthusing out of the woodwork to defend boys because they so often seem a bit maligned.

Do totally take your points though Show.

I had one of each and they were both adorable, they were both cuddly, they were both cheeky, they could both be boisterous on occasion, and they both love their Mummy (at least some of the time)

I have one of each. DS is now 7. He was a gorgeous placid chilled-out baby, still likes a hug occasionally and is generally fab. Boys' nappies are way easier to change too, less foldy bits for the poo to work their way into

Are baby boys wonderful? Mine is. Very gorgeous, affectionate, funny.

And something I kept telling myself both times I was pregnant was it is not like you instantly get given a random little boy/girl who you have to deal with. you have YOUR baby, who inititally doesn't really show any gended traits (iyswim). You get to know that little persont - that little soul who is your child, and you love them for who they are not what gender they are. You learn how to deal with their little quirks as you go along.

I promise!

Im actually filling up thinking about this (PG hormones) and reading the answers!
Ive not been able to take my eyes off my little boy today (you will have these days, lots of them).
I too wanted a little girl and could only find girls cute. Boys to me, weren't that cute, boring clothes and generally noisey and annoying little creatures. Imagine my heart sinking when doc proclaimed 'it's a boy'.
Don't spend another second worrying about it, you have no idea what is about to hit you !
In my humble opinion....im staring at my 2 yr old boy today, with his sandy blonde hair, rosey cheeks and huge blue eyes and I can't believe how gorgeous he is. Wearing a very cute little jumper from gap which I love. He has told me in the region of 20 times today 'luff you mummy' and cuddled the life out of me. Im so proud of him and now im 25 weeks PG and worrying that I can't possibly love another child the same as I do my boy. Ive even thought, what if it's a girl, she'll be so different from my DS and that can't be a good thing!!
At the moment he is in his little PJ's, cuddled into his daddy's side holding peter rabbits ears and getting his peter rabbit story (again). Adorable, wouldn't change him for anything. You wait!

i have two boys who are perrrrrrrrrffffffeeeeeecccctttttttttttt!!!!
i have found them both to be very laid back and calm.
watch out at change time, remember to duck lol! xxxxxxxxxx

I know exactly how you feel. I was wishing for a girl, because, hey, same parts, I'm a girl - I'll sort of know what I'm doing. Found out after amnio that we were having a boy - I remember feeling quite shocked and stunned: "OMG, it's a boy!" (But more relieved than I could ever explain that he was ok.)
I felt really quite wistful seeing baby girl clothes - soooooooo cute - and a bit scared ("what do I know about boys??").

But my boy is the best thing that ever happened to me (except DH, of course). A girlfriend told me before he was born that "little boys just looooooooooooooove their mamas", and it's so true. He is the cuddliest, sweetest little thing ever. Also, I somehow think now that I'm a better boy's mum than I would be a girl's mum... I don't know why I say that but I think it's because little girls seem whinier to me. And I'm not a girly-girl... so maybe having a boy to roughhouse with is, after all, what I needed?

Don't feel bad about thinking those thoughts and being a bit disappointed. You're entitled to grieve the loss of your dream of a little girl (and who knows, you may have one yet if you have more babies). But once your little boy is born, you'll probably think "why did I think I wanted anybody but exactly you?"

Boys can be lovely - mine is anyway! I love putting him in little cord dungarees and watching crash his trucks around. He's squidy and funny and delumptious. (pic on profile )
Congratulations!

And so it continues...

Hello, I am one of three girls and throughout my entire pregnancy was convinced that I was having a girl. Boys just seemed so alien! When the baby arrived and the midwife told me it was a boy, I was shocked. But then he opened up his big blue eyes and looked up at me and I just thought, 'he's perfect'. He is 6 months now and my heart's delight.

Showofhands I think you only need to read the thread about 8 year old boys in changing rooms to see how reviled male children seem to be these days. Proto-paedos if you read that thread, from which precious girls need protecting. It is sickening. Can't we have one little corner to celebrate our lovely sons?

I don't think anyone is suggesting that boys are better than girls, not one bit. Most of these posts talk about how alien the thought of a male child is when you are a woman. I certainly worried about relating to my son before he was born.

I am sure that if I had had a daughter instead of a son she would have loved me and I would have loved her just as much as DS and I love each other. But he's what I've got, I'm bloody lucky and yes, it does come as a bit of surprise that the stereo types are true, and he calls me his "darling mummy" and says "I love you so much".

I will repeat. It is not the celebration of boys, it's the maligning of girls. I would feel exactly the same way if the situation was reversed.

"little girls seem whinier to me"

"Most mums who have both sexes tell me their boys are much more loving"

"Boys love their mummies, need I say more"

"They are so much more affectionate, take longer to get devious and even then aren't very good at it, and when they start to think they're spiderman / ben 10 etc it seems much healthier than barbie"

"they are so much more affectionate to their lovely mummy"

"they're far less complicated and stroppy than girls IMO!!"

"Dh and I looked at each other and thanked our lucky stars we have 2 boys"

Just a couple of quotes from this thread.

It's brilliant to celebrate how wonderful children are and lovely to talk about all your smashing little boys and how much you love them but what's happening at the same time is people are setting up an unfavourable comparison. It is that I take issue with. If I was a mother expecting a little girl and I read this thread, I'd feel quite upset because there's an implication that girls are whiny, devious pink-lovers who don't show affection to their mothers as much as a boy would. Now, the OP is concerned and many others have been concerned because of the ridiculous and unfair stereotypes that get bandied about, as you rightly assert. So of course have a thread to discuss the reality of having boys but for goodness' sake don't resort to comparing unfavourably to the opposite gender to illustrate your point or you're just doing the same thing you worried about in the first place.

Boys are great.

Girls are great.

The end.

SOH - the original point of this thread was to give the OP some comfort that having a boy wasn't that bad; hence the bias.