hormonal rant!! Aaaaarrrgghhhhhh!! long!

[maybebaby23]

Hi guys,

Sorry about this but its getting so annoying i need some ideas of what to say to DF's gran. Don't get me wrong she is lovely, and none of his family are interested in DD or me but gran is always asking after us and buying DD nice things each week. She really is lovely and would do anything for us at the drop of a hat.

But she can be so damn insensitive she compares me and my pregnancy to her DD's. (DF's mums sister) Her DD had 2 huge, 10lb baby boys. My DD1 was only 7lb and i had a really neat small bump same as this time (well it was/is big to me!) So gran couldn't help commenting every single time she saw me that i don't even have a bump, don't look pregnant etc. She is doing this again. However this time she is looking over me and at DF saying "oohhh she hasn't got much of a bump has she" Now i may be over reacting here but it is driving me crazy, why comment every single time she lays eyes on me??? I just say the same thing over and over, "well its growing nicely and it IS big for me" Just getting boring now. I think she may have picked up on my feelings (hurray at last!) because her last comment on sunday was "well i can see you are putting weight on everywhere else, so i can tell you are preggy" that is even worse!! I saw red, had to leave the room. She is not saying it to upset me i really do believe she just doesn't realise. I can't help feeling upset and mad at her though!

What can i say to these comments? I really cant tell her she is upsetting me because i KNOW she doesn't mean it like that. And i have a feeling im over reacting?! I just need something i can say, a subtle hint. I am not very good at hiding my pissed off face lol.

The fun really starts when baby is born i know from last time..gran seems to think baby needs winding the whole time she is on grans knee and instead of gently rubbing my tiny 7lb baby's back she really bashed it over and over again!!!! Because her DD's babys were huge and chunky so presumably needed more winding!! Horrid, she just used to sit there bashing my babys back the whole time she held her despite me hovering over her insisting that my baby doesn't need winding....i used to get so upset about it. dont get me started on her waking baby up by shaking the pram/cooing loudly over/pulling blankets off her so she would wake and then she could pick her up....I think i will be able to pluck up the courage to tell gran not to wind her so hard or wake her up but i need help with these comments while im pregnant!

HELP ME...sorry about this rant! Thanks for reading!

Just wanted to say, you are doing well to be putting up with the comments. I don't know what is up with some people and why they feel they have to make comments on bumps, well nice comments are ok! I have a neighbour who kept saying I was massive (and I'm not), and would say it with a hint of disgust in her voice. I actually had to say in the end, that I'm fed up with people giving me their thoughts on my bump size and I'm growing at a healthy rate, she hasn't commented since. I'm sure your DF's gran is very old school and doesn't think (like my elderly family members) she causes offence. Hope you get over this hurdle without it upsetting you both, it will all be over soon enough

i have noticed that old people seem to lose the ability to maintain tact. It is like some kind of degenerative thing. I have seen it in my own mother and in my monster in law. They went from normal middle aged women to with the onset of pensioner status women who for some reason felt entitled to say whatever they wanted to whoever they wanted and were/continue to be completely baffled by any adverse reaction.

I know it is difficult but you have to let it roll of your back. It is not a judgement of you when she says thing like that.

As for the winding thing, i would be quite upset too. perhaps you could adopt her tactlessness and just straight out tell her that your babies are much more delicate than hers were and she needs to be more careful.

Dont envy you though!

Thanks for your replies! It is so true that some older people lose the ability to maintain tact!! Fruitpastels, sorry you have had this from your neighbour as well...i would never comment on anyones bump, i just dont feel the need to! I should ask DF's gran exactly how big i should be at this stage of my pregnancy, seeing as she seems to be the expert!