Oh no! Not on NCT class.

[Heebiejeebie]

My first baby is due in 5 weeks and have been happily booked on weekend NCT class since April. So I thought. Hadn't heard anything for a while, so emailed the organiser yesterday and got a reply saying that they hadn't got my cheque, the space had been given to someone else and the course was now full. I've got to have a Caesarian anyway, but was really relying on the 'what to actually do with a baby', breastfeeding session and meeting people bits. I don't know anyone locally with a small baby and am already really anxious about what on earth I'm going to do with myself.

Any suggestions? Feeling pretty sorry for myself - have been dismally imagining myself lonely and failing to breastfeed in a grim cafe whilst crowds of glossy, supported NCT best friends sweep past on their way to somewhere fun.

1 join in with any of your local NCT groups - they do coffee mornings - some are 'bumps and babes' so you can go while you're still pregnant. Someone local will have all the details so go back to the organiser you spoke to.

2 talk to your midwife about NHS classes. You might get on some locally organised by your hospital.

3 read 'caesarean birth, your questions answered' (available from NCT online shop). Does what it says on the cover!

4 I love your last line! In fact, you'll be merrily feeding in a LOVELY coffee shop and there'll be some other lonely mum of a new-born just deperate to talk to another friendly-looking mum! And I'm sure you'll be the glossiest!!!

Good luck for the next few months.

Re: breastfeeding. Have a look online for local breastfeeding support. Any breastfeeding drop in groups out there will a) welcome you with open arms b) help you make new friends c) talk you through what you need to know, as long as the people running it aren't too busy. d) let you see Actual People Breastfeeding, in a relaxed environment.

Coffee mornings normally accept pregnant women.

I did a weekend NCT course. They mostly concentrated on the birthing process and not so much on the what to do with a baby. I think you just get on with that anyway when the time comes.

I had a c-section and one advantage of this was that the midwives helped me to breatfeed while still in hospital so we were doing fine by the time I was discharged. The midwives also showed us how to change a nappy and bath the baby, which was all we did in the NCT class.

The social thing you can do in other ways, classes when the baby is born etc. Do you want to say where you are and maybe there will be people on here who live near?

I joined an NCT class and the NHS classes. Found it a lot easier to keep in contact with some of the NHS girls as they were much more local than the NCT girls. Most of what you are told in the NCT classes you forget anyway. The most useful part of the NCT class was finding out about Clare Byam-Cook's DVD and book on breastfeeding. I also needed to see her privately and she was a lifesaver.

Lots of areas have NCT postnatal groups so have a look around. I only joined the NCT postnatally and made good friends.
Re the breastfeeding. There's a Central London La Leche League you could get in touch with. Find out where the leaders are. They'd be more than happy to see you at a meeting before baby arrives.
See what other groups are local to you and phone the national helplines and see if there are counsellors nearby who will do home visits. You can find the lactation consultants at www.lcgb.org.

Hello!

I did NCT classes first time round, 8 couples - there are now 12 who meet regularly, the others joined us through breastfeeding groups and via NHS classes (some did both) - so worth a look at both - I was very sceptical about how useful a breastfeeding group would be but found it invaluable - it was on a Friday morning and I'd really look forward to it.

Our clinic also ran new parent sessions - talk on a topic and plenty of time to mix afterwards - ask your MW if she can put you in touch with the health visitor - you'll meet them soon enough once baby comes along but it might set your mind at rest if you can find out now what's on offer.

Finally, I moved area when my DD was 8 months old so don't see my ante-natal group as much as I did (was at least once a week - now once every month or so) - the two closest friends I've met since were both through the local NCT Bumps and Babes coffee mornings - another nice easy morning to get you out of the house.

Oh, and might be worth seeing if you have a SureStart centre near you - even if there's nothing baby-specific they usually have drop in and play sessions and I imagine you'd be very welcome there.

Good luck!

Ohh don't worry, I'm sure it will be fine

If there is a Bumps & Babies session near you you should definitely go, you never know, you might meet up with the group of people you would have shared the course with anyway, it happened to our group, we all went to Bumps & Babies after the course ended so we'd keep in touch and one day a lady came along who'd had her baby 3 months early, she got chatting to a couple of the others from my group, because they had babies the same age as her DS' adjusted age, mentioned she had been booked onto the course and how disappointed she was to have missed it and we just adopted her straight into the group

Thank you everyone, you are all very kind and encouraging. The also very kind NCT organiser has emailed the person running the course to see if there is any chance of us being squeezed on. But you've given me lots of things to try if not. Feeling much less dismayed.