Pregnancy anxiety!!

[shellyk]

Prior to becoming pregnant I was a competent self assured woman with very little to be worried about. Now I am an 18 week pregnant wreck. I am worried about everything, today I even took another pregnancy test to see if I was still pregnant - I have had 3 scans which show the baby is fine! I am worried about not feeling pregnant, not feeling the baby, not being sick, having puffy feet (already) Is this normal and will I go back to being me!!!

Hi Shellk - this is so normal as you will see if you delve into the many different pregnancy threads. I was the same last time and am the same now (14 weeks with number2 - all medically fine with both but still find plenty to worry about!) I don?t think there is much you can do to stop you worrying (if you are anything like me). Just telling yourself that everything is fine and even medical evidence isn?t enough. To give you a few examples - I still check my pants for signs of bleeding every time I go to the loo, in fact I just have to be a little "damp" and sweaty (sorry) and I will rush to the loo just to check - and then feel stupid and terrible for giving in to paranoia! Any little twinge will spiral me into immediately feeling the worse. After 12 weeks of worrying about miscarriage that dies down to be overtaken about whether the baby has any abnormalities etc. etc. - it is endless!

I even found that reading up on every aspect of pregnancy to make myself feel more informed and in control didn?t work - just saw the risks and complications pages and found invisible symptoms for myself. Rather than try to stop worrying - accept that you are allowed to worry a bit and that it is really normal. Your body is doing an amazing thing and lets be honest - it is a little bit scary. However, at the same tiime try to remember that this is what your body is designed for and that it is coping really well so far.

I found that I would worry more when i was tired or stressed and used to resort to having lovely long soaks in a bath with plenty of expensive smellies - that helped. I also worried a lot last thing at night just before going to sleep and found that this led onto scary dreams and waking up feeling dreadful. I combatted this partly successfully by having a good supply of absorning books to read in bed. Things like yoga and pilates that relieve stress can be useful - it also makes you feel that you are doing something positive to help your body cope. If your mdiwfe/team of mdiwves have coffee mornings/evening classes etc. they are worth going along to as it is so reassuring to hear other peoples concerns as well - makes you feel less alone.

As for will you ever feel normal again - hmmm - yes you will feel in control of your life again but it could take a bit of time and a lot of positive thinking. The problem is that the worrying doesn?t go away - it is worth preparing yourself for the fact that the worrying tends to continue with a newborn - are they the right weight/temperature/sleeping enough/too little/crying normally/developing ok/ etc. etc. etc. - you just worry about different things! Sorry, but it is worth knowing that worrying seems to be part of the job of being responsible for this little person you are making. Saying that, it is all so worth it and the good times will weigh out the bad to such an extent. Believe me, I would not be going through this again (I hate being pregnant with a vengeance) if it wasn?t so rewarding and wonderful at the end of it all.
Another good way to get worries into perspective and just vent your concerns is to post on mumsnet - but i guess you know that already.

This sounds perfectly normal to me! I'm 18 weeks as well and at the moment I am completely paranoid that the baby will die without me realising it, and I have had about 10 scans!!! I thought I felt the baby kicking a couple of weeks ago (at 16 weeks) and I know that this CAN happen if you've already had a baby. Since then nothing so I'm freaking out, when I know its probably more likey I didn't feel the baby at all....

When I had my DD it didn't even occur to me that things could go wrong. Infact those chapter in the pregnancy books, 'when things go wrong' or 'complications' I'm not sure they were even there last time. This time they are all I have read, in fact the pages have even fallen out of one book.

I don't know why I'm focusing on everything that can go wrong. I think that last time I was quite naive, this time, wow this is a person coming not just some cute baby. Also having DD actually made me quite sick.

I think that this is quite normal, but as to going back to your previous self...wait and see you'll be up all night holding a mirror above the baby's face.

StripyMouse, I know what you mean about the wetness in your pants, I have been known to find some seemingly desserted aisle in the supermarket and stuff tissues down my pants and pull them out again to check for blood. DH pointed out that even if there weren't other people in the aisle they were probably having a good laugh in the security room.

Hi ShellyK ... I can relate to how you are feeling ... I lost the plot when I was pg with DS ... all the checking of knickers etc going on. I also used to have this recurring nightmare until I was about 6 months pregnant. I used to wake up having dreamt that I was supposed to take a pill everyday to keep the baby inside me and I had forgotten it ... A few times I was even up out of bed on the way to the bathroom to look for said pill!!!
Actually ... that reminds me of a dream I used to have after DS was born ... I used to dream that I had lost him in the duvet ... and DH would wake up and find me rummaging around at the bottom of the bed looking for the baby ... I should point out that we never had the baby in bed with us ... so I was totally barking in my DH's opinion!!
What you are feeling is totally normal ... Will you go back to being you? MMMMM ... that's a tough one ... yes you will, but you will be a new you!
My sister recently asked me the same question (when her daughter was about 4 months old) and this is the answer I gave her: Your life has changed beyond recognition and you find it hard to see how life will ever be the same again ... BUT eventually motherhood will take on a feeling of normality and you won't remember what you did with your life or time before you had a baby. And quite frankly you won't care because you won't be able to imagine life without your child.
HTH a bit ... and hope I haven't scared you!!
Enjoy your pregnancy and I wish you all the best!!