abortion

[OliviaGrace]

has anyone ever had an abortion and how has it affected u? do u regret it?

I had an abortion a few years ago. I was in a pretty bad way mentally, and could barely look after myself, let alone anyone else.
I made the decision, and for a while I was ok with it... i knew i had made the right decision. I did go through a really bad patch a few months later where I cried myself to sleep every night, and just felt so, so guilty for killing my baby.

Earlier last year I fell pregnant again. I had a miscarriage. It brought everything back and I felt like I was being punished for the termination I had before.

I fell pregnant once more a couple of months later, and now have a beautiful son.

I still think about that first baby (and the miscarried one), and wonder what they would have been like, etc etc... but I do believe that I did the right thing at the time. I don't regret it, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't make it terribly sad.

i was on the pill when i got pg same as weesaidie, so therefore i didnt have any reason to think i was pg, i must admit though prob around 6 months after the abortion i was desperate for a baby, i had only been with my now dp 6 mths when we discussed me coming off the pill, 6 mth later i was pg. all through my pg with dd i was so paranoid that something would go wrong or be wrong when dd was born, even after she was born i was convinced something bad would happen like cot death as a payback for what i had done with the abortion, the worst thing was that the abusive guy i was with actually wanted me to keep the baby (as he knew that would be it, total and utter control over me and our child but i went and moved back to england and back in with my parents, left the guy in amsterdam where we had moved to work there so the abortion was totally my decision....totally on my head, no one else.

I've never had an abortion, always been rather horrified by the idea of having one, and been paranoid about contraception and used emergency contraception several times. However, if it had been the wrong time, wrong man, wrong stage in life, I would have had one.
Also, while I was always pretty horrified at the thought of abortion for me, I don't see why having two is so terrible. Either you think it is a dreadful thing to do, or you don't.
And people also get upset about women using the MAP several times, and I have never understood that. Why ever not use it as contraception if you have sex infrequently? Makes sense to me.
And yes, I also have a friend with a MAP baby!

i had a abortion in my teens, i was too young, did'nt have a job or partner and it was the totally wrong time to have had a baby. But i have always deeply regretted it, and often think about what would have been, my child would have been 21 this year. I did'nt have my ds until i was 35, because i made sure i was carefull and ready for a child because i could'nt have gone thru an abortion again

can i just clarify that someone further down said they had a medical termination which involved an anaesthetic. This is in fact a surgical TOP. A medical TOP is with the tablets where you are fully awake, the pills induce a painful and brisk miscarriage. IMHO, it is much more emotionally scarring than the surgical route as you live through every awful second.

i have to add, that i couldnt do it again, with the abortion i had i was naive and didnt really know the ins and outs of what would happen etc, after going through it under no circumstances would i do it again...NO WAY! also to me (my opinion others may disagree) but i am no way religious in any shape or form, but i do feel that if there is anything after this life, for having a abortion once, i think i could be forgiven, everyone makes mistakes...but more than once i dont think i could live with myself. after having my abortion i tortured myself...big time. i looked at anti - abortion sites, looked up what my baby was like at 12weeks....the lot! i feel terrible enough for doing it once, mentally i coldnt do it again.

I had one 19 years ago. Interestingly enough the due date was one day after ds's. It is somehow comforting to me to think that the spirit of that little baby came baqck to me when ds was born.

It took about 10 years for me to come to grips with my abortion although I never doubted that it was the right thing to do at the time. Anyone who thinks that it is an easy decision is gravely mistaken.

I am frightened that one day the option will be taken away from American women and we will see the rise of back street abortions once again. I am thankful that I was able to have a safe, sterile procedure so that I could later have my wonderful ds.

twaddle, I never said it doesn't happen, just that it is very unlikely and can't account for the high number of terminations performed in britain. If the pill is 99% effective and the map is about 97% effective then the chance of both failing, provided you take them correctly is 0.03%... is that right? probably not, I'm crap at maths.

I'm not saying that I disagree with abortion, I think it would be terrible if it was made illegal, it just makes me sad that so many terminations are performed on pregnancies which could easily have been avoided.

I would personally never have an abortion, but then I would never use the map either.

I did aged 29 I had a 6yo ds and was single mum and the pregnancy was due to a rape by an previously close male friend.
I have no regrets although at first I did think I could keep the pregnancy going but it made me so ill and as it would have tied me to that cretin forever and I could not let it affect my son and future.

I'd just like to add that emergency contraception effectiveness drops to about 85% depending on when you take it. I didn't believe in condom failure until one split on me and I didn't believe the post coital pill I took afterwards would fail until I did the pregnancy test! (thanks to my GP telling me to wait until the Monday morning to take it).

I know many people are against emergency contraception on religious/moral grounds but it works in much the same way as the combined pill and the mini pill in preventing implantation (not just preventing ovulation). So if you believe life is sacred from sperm meeting egg you shouldn't use oral contraception or a coil either!

I'm going to sound really simple now but is that how the combined pill works? It prevents implantation???? I always thought it suppressed ovulation. I mean I know it's just a bundle of cells at that point but still ... it's a subtle difference isn't it.

I've taken the pill for years (not at the moment though) ... can't believe I never knew this.

The combined pill works in 3 ways and doctors really know how it works in everyone (they just know it does work!):

1. hormones help to suppress ovulation (releasing an egg)

2. they thicken cervical mucus to prevent the sperm meeting the egg and hence fertilisation

3. they affect the lining of the uterus to make it unfavourable and prevent implantation.

The mini pill contains only progesterone so works mainly in the 2 and 3 but it can also prevent ovulation.

The postcoital pill is a large dose of the mini pill (equivalent to 2 packets) and works in the same way. If you had already ovulated before unprotected sex the only way the PCC could work would be by preventing implantation. It would be too late to thicken your mucus or stop an egg!

sorry left a word out there - doctors don't really know how it works....

It's called evidence-based practice - you give 100 women the pill and 99 don't get pregnant therefore it works!

I've just dug out a figure from some research but can't find the reference (I do a lot of sexual health research for my job) I've found a figure of 27 ovulations per 100 women using the combined pill for a year resulting in 4 detected pregnancies. 23 presumably not happening because they didn't implant. Depending on your point of view on conception this is either nothing much or a very big deal (eg if you're Catholic). However, Catholics aren't supposed to any method but the rythmn (calendar) method according to my mother!

By the way my views on all of this are completely open-minded and non-judgemental, I'd just like women to be able to make informed choices.

Thanks Rachey - very interesting. Now you've spelt it out, I think I knew that's what it did but just never made the connection before - obviously been having a blonde day/14 years. Am clearly not a catholic either (isn't their position roughly that sex is for procreation therefore any attempts to stand in nature/god's way is wrong).

Am also open minded and pro-choice ... for the record!!!

I had one. Wrong man, wrong time in my life.

It was something I could never have imagined I would ever go through, but I was faced with the choice and this was the decision I made. I don't regret it, it was the right decision. But I do often think about it, more so since I became a parent.

My contraception failed. I was using Persona, and it had only just come onto the market. I was one of the first to get pregnant using it.