abortion

[OliviaGrace]

has anyone ever had an abortion and how has it affected u? do u regret it?

I myself have never had one but i do have a close friend who has had 2 abortions...

First pregnancy she had MC, 2nd abortion - reason becuase she had only been with her bf for 3 months she did not tell him she was pg and had abortion behind his back, 3rd pg she had MC, 4th pregnancy she had a lovely ds who is now 2.7 5th pregnancy Abortion reason because she fell pregnant 2 months after her ds was born and she said she would not be able to cope.

The first pregnancy was with another bloke but all of the other 4 were with the same bloke and she is still with him now. She said she regrets both her abortions and says her MC are someone telling her she was wrong for doing what she done.

I really do feel sorry for her but she does have a lovely ds now and she will probably go on to have another child one day

I did. I was 18 and although in a relationship, it was long distance. I was living 200 miles away from my partner, only saw him at weekends. I did the test and called him to tell him. The only thing he said to me was "You know what you have to do then"

I loved him, or thought i did, and although i was seriously anti-abortion, i did it for the sake of my relationship.

Looking back Im pleased i went along with it, even though i will never forgive myself. The relationship folded when i was nearly 21 and thats when i realised i needed to get my life on track. I got with DH who i had wanted to be with for soooo long, and within 6 months i was married and pg with jessica. I am happier than i have ever been with DH and although think about the "lost" baby every year on what would have been its due date, i refuse to get upset now. I realise that i wouldnt be where i am today if i had kept the baby, and cant imagine myself with a 3.5yr old in tow...

yes had two both were the right desision for me at the time ,

i do think about it every day , but i dont no if i regret it

i disagree that it should be harder. imo no baby should be an unwanted baby, with all the of the accompanying problems. like someone has already said don't take it at all lightly. i don't think adoption is a great answer either, did you know that when a woman decides to give her baby up for adoption, the baby is kept with her for six weeks (to allow breastfeeding) before it is given up to the new family...SIX WEEKS...any of you that have read anything about the emotional development of young babies will know that to then be separated from all the smells familiar etc as well as having had to deal with an abivalent mother can cause extremely serious emotional probems in later life. I'm not at all saying that i'm anti adoption...however i don't think it is the kind choice in all cases tbh. i'm not condemning women that feel guilty for abortion stich, i'm condemning a society that does little to educate it's young on sex, less to support young women in their decisions about contraception and their bodies and leaves them with some sense that a difficult decision they have made, which they will carry their own thoughts and regrets about perhaps, is 'sinful'.

that should read, most women don't take it lightly at all

I had one, a 'medical' TOP (the one with the pills rather than the op), it was fucking awful. I hated myself for doing it and to an extent I still do, but however hard the decision was, I know it was the right one at the time.

I had one. Do regret it at times.

My exP wanted me to have one for dd but it was far too late (19 wks) and there was no way, especially after the abortion I did have was very tough on me.

I had one when I was 19. At the time I was at the end of a relaitionship and it was the only choice. I didn't let myself think about it until a couple of years ago, when I already had two children and I talked to a psychic. She said that I had three children and I corrected her, saying I only had two. She insisted again that there were three children, one was a boy of around seven or eight who was tall like his father. She said that he understands my reasons for doing what I did. She also said that babies and children grow in the afterlife just as they do here. I can't tell you how much I cried. Years and years of suppressed pain came out. I could never have another one if I became pregnant again.

I meant I could never have another abortion.

could a phsycic really tell... omg, im wondering whether to look into it now............ (scuffles away thinking hard)

i have had a abortion, was always very anti abortion until i was in the situation of a abusive bf who was a control freak and i couldnt get away from. i was 21 and it still haunts me, i went private as if i had gone on nhs i would have been over 12weeks and i can still remember vividly waking up and feeling so empty. i was also given a scan as they suspected i had a double uterus, and they gave me a pic of baby which i still have now, i had a nervous breakdown afterwards...took a long long time to get myself together again,and giving birth to dd and the first few months made me feel even worse about it all, i too visited a medium who said i had a baby girl in spirit (she didnt know whether a miscarriage or abortion) who understood and wasnt meant to be, and if she had been born she would have been a troublesome and difficult child as her soul wasnt ready to be born yet, i didnt really know what to make of that, but at the time it did help me alot.

Fedup... that happened to me- a psychic once said i would have three children... I had my two then chose to have termination

I am glad that I have never had to make the decision. I don't know what I would have done when I was younger but I know now that I have had children that I couldn't have an abortion.
I am pro-choice completely.

I think people considering an abortion should be given alot more counselling than I recieved.

I went private for the same reason as lilsmum and I had a 10 mintue chat with someone who asked me why I wanted the termination and that was it other than the examination by a doctor.

I hated myself for it for such a long time and still do a bit i think.
Having my ds later helped alot though as in my nightmares following the termination I always dreamt that the baby was a boy.

Ds helped to heal the wounds i think.

To be honest I don't understand why so many women have abortions. I don't mean that more women should keep their babies, I just mean that it is so easy to get the morning after pill that there is really no reason to have an unwanted pregnancy.

It also annoys me that some people are pressurised into aborting, not by family or friends which must be awful, but by health professionals. When I told my GP I was pg the first thing she said was 'I'll arrange a termination then shall I?', and then she refused to make me an appointment with the midwife for another 2 weeks to give me time to think about it.

That said I think women have the right to a termination if that's what they want and for some women it really is the only option. But I think that if you have even the tiniest doubt about whether it is the right choice for you then it is probably not a good idea.

Beansmum, women are only going to go for the MAP if they know their contraception has failed - or they weren't using any.

Acutally my friend has 2 dd's, both times it was a failed contraception, then took the MAP after 36 hrs which didn't work.... so it can happen.

I do think it's incredibly sad those people who don't use contraception, then are horrifed when they fall pregnant... then go on to have an abortion. So needless and avoidable.

yeah, that's true, but you would usually have a pretty good idea that it's failed. If you're taking the pill properly it's about 99% effective isn't it? Most other forms of contraception are just as effective.

I'm sure it CAN happen that your contraception fails and the MAP fails but it can't be that common surely?

According to the fpa website, the male condom when used correctly is about 98 per cent effective, the cap/diaphragm slightly less so.

You wouldn't know if sperm had leaked through with a condom still intact (it's pretty obvious if a condom's burst, of course).

But there's also denial. There's also 'oh my god I can't possibly be'. There's 'it's a safe period, my body's like clockwork...aha, oops, I've ovulated a couple of days early' (that's what happened to me - and I fully accept and knew at the time I was taking risks, but other women do use the rhythm method in completely good faith). There's 'I'm too old to get pregnant, and I've never been pregnant before' (er, I had a bit of that).

Incidentally I would far FAR rather terminate a pregnancy than go through with a birth and give the baby up for adoption.

And several people on here (Beetroot for one) have 'morning after pill babies'.

When I got pregnant with the baby i terminated I wasn't using anything. I had come off the pill as I felt it was contributing to my pnd and hadn't decided what to use next.
As dd was only 3mths old sex was very few and far between and tbh when I did the test I couldn't even remember having had sex that month.
We had been using the withdrawal method anyway but obviously it didn't work.

I would of taken the morning after pill had i thought i might be pregnant.

lol at withdrawal method!

There are a lot of situations where an abortion is the only alternative to having an unwanted baby, but I'm sure that a lot of the terminations are done on women who just stuck their heads in the sand and told themself it wouldn't happen to them. I think that's really sad, I know that I would much rather take the MAP than go through the stress and possible long term damage of an abortion.

I was on the pill when I got pregnant - both times! (Guess I should have learnt my lesson)and both times I would have happily taken the morning after pill but as I was on the pill I certainly had no idea I was pregnant within 36 hours! The first time I had an abortion (v hard) and the second time I had a beautiful daughter!

I am sure a number of women do bury their heads in the sand, I did for a while after I suspected I was pregnant!

My abortion was extremely difficult and I definitely felt pressured. I lived in a 'nice' area and my prim and proper male GP kept saying things like, 'you don't have to keep it,' 'you can have a termination,' etc. I got of out of the appointment and just burst into tears. How could anyone be insensitive? Yours sounds even worse Beansmum!