IVF

[Boblina]

Hi everyone my friend is doing her third round of IVF and I am keeping my fingers and everything crossed for her. My brain is not coorperating (I blame it on being pregnant) but I cannot remember the process, so what happens next, etc. I want to make sure that I am there every step of the way giving her all the support she needs so I need your help. She had her eggs in yesterday, can you please let me know what happens next, when she is likely to have the phone calls, scans, appointments, everything. Well an idea of what the process is so that I remember to call her when things happen (or suppose to happen). I hope this makes sense. Is there a better place to post this? Thanks. xx

Is there anyone out there who is able to help/advise?

Hi Boblina,

Your friend has either just had her eggs collected (when they remove them from the follicles), or her embryo transfer (when they put the fertilized eggs back in the uterus). She now has to wait two weeks before testing, so see if the embryo has implanted or not. At my clinic, they don't contact you after you get the embryos put back - you call them to tell them the result.

Of course I can't speak for your friend, but I preferred everyone to leave me alone, and let me take the step of telling them which way it went. Having someone say 'well? did it work?' if it didn't is very hard to take.

Sorry to be blunt, but i think you should let your friend know you're there for her and leave the rest to her!

Hi makipuppy, thanks. I suppose you are right. I just thought that by knowing I could text or phone her to say that I am thinking of her and that if (fingers crossd it does not happen) it does not work I am there or give her the space she needs. I just feel guilty because she has wanted a baby for so long and I have a lovely DS and now I am going to have another one. It's so hard for her. I just want to do what is right for her and do whatever I can. But totally understand where you are coming from. I suppose I would not want all the questions either.

Hi Boblina, I'm sure she'll be very happy to have a friend as supportive as you! It's just that a failed IVF cycle is such a bitter blow.

IVF is a very successful technique though, and the majority, with perseverance, and unless there are major issues counting against them, will get there.

She may love to talk to you about the process though (I could have talked for hours about it and DP certainly didn't) so I think perhaps an interest in the procedure might be a place to start, to give her the opportunity to talk to you.

There's a website called fertilityfriends.co.uk which is specifically for people undergoing fertility treatment. She should definitely check it out if she hasn't found it already.

hi Boblina

Firstly, I think it's lovely that you want to do your best to support your friend - I bet she appreciates it

Secondly, I thought I'd give a very basic outline of what steps are involved in IVF, just to elaborate on makipuppy's post a bit:

• ovaries are "switched off" - called downregging and usually either the birth control pill or specific drugs that are injected or sniffed or a combination of both

• ovaries are stimulated to grow as many follicles as possible, with the aim of each follicle having an egg in it - stimming is daily injections of an FSH drug and is the bit which is has usually got most hormonal ups and downs

• egg collection - the follicles are pierced with a needle and (hopefully) an egg is collected from each one

• eggs and sperm are left to do their thing in a petri dish (if there are any issues with the sperm count/quality then a single sperm will be injected under the shell of each egg, called ICSI

• day after egg collection you get a call to say how many have fertilised - totally nerve wracking as sometimes none fertilise for no reason

• 1 or 2 embryos are transferred back into the womb anywhere from 2-5 days post egg collection (3 embryos may be put back if the woman is 40+).

• two week wait from egg collection before testing (some clinics make you wait longer) and the woman has to take artificial progesterone either via vaginal pessaries or injection.

I'm pregnant after my first round of ICSI and when things were going well I was happy to talk. My sister, who was pregnant at the time, was great as she educated herself quite a lot via google, and friends were also great at listening to me bang on about the downregging and stimming drugs. But when things were bad, I did just want to hide in a corner and ignore the ICSI altogether! So makipuppy's advice is good: let your friend know you're there for her and let her decide what she would like. Asking if she wants to meet for lunch or something during the two week wait may be good (it's psychologically the toughest, as every twinge may be good or bad news and the knicker checking reaches epic proportions).

Although if she is on the tww I think I would have died if any friend or family texted to ask if it had worked. They were obviously all waiting (I had told them my test date) but let me share the news in my own good time. And that's with happy news...

I really hope third time is a charm for her

Hi thank you to you both. Very helpful. I certainly appreciate the details Caitni. It's exactly what I was looking for. My friend had told me all this but I just could not remember. I spoke to her a couple of hours ago and it was egg collection she is going back in tomorrow. there are 4 good ones. Really happy just hope it works. She really deserves this. I will give her space and let her tell me as and when she is ready, you are right. I shall just keep texting and calling and it's up to her to tell me what and when. Just hope that if I don't ask she won't think that I am not interested.