What if the baby is not kicking a lot?

[happyspider]

I just wanted some sound advice from you experienced mothers, I am a first mum to be and I am nearly there (a few weeks to go...) but my baby has never been very active. I mean, they say that from 30 weeks you should feel him/her constantly.
Well I don't and got so scared once that they monitored me for the whole afternoon as the doctor could not feel the heart either and they were fearing the worse. It turns out that the baby moves, but I don't feel him. In fact they did an emergency scan and even though the baby was moving on the screen, I could not feel anything.
Is it me only or is this normal?
Should I worry?
I haven't seen any thread on this (I think) so I thought to start one.

I believe that as the baby gets bigger, and has less space to move around, you will feel them move less. It is best to sit down somewhere quietly and take a good 1/2 hour with your eyes shut, and perhaps eat something too, to get that energy flowing around the babies body! Then sit and really concentrate, and you will probably realise that the baby moves more than you realise. Sometimes the hubub of everyday life means you simply get so used to feeling the baby, you can stop noticing so readily.

Remember that there is less room for the baby to move as time goes on, so they DO stop wriggling less. Also, have you tried prodding? I was always getting worried I hadn't felt the baby move for a while, and although it sounds a bit mean, I would sit and have a good old feel around, and poke quite deeply, and the she would thump back ("Oi - stop prodding me mum!!)

Sorry me inglish wot I rote is a bit rubbish. I meant they DO stop wriggling as much. You knew what I meant no doubt. And I'm lost without my speil chocker.

Happyspider
First of all, my sympathy because I know how worried you can get during pregnancy!
Am currently expecting no 2, so wouldn't call myself an experienced mother but here goes....!
What did the doctor say? They should give you some feedback on whether or not everything is ok and if they didn't make sure you ask either the doctor or your midwife.
I don't think that you should feel that you should be feeling the baby moving constantly. I think in a first pregnancy it can be quite difficult to know what to expect and if you are busy / preoccupied you don't always notice the movements. I had some concerns over the baby's movements during this pregnancy but I have realised that a lot of the time I just don't register the movements because I'm busy with ds.
HTH & good luck

happyspider agree with snickers.Take care

snickers I used to prod aswell aren't we terrible.

This was my experience, too, Happyspider. I got really worried at ante natal classes when all the other women were saying they were woken up at night by the baby kicking - that never happened to me! I could never identify hands or feet or whatever moving around in my belly. I wish I could say that you'll probably have a really calm baby, but that's not been my experience! Yes, dd was a good sleeper as a baby, but calm she was (and is) not! If you've been monitored and scanned and everything is OK, try not to worry - and don't forget there's less room for the baby to move around as you get nearer to your delivery date.

I don't know how to put this without offending you happyspider but I think they say that if you are rather large before you get pregnant you won't feel the baby so much. Not trying to say you're obviously really fat though, honest!

Better go now in case I offend you!

No offence snowqueen, I have heard that from my midwife already, but she said it was not my case as when I got pregnant I was a size 12.
I have put on nearly three stone so far though, but everybody is reassuring me it is pretty normal.
At the hospital they suggested I sit down in a quiet place with a glass of ice cold water and count the kicks.
If they go below 10 a day, I have an emergency no to call. They were very helpful, but don't know why I cannot feel him as much as other mothers do. The problem now is that the baby goes through periods of being very active so I feel relaxed and happy, and whole days when I have really to concentrate hard to feel the kicks, and of course I get very worried and want to call that number, but then the activity starts again.
It's like being on a rollercoaster!

I'm PG with no 3 now and with both my DS's it was chocolate that sent them into overdrive....oh and what a chore it was to eat it!
In both pregnancies I was told by midwives that eating a Mars bar or 2 while lying down on you left side(don't know why the left is important though) would get the baby doing somersaults, and it's true.

Oh what a hard life it is to be ordered to eat chocolate while lying down.

Happyspider - if you get at all worried about the number of kicks in the day ring the number. When I was pg I was really worried about this, but the hospital were so good about it all. I found having extra scans and checks very re-assuring, and I was never made to feel by the staff I was being paranoid or wasting their time at the end of the day.

I had the same in my first pregnancy, happyspider. Some of it was because I was having strong braxton hicks and I could feel them so strongly that I didn't notice the movements.

EmmaTMG, lying on your left side helps the circulation of the blood so more blood and oxygen gets to the placenta

Mars bars? and I was given ice cold water, mmmm
By the way MetroBaby you've hit the nail on the head. I do feel paranoid ringing that number, as I would be doing it constantly.
But you're right, I should just go ahead and call instead of getting very worried.

The other thing that worries me is that I don't know if this means there could be anything wrong with the baby? I have asked this at the hospital and they don't answer, guess they don't know. But the scans have always been very good so far and the baby is big for dates, so they say I shouldn't worry.
Do I worry too much?

Mars bars? and I was given ice cold water, mmmm
By the way MetroBaby you've hit the nail on the head. I do feel paranoid ringing that number, as I would be doing it constantly.
But you're right, I should just go ahead and call instead of getting very worried.

The other thing that worries me is that I don't know if this means there could be anything wrong with the baby? I have asked this at the hospital and they don't answer, guess they don't know. But the scans have always been very good so far and the baby is big for dates, so they say I shouldn't worry.
Do I worry too much?

Mars bars? and I was given ice cold water, mmmm
By the way MetroBaby you've hit the nail on the head. I do feel paranoid ringing that number, as I would be doing it constantly.
But you're right, I should just go ahead and call instead of getting very worried.

The other thing that worries me is that I don't know if this means there could be anything wrong with the baby? I have asked this at the hospital and they don't answer, guess they don't know. But the scans have always been very good so far and the baby is big for dates, so they say I shouldn't worry.
Do I worry too much?

happyspider, i don't think a mother can ever stop worrying about something, so don't feel bad for it.
I used to have periods of time when I couldn't feel ds move, so I'd prod away (to the major disgust of my DP, he was convinced ds would be born with a cauliflower ear!). I think it's like someone else said, your body sometimes get's used to the feeling with out you realising so the kicks don't stand out as much. DS was a perfectly healthy baby, I'm sure yours will be the same. And like you I was size 10/12 before I got pregnant and put on about 3 stone by 30 wks, so maybe it's related to weight gain?

I also used to panic as dd dis not move that much - less towards the end. I used to lie down quietly on my side and prod until I felt a movment! Ice cold water does also help. I was a size 12 before so not a fat issue! This is a really worrying time - I think I spent my whole pregancy in a panic imagining all sorts!
I think you can buy fetal heart monitor kits for home but no idea how much they would cost or if it is really advisable. Maybe Mears could advise

mine squirmed rather than kicked - are you very active? as this will slow it down. I had days where she was REALLY quiet - the doctors would say if they wre worried I'm sure

Happyspider - you have said that you are aware of movements at times. Have you been able to associate some kind of pattern? Is the baby more active at certain times of the day? Do you have more than one episode of activity?
There are definately many women out there who do not feel their babies move. As a midwife I have said - do you feel that and often women say they don't. Try not to worry too much. I used to not feel no.4 much because I was too preoccupied. I always found that lying in the bath splashing water prompted movement. All the other suggestions are good too ( first I've heard about the mars bar - I'm a cold water fan myself )
If you are able to find some activity that provokes movement that you can see or feel, you might then feel more relaxed. However, if you get to a point that you are concerned, phone that number and the midwife will do a tracing for you. That is what they are there for, to reassure you. Good luck.

Thanks everybody for all the support and replies.

Ninja that is a point. I am so active that my dh worries I do too much.
I go to the gym 3 to 4 times a week, walk everywhere and still work, while trying to go out with girlfriends (not clubbing of course, but we go for lunches, movies and theater) whenever I have the time as I think it won't be that easy afterwards.
The only time I feel the baby move without trying is when I am in a meeting or on a conf call. When I try to concentrate hard to feel him move (normally at week ends) I don't feel anything, I have become a fun of frappuccino with lots of crashed ice, that's the only thing that will do the trick at the moment.

of course I mean a fan of frappuccinos!

Yes grommit, you are right. I have jsut done an internet serach and have found out that a company called baby echoes make foetal heart monitors for home use.

If you want to try one happyspider. you will find their website here

thanks Cheecky, however I have tried the website and the link's not working ...

Happyspider - not much to add except that I'm sure if there was anything wrong the hospital / midwife would be all over it. I think the fact that you are so active is probably masking the normal movements that us couch potatoes feel

I have heard that the foetal monitors you can buy for home use are not very good.

As you get nearer 40 weeks you get monitored more regularly anyway so you should get some comfort from hearing the baby's heart a little more often.

Best of luck with the rest of your pregnanacy

The address is www.babyechoes.co.uk, if you are still interested after what MrsS said!

I would not recommend buying a fetal heart monitor - i think it would cause more anxiety than it would allay. It can be difficult to locate a heartbeat when you are trained to do it, never mind when you are not.

Thanks Mears and the others, maybe with only 3 and half weeks to go there is no point in buying the home kit, also because I am being monitored more often at the hospital. I actually had a check up yesterday and the doctor said he could feel him move under his hands, but I couldn't feel him...

After your advice I have been prodding my belly... and can see the baby move... and have tried splashing some water on my bump and can see the baby move, but I DON'T FEEL him move.

Strange or what? Guess I don't have a very sensitive belly?
I'll be glad if this means a painless labour...