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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

What is with people?

17 replies

chaya5738 · 08/07/2009 12:40

I usually wouldn't post a random, complaining thread but am hoping someone can explain what people are thinking.

This is what just happened to me.

I just bumped into our neighbour on the street and he asked when the baby was due. I said tomorrow and he wished me luck for the birth. He then proceeded to tell me about their family friend down the road who just had her first child via caesarian but it was still born. And how it just goes to show that the doctors are very good but can make one little mistake and kill the baby. Great.

Honestly, what is with people?

I seem to encounter so many people telling me awful birth stories, baby death stories etc etc. It is so strange. Are they just stuck for conversation?

OP posts:
Longtalljosie · 08/07/2009 12:44

Oh god I don't know. My MIL did this when I was quite early on - despite me heading her off at the pass early in the anecdote and saying I didn't want to talk about birth stories. She said it was "a funny story". It wasn't, and having already said once I didn't want to hear it (and being in a restaurant) I had to sit there and take it

mrswee · 08/07/2009 13:10

I don't know, some people can't seem to help themselves, it can be really hurtful and at best scare mongering!

My step dad said on an email when I was about 8 weeks and suffering quite a lot of cramps
"even if the baby doesn't make it to term your Granny deserves to know (your are pregnant), you should tell her now, not wait until 12 weeks"
As if it was any business of his!? and what a way to put it!!

NellyNoKnicks · 08/07/2009 13:16

When I told my boss that I was pregnant she said that I would probably lose it because it was early days and my first baby.... errr thanks for the support.

I think when you're pregnant you have to develop thick skin and selective deafness because people generally only tell you the negatives and just come out with the most random (and often insulting) stuff you've ever heard.

All the best for tomorrow!

Nekabu · 08/07/2009 13:18

No idea but it seems to be a compulsion. Not only that but I find the same person will tell me the same story repeatedly, or come out with little homilies like 'It's not called labour for nothing.' at the drop of a hat.

My patience, which was never one of my outstanding virtues, is wearing exceedingly thin.

Bump02 · 08/07/2009 13:19

What an idiot!! You poor thing Ignore him...he's a man afterall so they are always talking out of their backside (sorry I'm not usually sexist but just this once won't hurt)

I am only 16 weeks and I have already heard all the horrible stories...I just think people are stupid at times!! Anyway I won't wind you up anymore, seems like your neighbour is doing a good job of that

Good luck with your bubba and birth whenever he/she arrives all healthy and fine, let us all know how it went yeah!!

Original poster
chaya5738 · 08/07/2009 13:38

Thanks everyone

I wonder whether some people just like the attention of being able to tell a horror story. Or else they genuinely think it is important that you hear these stories so you don't get your hopes up. Very weird.

Yes, very excited at the moment so won't let an annoying neighbour ruin that!

OP posts:
Bump02 · 08/07/2009 14:05

This might make you smile...

What's worse than a nosey annoying neighbour?... having my mother with you at the birth...I quote: "ooh that bit hurts" (said EVERYTIME I had a contraction)

I can safely say she will not be allowed anywhere near the hospital this time round haha!!!

thelollipoplady · 08/07/2009 20:03

People are so annoying.

I was due yesterday, and my MIL popped round and proceeded to tell me a long and convoluted story about her mother who gave birth to still born twins. And then asked me lots of questions about the difference between still born babies and 'blue babies' as she put it.

Really helped the mood.

I'm so lucky to have her {hmm}

JetLi · 08/07/2009 21:25

My Mum told me an awful, sad baby story a few weeks ago which I will not repeat to hormonal pregnant women on this thread. Needless to say I thought thanks a ruddy bunch Mum - I'm due tomorrow and it keeps repeatedly popping into my head now
I love her to bits, but what possessed her? Especially when she keeps saying "You really haven't relaxed about this pregnancy have you?" - is there any fucking wonder?

Original poster
chaya5738 · 08/07/2009 21:45

So it isn't just me that keeps encountering these stories obviously!? I really wish people would stop externalising their anxieties and dumping them on us. Obviously our MILs, mums, neighbours are nervous but it would be nice if they kept it to themselves.

I have been trying to ignore the horror stories but they are still a bit of a mood killer like lollipop said.

So JetLi you are due tomorrow too? How are you feeling?

OP posts:
hester · 08/07/2009 21:54

Best of luck for the birth, chaya and JetLi

PhoenixFirefly · 08/07/2009 22:17

i didnt speak to my dad for 6 months because when i was having strange cramps and reduced fetal movement, he said ' well maybe it would be better if it didnt survive anyway' about DS (now 2.7y )

PacificDogwood · 08/07/2009 22:21

Oh, people just LOVE a good disaster story, don't they? Nobody every says "Actually I have a friend/neighbour/relative who had a good delivery and enjoyed the experience" - much much too boring .
To all the ladies due to pop on this thread: good luck and whatever happens I hope you will have good birth stories to recount afterwards

JemL · 09/07/2009 14:07

I was going to post about this EXACT TOPIC the other day after two seperate people told me very sad pregnancy stories - and it always seems to have happened to someone that they know, or some friend of a friend - it is bad enough hearing horrible labour stories first time round (Thank god people don't seems to find this so amusing when they know it is your second pregnancy)but real tragic stories are even more upsetting.

I absolutely cannot understand why people do it, especially people who have children themselves and should know better!

KatyS36 · 09/07/2009 17:49

I'm so glad you posted this, I thought it was just me!

I couldn't believe the number of miscarriage stories I got told after I announced my first pregnancy. Sure if it was a friend who I needed to know about that would be different, but it was about people I didn't even know!

I found it really really upsetting.

JetLi · 10/07/2009 06:33

Thanks hester and chaya - our due date came and went without the merest sign of an inkling of a hint that anything might be happening .
Reflexology today - I'll give her the green flag to stimulate as much as possible I reckon
Never did really think baby would come on time!

barbigirl · 10/07/2009 16:14

I've treated myself to a taxi account to get places in the last few weeks of pregnancy...what a mistake! I have yet to meet a cabbie who hasn't delivered his own child in terrifying circumstances!

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