Well nobody mentioned THAT!! Things I never thought about pregnancy until I actually got pregnant

[heylottie]

I consider myself fairly well read on all things fertility and baby, having been ttc for some time. But now I am pregnant there are things that I am still surprised about.

1. Drool - I am sure I never used to wake up in The Pool of Drool that now greets me every morning
2. Baby gender - was always adament that I would never want to find out the sex, but MY GOD the temptation to ask at the 20 week scan was nearly overwhelming! I didn't but golly...
3. That I would need panty liners some days (TMI? yes but still)
4. That listening to Matchstick Men and Matchstick Cats and Dogs on the radio had me wailing (I don't expect this one to be universal)
5. The amount of people who, when you tell them of back ache, gripes and pain, say 'well it will only get worse' triumphantly.
6. That when the baby kicks my first response is still (sometimes) 'Oh I need to fart.'

Any more???

Most def, 150%, without a shudder of a doubt......

AFTER PAINS!!!!

After DC2 I thought they had left a twin in.

After DC3 I was on all fours in agony

Dreading DC4

No-one ever mentions them LOL

They give you gas and air for the after pains after number 4 whocares!

getting pleurisy. because baby shovelling your abdomen up into your lungs has caused the lung lining to stick to your lung.

didnt know about the cramps either, when i would waking up screaming at DH to massage my legs and then shout even more when he wasnt massaging my leg hard enough!

also didnt know about the snoring and that you could lose control of your bladder before the birth of the baby, i thought it only happened after

Being told by my wonderful SIL when I was pregnant with dd1 that if I have a natural birth do not under any circumstances wee afterwards without pouring warm water on your grazed flaps!!!!! sorry tmi its the way she put it - but omg am I so glad I took her advice .

I now take my own jug into hospital with me as so many midwives have told me it wouldn't be necessary Its more necessary than the toast!!!!!!!

that I would have incredibly vivid pornographic dreams.

that trapped wind fucking hurts. I thought I was having a heart attack with DD when I was driving. I was in so much pain I couldn't move the gear stick and was in the middle of an incredibly busy junction in the middle of rush hour...scary stuff.

that the tiredness you experience in pregnancy pales into insignificance when compared to the extreme fatigue of the first few weeks of your baby's life.

how much CM you would produce and that you would need shares in always by the end of your pregnancy.

that you would recognise your baby blindfolded just by their smell alone and that other people's babies would smell odd......my sister asked me to hold her 6mo old DS when my own DS was just a few weeks old. the smell of him was like slap around the face....and I remember thinking "that's not my baby" quite strongly.

but...the reason no one tells you these things is that you probably wouldn't take them in anyway in your TTC or early pregnancy euphoria. It's not until you are in the middle of it does it become relevant!!

after birth
night sweats

whocare, have a glimmer o fhope here, my afterpains were far worse with dc2 than dc3 or dc4. I also demanded voltarol to take home with me!

Oh and for those who are planning to breastfeed or express, just wanted to check you know that breastmilk comes out of a number of holes in your nipple, like a flower hose on a watering can.

I didn't know this and phoned my midwife after my first attempt to express wailing "Please help, I think I've broken my boobs"

1. That if it's cold your nipples hurt so much that the urge to rub them to warm them up (even when you're somewhere where it would be deeply inappropriate) is almost overwhelming. And that dipping them into a sink of warm water when you get home is all you can think of. (nb - this probably doesn't apply in summer pregnancies!)

1. That however afraid you are of labour, by the end of pregnancy, you are so desperate for it to be over that you are no longer scared but instead wander around muttering "Bring. It. On"

These have made me LOL. I haven't had any DC yet - oh what joy lies ahead!

I certainly did not know that about breast feeding gentlydidit - and I've cared for loads of BF babies!

never mind if it's cold - if you're pg your nipples hurt if you even look at them! and after 18 weeks 'out', your former 'innie' will hurt that much too.

that your body temp goes up by a degree or three so that you will feel feckin hot regardless of actual temperature. yes, that was me walking around Reyjavik with my coat unbuttoned, in January!

oh and the blubbing. all the pathetic, spontaneous, uncontrollable snotty blubbing at every teeny little thing. with a bit more blubbing for afters.

Oh God the nipples. I remember walking round the fridge aisle of Sainsbos trying to buy dinner with both arms folded over my chest and my nips stinging like buggery. I bought a little hottie bottie to shove down my bra but it didn't reach both nips at once. And this was in August'

See I can't believe this got to two pages and no one had mentioned the nipples before! I never read about it anywhere when I was pg, no one told me about but when I quietly asked friends who had been pregnant if they had experienced similar, they were all 'Oh yes! The nipples!! Dreadful!". And yet no one tells you

I'm with DAISY on the dreams... and I had the libido to go with them! I spent the last four months trying to drag DH to bed, though he really went off the idea once he could feel the baby kicking. And telling myself that there was NO WAY I'd go off sex after the birth.

Of course, after the birth I spent four months pushing DH out of bed...

Chronic constipation. Just lovely.

That your nose develops superpowers. I could smell the tap water while brushing my teeth a week before my BFP.

And that the bionic nose can stay with you for years after. I can still smell things that other people never notice.

And that you can have a stuffy nose for 9 months straight and then never notice that it's cleared up once l.o. is born.

Oh, and that just brushing your teeth can make you gag.

That you lose all sense of dignity and, well, sense and get so used to grown men whose first names you don't know shuftying about up your nethers, that you have to chant to yourself, like a mantra, in the dentist's waiting room...."Don't take your pants off, it's just teeth this time"

I'd forgotten about the night sweats...mine were very specifically around the neck. Neck sweats. It was minging.

Had also forgotten about the lovely 'don't give a shit' about anything not pregnancy-related feeling too though That I liked.

Things I didn't know happened in pg, and got (in force):

Agonising leg cramps at night

Chronic heartburn

Permanently stuffy nose yet supersonic smelling powers (eg the guy on the far side of the offices with his greasy hair, uurgh!)

Feeling hot all the time (great in winter! Saved a fortune on heating!)

Going to the toilet 2,3,4x a night...

Thirsty all the time (or was that just the undiagnosed gestational diabetes?

Your tummy feeling like you'd just downed three roast dinners plus pudding, on the trot

Forgetting what your nethers look like

Not being able to TWIST! let alone BEND!

First trimester = exhausted, can't do anything
Second trimester = bursting with energy, can do everything!
Third trimester = exhausted yet obsessed with doing everything

and finally:

NOBODY TOLD ME ABOUT THE GODDAM NIGHTSWEATS AFTER THE BIRTH!!!

Ooh yes, postnatal neck sweats Between those and my leaky norks it was like sleeping in a swamp.

SPD
heartburn
feeling like your fanjo is dragging on the ground after you
afterpains
piles
that breast milk does come out one central hole but 5-6 jets none of which point in the same direction
colostrum is orange
SPD SPD and SPD again

LOL @ "colostrum is orange"

Rib pain. I forgot about that. JB's bum was rammed into my left ribs. They still hurt . He's 16 months old!!

I didn't know that you can feel the indentations in the skin from stretchmarks. Freaked me out the first time I felt it.

Plus the leg cramps, drooling, snoring & leakage.

Also how slowly time can go by in the last few months...