Well nobody mentioned THAT!! Things I never thought about pregnancy until I actually got pregnant

[heylottie]

I consider myself fairly well read on all things fertility and baby, having been ttc for some time. But now I am pregnant there are things that I am still surprised about.

1. Drool - I am sure I never used to wake up in The Pool of Drool that now greets me every morning
2. Baby gender - was always adament that I would never want to find out the sex, but MY GOD the temptation to ask at the 20 week scan was nearly overwhelming! I didn't but golly...
3. That I would need panty liners some days (TMI? yes but still)
4. That listening to Matchstick Men and Matchstick Cats and Dogs on the radio had me wailing (I don't expect this one to be universal)
5. The amount of people who, when you tell them of back ache, gripes and pain, say 'well it will only get worse' triumphantly.
6. That when the baby kicks my first response is still (sometimes) 'Oh I need to fart.'

Any more???

Being kicked in the cervix feels like have a smear taken from the inside.

The most horrendous wind, most of it trapped, terrible constipation followed by the runs, totally disrupted bowels.

Never mind the expanding chest, what about expanding feet? I was a size 9 before I started all this, now a size 10

Thread veins in my legs, I look like I have a road map printed on them.

Maternity jeans never ever stay up, even when you are full term and huge you're still walking around holding on to your waistband.

The great skin and hair really don't start until you're too tired and fat to go out and show it all off, first trimester is spent looking like a greasy spotty teenager.

Being an emotional wreck, crying over the most trivial things.

After the birth things don't get much better; crying at 3 in the morning for absolutely no reason.

They don't tell you you'll get a lovely little overhanging bit after you've had a cs

No one warns you about the ridiculous amount of milk you have in the first couple of months and that you can easily fire it across a room. I used to wonder why after I'd dried off after a shower my feet were still wet and then realise milk was pouring out of me on to them!

I didnt realise that towards the end of your pregnancy and the baby is kicking it always seems like it is in the same place, and you actually feel bruised inside some days.

I also thought my son would be born with massive talons instead of nails because sometimes it felt like he was dragging them along my insides.

Also that during the first part of your pregnancy the sense of smell was so strong that some of your old favourites eg lasagne would smell now like dog food!

I also think packing your hospital bag is an impossible task... the guidelines are so vague, some baby grows, some vests (yes but how many), I had to pack and repack the bloody thing many times just so I'd be able to carry it in the door.

That I would get such a beautiful chloasma moustache that comes back if the sun even threatens to come out.
That a mucous plug could be so very disgusting but fascinating at the same time.
That the sleeping patterns DS got into towards the end were to be his sleeping patterns once he was out. Yawn.

Just the miserable unrelenting slog of it all for 9 months - give me childbirth and a newborn any day over pregnancy! I found it much harder to be pregnant and have to try and carry on with normal life (eg work, running the house) than having a newborn is now (though dd is pretty good and sleeps for 4 hours at a stretch, so that may be why!)

First night home from hospital I slept dead FLAT on my BACK - what bliss! Just the feeling of being normal sized again and being able to stride around purposefully without getting totally exhausted is the best ever. As is the feeling (caused in part by bfeeding) of being able to tuck in and enjoy a huge mountain of food without nasty after effects, and actually be able to feel your body working it all off in feeding the baby and walking round town.

My dd is only 4 weeks old however and I am already getting a bit coo-ey about the thought of another one, and another, and another!!!

That morning sicknes can also be afternoon sickness, and evening sickness, and can go on for the whole 9 months.

That indigestion and heartburn will haunt your waking and (not) sleeping hours.

The excrutiating pain of a heel lodged just under your left ribcage. I saw a pregnant woman in the street the other ay with her hand placed on the exact same place and in obvious pain and really felt for her.

That you wake up the day after giving birth and still look pregnant!!

That on "day three, postpartum and slug has turned into Dolly Parton"

that my feet would grow an entire size

That there's total loss of dignity in hospital. If you have a bad tear most of the staff in the maternity unit need to stare between your legs on a regular basis. When a midwife asked if a student could look too I replied 'why not? everyone else has.' When you're trying to breastfeed midwives and assistants grab your boobs and nipples and pull in all directions without even asking you first. I'm expecting number 3 and really hoping for a home birth.

And that I'd get really itchy skin in pregnancy for some reason. Especially bad at night and in heat (ie now).

Needing to wear a bib or apron when eating because inexplicably bits of food always ended up on the bump...

There is a period around the early 20 weeks when you are starting to loosen up and fall over your feet all the time. DH shouted at me the first time after tripping up 3 times when we were walking down the road. Cue toddler type crying in teh middle of the pavement. he was more understanding this time

That after 6 solid weeks of bleeding you may only get a few weeks off before your period comes back. Even hough you are breastfeeding every second of the day and night.

That in spite of all of the crazy side effects of pregnancy, it is rather addictive? DD is 5 months old, and I am ready to do it all over again :O

Just how the Midwife checks dilation during labour.

Never even crossed my mind til she was elbow deep

I didnt realise i'd have lots of discharge !

Or that i would become a huge moan-alot, telling people how to raise there children...etc

Heartburn- never had it untill now !

I cant sleep past 8am

When you ''pump#'' it is so horrible you try to run away from your own smell !

The amount of dreaming you do, about the weirdest things !....................

Oh the joys of pregnancy and after the birth!

Yes, the night sweats - no one told me and I thought I was dying.

Bleeding during labour - WTF! as if afterwards isn't enough you have to wear maternity pads before the baby even comes out!

Memory loss - or something....vague ramblings...

Headbutts to the cervix...in the shops and whilst driving can be very dangerous.

Total inhibition when in labour - I will not put my clothes on I want to give birth in just my socks!

How far breast milk can fire when you jump in a nice hot shower.

How good a hot bath feels after months of tepid 'let's be safe' baths.

That induction is not always a nice quick process and you can still have a 36 hour labour!

That the midwife will want to check your stitches even once you are home - for what seems like an inappropriately

That you will need all your dinners cut up for you for 4-6 weeks after the birth as every time you pick up a knife and fork your LO will want to be fed.

That (I have no idea why I thought otherwise) when they break your waters it is quite warm and feels like wee. I thought they'd be cold????

That you can leak through super-duper breast pads x3 over night, and might end up wearing a muslin square as a type of large boob sanitary pad.

That you will actually forget all of this and do it again - on Friday - this week - what have I done???????

I never realised that it would take me twice as long to get anywhere as I have to walk so slowly. I get overtaken by elderly ladies and fat people!

That pregnancy thrush didn't go away until the birth.

That even after a membrane sweep you can still be convinced your early contractions are trapped wind.

That the contraction-timing iPhone app is much more effort than it's worth.

That pedestrians get out of the way of a heavily pregnant woman, but not one pushing a pram.

Nobody's mentioned itchy palms. I have to run around the house rubbing my hands against different surfaces to try and find relief. It's especially bad after washing up, which I can now barely reach to do.

Also the total lack of inhibitions about my body - I have to stop myself from hanging up the washing and answering the door in only my pants - I'm guessing this gradual decline in dignity is good preparation for labour?

Hi - just found out I'm pregnant - got lots to look forward to then ha-ha?

Waking up with swollen fingers which are too painful to bend, so you can't wrap them around the handle of the cafetiere to pour yourself your (desperately needed) one cup of coffee for the day. Of course, the cafetiere is too hot to just pick it up with two hands (although you seriously consider this option for a moment). So you wind up mournfully staring at it, considering a hormone/lack-of-caffeine induced bout of tears until DH comes out and rescues you by pouring you a cup.

Not being able to wear skirts for months because of your giant purple feet and cankles.

OK, and this is a bit of a naive one - not realising that pregnancy lasts ten months (40 weeks) instead of 9 and feeling very ripped off about that.

Starting out pregancy determined to be one of those "together" women who look lovely throughout, and finishing pregnancy wearing tracky pants and DH's t-shirts ALL THE TIME as nothing else fits, and you can't bear the thought of leaving home to buy something you will only wear for a few weeks as you can't walk far and the tube is too overwhelming.

Having people you did not realise cared give you baby presents and being really touched by that.

I did not know:

that pregnancy lasted 10 months, not 9

that I would have to pee 4-5 times per night for months on end

that turning in the bed would become a military operation

that I would be constantly mishandling/dropping things, and cutting myself all the time while cutting food

that i would miss sleeping on my back so much

that I would feel an irresitible urge to wash and iron baby clothes over and over

that toward the end of the pregnacy I would be much less afraid of the birth giving compared to the beginning

Not being able to stop eating in the first 20 weeks.
Pubic bone separating at 26 weeks
Being on crutches by 30 weeks
Being in a wheelchair by 34 weeks
Gaining over 4 stone
Giving birth in the hottest week of the year and having infected stitches in 95 degree heat.
But he's wonderful and I adore him, even though I'm still 2 stone overweight a year later with a dodgy pelvis, a fried brain and a wardrobe full of clothes that won't cover my vast girth.

becoming one of the 'fat people' that overtake hackneybird!

No one tells you that actually you might not be able to produce anywhere near enough milk for your baby

No one tells you your boobs don't always grow during/after pregnancy

No one tells you that you'll only be able to get a quarter of an ounce in an hour of breast-pumping

No one tells you not to bother with breast pads, waste of money as you won't leak

(can you see I still have ishoos? )

No one tells you not to get your hopes up about a water/home/natural birth

No one tells you that if you've had a previous c-section you won't be allowed in the MLU/birthing pool

The night sweats post birth - so pleased I see lots of women get this!

The CM is ridiculous! I even still get huge amounts and DS2 is 15 weeks old! - When does it stop?

Leaky fanjo and random hair growth - or lack there of. I also suddenly developed car sickness where none was before and it hasn't left now even though dd is 16 months.

And I forgot about the drool, thanks OP, had a little chickle remembering that.

I really thought my belly button would ping back and I would be able to wear my pre-pregnancy clothes again..