Well nobody mentioned THAT!! Things I never thought about pregnancy until I actually got pregnant

[heylottie]

I consider myself fairly well read on all things fertility and baby, having been ttc for some time. But now I am pregnant there are things that I am still surprised about.

1. Drool - I am sure I never used to wake up in The Pool of Drool that now greets me every morning
2. Baby gender - was always adament that I would never want to find out the sex, but MY GOD the temptation to ask at the 20 week scan was nearly overwhelming! I didn't but golly...
3. That I would need panty liners some days (TMI? yes but still)
4. That listening to Matchstick Men and Matchstick Cats and Dogs on the radio had me wailing (I don't expect this one to be universal)
5. The amount of people who, when you tell them of back ache, gripes and pain, say 'well it will only get worse' triumphantly.
6. That when the baby kicks my first response is still (sometimes) 'Oh I need to fart.'

Any more???

Reaching five months preg and having to get DH to help me do up my shoes because I just couldn't bend in the right way.
Following on from that, shopping for summer sandals and avoiding all the trendy strappy ones for the above reason.
Despite having a blocked nose and blocked ears (sorry, tmi but they feel like they're full of wax all the time) I have the most amazing sense of smell and hearing- eh??
Having to start thinking about some kind of electric shaving device for previously neat nether regions, and wondering whether one could be fitted to a long handle for also shaving legs and toes- eek.
The unbearable tiredness which other MNers have spoken of on this post. Not helped by light sleeping and needing the loo every couple of hours throughout the night.
Total lack of maths ability. Whatever I had is now gone- can't add up or anything anymore. Thank goodness I'm not an accountant!

Oh, and that you will start holding/stroking/rubbing your bump as soon as it starts coming through. I find myself touching the bump all the time. Helps clear up the 'Is she pregnant?' question though...

As others have said, that your wee smells really odd!

Also, the overwhelming tiredness in the first trimester. I knew you got tired, but I can remember standing at the bottom of my stairs one evening and seriously contemplating going to sleep on the spot because climbing them just seemed impossible.

Totally agree with the blocked nose, crippling tiredness in the first trimester.

My two peeves are:

Ridiculously excessive sweating with BIG pit- stains(TMI?)

How annoying it gets when for the millionth time i've been woken at 3am to a dancing elephant in my uterus! Not that i'm complaining, honest, just that the joke's wearing thin now...

This thread is hilarious and also very helpful - I'm not pregnant (yet...) but I have had hormone problems most of my adult life and this thread has finally cleared up the fact that many of my 'idiosyncracies' are due to hormones....I can smell an iffy satsuma from another room, amongst many other skills listed in this thread

So...thanks...I think

Absolutely hilarious!! This has had me lol for the past hour and definatley taken my mind off the morning noon and nightimne sickness.. my own one is the vile foul taste in my mouth which so does not taste remotley metalic but can make me gag just by sitcking my tongue out..keep them coming

oh boy, im glad im not the only one,im 38 and on my th, my youngest is 14yrs. im 32wks and have never had constant trouble with the others, where do i start, my hair is like straw,i have sore boobs and cramp in the ,ower half, like a pulling sensation,then the spd kicked in, and gradually getting less and less mobile, heartburn, after every meal, well all the time, sleep has become a thing of the past, and i got gest diabeties, so i have had to cut out sugar and nice things varicous veins, my legs need a good shave, i pay the youngest 2 pound a leg to do them, not seen my feet or my fanny for a while, im 4ft 11 and in a size 26 bottoms, si look a right sight, and my dh wants to have sex , i just let him have it, and gets him to hurry up about it, no foreplay, im tired and only have it in one postion, and get cram bad in my legs, i make the noises, and let him get on with it.

on my 4th baby, thought i was in labour last wk, only to be told it was constipation x much to my dh amusement

It was the massively painful cramps I had on and off, especially in an important meeting. Was literally folded in half with the pain and at the beginning was worried it was really serious. Then having a massive fart and miraculously the pain was gone.

That and being in hospital is a bit like a weird boarding school. You're not treated like you're ill (even after a section) and just have to get on with looking after this alien creature like you know how but you can only have a cup of tea at 3pm when they bring the trolley round. Note to all: take snacks, lots of snacks.

I forgot as well, the weird primal stuff that you don't know where it has come from.

I have become very precious about my personal space and people knocking in to me. I wish I could erect big barriers around myself when I am out and about as if anyone gets too near I feel murderous. Have had to mainly avoid pubs and gigs because of this. There was one I wanted to go to last night but unless I could have found a suitable spot it would have been nasty.

Oh god I am never having a baby; you lot have put me right off.

I have just spent 30 mins laughing my head off. I'm a first timer and had no idea that half of this stuff happened... Oh god I so cannot wait. (NOT). I'm into my seventh week now and not had anything except a little bit of nausea mostly when brushing my teeth and of course nearly weeing myself just..

Oh my goodness ladies...please keep these coming..i'm 5 weeks gone..so scared but excited...now i've read these posts, i'm even more scared!!!!!!!!!!!!! they are making me laugh out loud tho!

That you`ll have to get used to soggy knickers way before you give birth

That if you sneeze too hard you`ll piss your pants a little bit

That if you cough too hard you`ll piss your pants a little bit

That even thinking about putting your toothbrush in your mouth will make you violently gag, and then you`ll piss yourself a little bit

That bending down for anything longer than 5 seconds after around 6 months will make you breathless

That your regular knickers/thongs/briefs will not stay up over your bump after 5 months, and youll spend many a a minute digging around inside your jeans, in public, trying to pull them back up and youll then give in up and have to go and buy some luverly apple catchers from Evans, preferably in a size 32, and you wont give a shit, you just want a bit of comfort

That you will have the weirdest dreams ever, ive been James Bond on a mission to rid the world of poisoned biscuits and ive had a white tardis flying over my head with mine and my friends dates of death written on it

That you will drool like a labrador when you sleep

That you will get heartburn in two places, everyday, all day, and NOTHING will cure it

That you will so crave a large gin that you find yourself stroking the two bottles belonging to the woman behind you at the checkout in Tesco, she will then think your a weirdo or an alky

That 17 times a day, you will need the biggest piss ever, only to go to the toilet and realise you only needed a small one, then when youve wiped, stood up and pulled your apple catchers up a little bit more will trickle out

That 40 weeks is a fucking long time, and you wish you were a dog, 9 weeks i can do, 40 weeks is bloody hard

That in the first 12 weeks you will check your knickers 26 times a day cos you have cramps and feel like your losing blood, you arent, its either piss or discharge

That your little darling will kick you sooo hard it vibrates down to your vadge and makes you jump, then hell decide not to kick at all or not as hard for a day or two, just to make you think hes no longer alive and well in there, give you a heart attack, worry you half to death then make your midwife send you to hospital to be monitored, only to start kicking hard again, just as theyre attatching the jump leads to your gut

That people will feel the need to touch your belly, even if youve perfected the perfect "get the fuck off me snarl" they`ll still do it, give up snarling and let them

HAIR! I am sprouting hair all over my bump and belly button! Oh also have quite a nice goatee comming along!

Janedoe, I had the same hair problem when I was pregnant with my son - I had a white fluffy beard, not visible from a distance but highlighted beautifully when I put foundation on!! I don't have a hair problem this time and am having a girl. Maybe it's boy hormones that make you beardy?

That pregnancy is bloody hard going.

That all those people who 'breezed' through their pregnancies are lying through their drug laced teeth.

That EVERYONE has an opinion on how big/small you are and you end up worrying if your baby is actually normal.

That you will worry over everything.

That those who have never been pregnant or cared for a newborn will sagely tell you that pregnancy insomia is practice for when the LO arrives.

That the above will drive you to swear at people like a sailor home from leave and said friend won't talk to you for a solid week.

That those new maternity clothes you bought will develop bobbling in that one patch from where you have been rubbing your bump.

That in the early stages, you will leave for work twenty minutes early so you can wander round the supermarket and get your lunch based on what makes you feel the least ill by looking at it.

That even though normally you wouldn't let anyone at work touch you with a ten foot barge pole, that once the baby starts kicking you will grab the nearest hand to you and clamp it to your belly so they can 'share' with you.

That the pregnacare vitimins will turn your pee day glo yellow.

That towards the end, you get so so bored that washing the curtains seems like a productive use of time.

That even though you swore BLIND you never would fall into the trap, you know that come the next pay day you will be buying that little jacket with the rabbit ears from Next.

REALLY sore melons...
Like, REAAAAAAAAALLLYYYY sore.

The most important thing that nobody told me was that it was common to 'spot' at around 6-8 weeks.

That my breasts and nipples would sting so much around lunchtime everyday this week, that I would cry and have to take my bra off and blow on them to try and cool them down!

That I would wake up at 4am every night for no reason.

That my legs would really hurt when I'm trying to sleep.

That my DH would try to banish me to the spare room so he could get a decent nights sleep

That I would get a hairy stomach and have to shave it.

That I would worry constantly about killing/harming my baby and start to curse the invention of the internet for allowing me to indulge and validate my paranoia

That I would snore myself awake and dribble

That I would feel so tired that I want to cry

That nearly every woman who already has a child would have to tell me their horror birth stories or ones they'd heard of.

That people would comment on how big I am and say that I won't go to term because I'm too big at 32 weeks (midwife thinks I'm fine)

Hehe, am 16+4 with my first...

The psycho-rage that you thought you'd got rid of when you changed your Pill prescription was just a forerunner to pregnarage.

That you would want to jump DP's bones all the time but even at 15 weeks most positions would be impossible due to logistics or because you can't stop giggling.

That you could complain constantly about the lack of physical attention then slap DP's hands away when his innocent and gentle brush of your boobs turns your nipples into painful top-hats.

That even with DC1, sometimes you just show really early (think 9 weeks).

That, having made the decision not to drink alcohol as you just don't want to, people would keep saying 'Go on, you can have one' and not let it drop. Ever.

That eating pickled onions and chocolate biscuits in combination could be so tasty and satisfying.

That having been an avid cyclist (80-100 miles a week), you'd be unable to climb a small flight of stairs without huffing and puffing by week 13.

That, after living with a farting man for 7 years, you can finally best him with a world-beating bottom trumpeting.

That cats find you endlessly fascinating when you're pg, even before you know and that they'll want to sit on you continually purring and fussing.

My hips kill me at night!

oh my god, yes, the cats - one of my cats has taken to sitting on me every night and grooming my hands! It's so strange...

That I would start shouting at people pushing in front of me at the bus stop.

That even when hardly showing, I would not be able to tie my shoelaces.

That I would be so out of breath walking for 1 minute up a small hill that I would feel like throwing up.

How people stare at you when you are visibly pregnant and how annoying it is that they don't know you are when you can't tell.

That you can have period pains for the 1st few months of pregnancy and worry you are having a miscarriage.

the tiredness. I've never ever felt this tired ever.

Hi All,

I have just sat and read the first 4 pages and have laughed until I really cried (not sure why I actually cried though!!). Unfortunatley, I have it all to come so not sure why I am laughing. Is probably the way ppl have written them :)

We have just found out that I am pregnant with our first child, yeah!!. Although still early days (approx 4-5 weeks, we think) yet, but am already finding that I need the toilet more regular than normal and cry and the slightest thing and yes my nipples in this cold weather are like bullets there that hard and sore.

Not looking forward to the other things though, lol

xx