Well nobody mentioned THAT!! Things I never thought about pregnancy until I actually got pregnant

[heylottie]

I consider myself fairly well read on all things fertility and baby, having been ttc for some time. But now I am pregnant there are things that I am still surprised about.

1. Drool - I am sure I never used to wake up in The Pool of Drool that now greets me every morning
2. Baby gender - was always adament that I would never want to find out the sex, but MY GOD the temptation to ask at the 20 week scan was nearly overwhelming! I didn't but golly...
3. That I would need panty liners some days (TMI? yes but still)
4. That listening to Matchstick Men and Matchstick Cats and Dogs on the radio had me wailing (I don't expect this one to be universal)
5. The amount of people who, when you tell them of back ache, gripes and pain, say 'well it will only get worse' triumphantly.
6. That when the baby kicks my first response is still (sometimes) 'Oh I need to fart.'

Any more???

Not 'blooming' in the second trimester?

I think the return to teenage acne has been a particular unexpected thrill. I think my body has decided I no longer need to look attractive now I'm pregnant so I've reverted to having the complexion of a teenage boy.

And the bloating - looking four months pregnant in the morning but seven months pregnant by lunchtime (with other mums teling me 'they didn't show at all til they were 20 weeks' - aaargh!)

Heartburn- I should've had shares in Gaviscon I was swigging it out of the bottle like a loon at the end!!
Skin tags- still finding them 2.7 yrs on....
Too much lady juice and big fat 'bits'...
Gas of all descriptions
Snoring like a wild boar.
Mafahoosive boobs- and painful ones so couldn't even benefit DP.
FAT FEET AND ANCLES- could only wear flat nana sandles in the end but that didn't matter as I had lost any sense of style and my ancles were HUGE.
Spent last 2 months cuddling huge bolster cushion in bed- couldn't stand knees or ancles rubbing each other.
Hmmm- that's it for now.

Random nosebleeds and so much nose mucus you have to go to sleep with a towel over the pillow.

Even though you push out an 8lb baby and discharge 400 gallons of fluid you hardly lose any weight and have "duvet stomach"

That alhough all your friends had constipation and rabbit pooh while on iron tablets, for some reason you will get the total opposite. Jesus, just before and after the birth I could have shat for England. I thought the hospital toilet would never cope.

I learned about after pains from the woman in labour in the bed next to me.

omg. seriously there should be a secret list that gets given you at your first appointment saying...
That your wee smells really wierd
Your nipples can be so sore they feel like they might fall off when cold
Yas the balooning breasts.
That you lose your mind. Yesterday I got to the checkout in tesco, unloaded the trolley and realised I had picked up someone elses half way round. had to go all the way round again!

Let's see, no one told me about implantation bleeding or pain, what a surprise! Dr/midwife said- Normal but not always common

No one told me that you could feel twinging pain for weeks on and off due to stretching! Dr said-Normal but not always common

No one told me you could actually be tired for months at a time, starting sooner than they write in the books... thanks! Dr said... do I even have to say it? Normal... but not always common.

I'm at 22 weeks, still tired, still have twinges here and there, started to have nose bleeds too. And red meat makes me feel sick to just think about it. And constipation... oh my god how cruel is this? And of course the moodswings, I was told about them... but wanting to rip off someone's head for no real reason and thinking how nice it would look mounted above my mantel... well... It's not so much fun. Dr still says normal. Baby may be an only child.

First trimester spots.

Dizzy spells and fainting in random places with no warning.

Complete loss of work ethic/any motivation.

Excrutiating sore bottom from sacroiliac joint and contemplating if you could just hover over your desk chair instead of sitting down all day.

Finding yourself trying to cut bread with a spoon.

The pregnancy police scolding you for doing too much/being lazy/drinking diet coke/breathing incorrectly etc etc.

How baby brain completely removes words from your mind so you just pause mid sentence unable to remember the word 'purple' or 'water'.

I wish someone had told me about the dreams. They are awful. Upsetting, terrifying, creepy and totally surreal. The one last night was freaky alien parasites and zombies................. nice

Oh and the burping. I sound like Barney from The Simpsons and I'm only 10+3!! Obviously got so many more joys to come!

I wish someone had warned me how every person you come into contact with in the last 6 weeks will tell you how big you are, and how the baby is going to be large. And then how you will feel compelled to drag them outside by their hair and give them a damn good kicking.

Apart from the severe morning sickness (which, by the way, does not automatically stop when you get to 12 weeks despite what people tell you), the absolute worst thing now is the restless legs at night. I literally have to circle my bedroom until i fall into bed. This results in cramp. The SPD is nothing compared to the uncontollable leg spasms!!

I also wonder if my feet will return to normal and i will look less like a clown once he's born.

My husband mentioned on saturday that i should keep the dress i was wearing for a wedding for 'next time'. My response was in line with 'not on your life pal', but with much more swearing and a look that would freeze boiling water.

35 weeks and counting...can you tell?

that I would have headaches EVERY SINGLE DAY for two months in a row

also agree that I thought I would eat normally and exercise some self control... I'm so hungry that I've just had my third cheese sandwich of the evening!

Haven't read the whole post, so apologies if this has been mentioned:

LACTATING ARMPITS!!!!!!

I mean, WHAT?!

My biggest "niggle" at the minute is I am sat here on my daughters swimming ring due to sodding piles, which I am sure are a direct result of the constipation I have had for most of this pregnancy (despite craving fruit and water. Have gone from can't poo to daren't poo!

Also, I can only imagine the suprise of my postman when I wrote an angry letter to the elecrtic company, popped it in the postbox and realised half a second too late that the stamp was still in my purse. Tried to go in post office to explain mishap, but post office shut. So only thing to do was write another letter, to the postman, exlpaining pregnancy related stupidity and attach stamp which I then posted afterwards. No idea if it got there but living in hope.

Another joyous moment was having a pleasant chat with the neighbours, going inside and realising my breasts were going in for a practice run and had attractive stains around nipples.

Not to mention the nosebleeds, headaches, dangerous sneezes that cause incontinence, nightmares about not being able to draw triangles because I had no protractor or compass, begging strangers to let me use their loo, and the weird shooting pains I get up my fanjo occasionally that make me exclaim loudly in public.

Oh, the joys!

That my nipples would actually grow and be so painful I would cry about them.
The you are just meant to live with this pain as being 'one of those things'.
That everyone will want to tell you horrific stories about birth.
That everyone will say 'oh so there's only one in there then like they're the first person to have ever said it - and I've hardly even got a bump so it's not because I'm huge!
The vaginal discharge.
That I would mostly feel really grumpy, hate people invading my personal space and just generally look like a miserable cow even though this is the most exciting thing that has ever happened to me.

i've sneezed once every single day of pregnancy (im 12+3) no cold or allergies, just 1 single sneeze a day!

i didnt know i wouldnt want to do the ironing, at all, i suffer at doing the washing up, other chores arent so bad, but ironing is just impossible, i start, do about 3 tops and go 'aarrgh! can't be arsed! can be arsed! cant be arsed!' and turn it off! and i noticed this started literally after the conception, before any sore boob symptoms started!

LOVE this post. currently off work with D & V (just back from belated honeymoon - nice). have lost 3kg in 3 days, plus side bump now looks like a pregnant bump rather than just from eating too many crisps!

NIPPLES - the pain, still have to gently rub them back to life, poor husband thinks his luck is in - hah - fat chance. excrutiating doesnt begin to describe it.

TIREDNESS - the books all say you will feel tired, seriously tho, at your booking appt they should sign you off from all work/duties.

DREAMS - so far i have given birth to a full size child then thrown it down the stairs just to check that is real, protected Phil Mitchell from being shot and had an exploding belly!

and just generally feeling that you are living in a parallel universe.

great tho aye?

That I would have the nose of a sniffer dog including being able to smell unwashed hair,burps, every single fart emitted in my office by anyone. And that EVERY smell would make me puke.
And that I would nearly have to get my husband to pull a half done pooh out of my bum such was my oonstipation afterwards. I had to sit with my new born on the toilet many times trying to plop.
That the sandpaper strip on matchboxes is delicious.

I remember the drool. I mean, why? How does that help your body nurture a baby?

I had an easy pregnancy, but got annoying blocked ears all the time which would stop for a while if I bent over so my head hung upside down. Memories of me on holiday saying to DH in the street "Hang on, I have to put my head upside down!" and standing there like some kind of pregnant mime artist.

PaulineCampbellJones - sandpaper...? Eh?

It was pica - I wanted to lick sandpaper and the only stuff available at the time was on the bottom of a box of those really long matches. Didn't last long thankfully!

That morning sickness isn't a romantic affimation of your pregnancy that only strikes for 15 minutes in the morning and ends at 12 weeks. It is indeed constant vomitting for at least 23-24 weeks and last 24 hours a day.

When I had my first DS, I had him so quick, whole labour from beginning to end was 45mins, caused my poor pelvis no end of trouble, couldn't walk for a couple of weeks after.

Until I went to see my GP and burst into tears as he told me to hop on the couch, I can't bloody walk let alone hop!!! I said, he manipulated my pelvis back into position with a very loud crack that my mother heard in the waiting room .

1. That morning sickness would make me want to jump off a bridge and that it was all day sickness - particularly 'violently-ill-in-the-evening-sickness'

2. That I would develop proper full-on acne - the kind that cannot be covered up with trowel loads of make up and that looks like braille all over your skin. And that this acne would also appear on my neck, chest back, upper arms etc...

3. That if you have a low bed - your DH will have to heave you up from it every time you want to stand up.

4)Breathlessness and pain in the ribs that feels like you have just done the Cindy Crawford work-out video when in reality you have been lying on the bed reading Grazia and eating a Crunchie.

5)That when you find out you are pregnant and are supposed to eat wonderfully healthy food such as oily fish, vegetables, and brown rice, all you can actually manage is dry toast, and that when you do get a desire to eat all you want is McDonalds and Dominoes Pizza (we spent a small fortune on Dominoes in the first trimester). Vegetables will make you wretch, throw up, cry.

6)That everyone wants to offer you advice and assumes that you know NOTHING (and they speak to you like you are five years old) or that you know EVERYTHING (and fail to tell you the important information and facts that you actually need to know!!)

Oh my god... I am actually crying with laughter at this thread!! Absolutely hilarious!!!

A lot of these have been mentioned already but mine are:

1. The constipation. No desire to go to the loo for days and days on end then it's like passing nearly set concrete (sorry if TMI!).

2. The need to buy sanitary towels during pregnancy because my underwear is soaked within ten minutes of getting dressed thanks to the astonishing quantities of discharge.

3. That not everyone gets the "energy surge" in the second trimester!

4. That morning sickness (or "morning, noon and night sickness") doesn't always end around 12 weeks (it was over 20 weeks before I could say that I was over the worst).

5. That turning over in bed will eventually require a crane.

6. Where the hell did this nipple pain come from??!!! OMG!!!

7. That almost every person I meet insists on exclaiming "Oh my god, you're HUGE! Are you sure it's not twins???" when I tell them that I am only 27 weeks pg.

8. The fact that I can actually win money from mates through betting that people I meet will exclaim "Oh my god, you're HUGE!! Are you sure it's not twins???" when I tell them that I am only 27 weeks pg. (There has to be an upside somewhere, doesn't there?!)

9. That's it's possible to hate being pregnant. And that's OK.

Thanks to everyone for a hugely entertaining hour reading this thread!!!