40's + Mums and Mums to Be.

[johnworf]

Hello, good evening, and welcome. Our ovaries are tired and withered but we've still managed it despite what the Daily Mail says!

Come on in for a gossip, cake, parenting tips and the nonstop drivel interesting chat.

Newbies welcome :-)

tee the second stage milk made no difference to D when I tried it on him (except to cause constipation)I think it is just a phase they go throuogh - he will settle down (only to start up again later )

Well, D slept in his big cot from 9pm til 6am! had a bottle then went back down 'til 8am (when he had another bottle) The Amby is no more!

In York the standard of schools is pretty high (as are house prices ) so we are stuck on the edge of a rough area and hence the catchment area is crap and well, I'm not too sure about the schools. We may have to move...

right, busy busy

Hallooo typing with baby on shoulder, this will take ages.

Tee I think our AJs have synchronised watches - those were just about Arthur's hours too! And he won't let me put him down - 1st day sans DH and he's fallen asleep twice but yelled as soon as he's twigged he's not on me. I may get nothing done.

JW I dont think our view are that far apart really. I don't mind experienced MWs of either sex having an opinion but the way it's expressed is key, and a man who seems to be bossing women about labour pain is bound to provoke. I don't object to female docs specialising in the prostate, or rheumatologists with healthy joints, as long as they don't pretend they know what the pain is like.

And of course I'm all for the fantastic interventions and vital medical help that has meant safe deliveries for Katherine, Niamh, JJ's girls and so many other precious LOs

Men in primary schools - uphill struggle, that one. DD has had one (camp as a row of tents and vg) male teacher, and there is one full-time and 1 supply at DS1's infant school but that's a record!

JJ, at your local stats! 3 yrs behind! They really need to get some great head teachers in to whup everybody's asses and start addressing the problems in a radical way. DD has just got her SATs results - level 5 in everything, without consciously trying, like most of her friends. Most of them aren't geniuses; it's just a mostly middle-class catchment in a 'nice' part of town and the parents have books at home and make sure their DC get to school on time. I do understand how challenging some catchments are, but 3 years difference is mind-blowing! . Love your typo - a two-tired system is about right

Cotton nappy question (probably to the expert JW): Day 1 of using Bimbles - the ones with the tuck-in booster, and I put in a fleece liner and used Totsbots size 1 wrap tightly done up but already we've had wee leakage on one side twice! Any tips? Thank you!

Mrsb Can D send some big boy sleep message to Adam and Arthur please? 9 til 6!

ermintrude can only think that you've had a leak due to the tuck in fleece liner not being folded over to the front of the nappy (as opposed to lying it flat inside the nappy). Fold over where his willy is - at the front.

He might be a big wee baby so if you have any boosters, put one in too. Microfibre or bamboo are good but anything will do for his size.

Are you using a one way liner on top of your fleece? I normally do. Just so I can stick the poo straight into the loo.

The wrap sounds fine but just make sure the nappy isn't poking out anywhere around the tops of his legs

mrsb mebbe this is the breakthrough you've been waiting for! Excellent news though whatever it's down to

mrsb Fab job D!! And I agree with erm send some of those sleep vibes to the AJ's!!

erm there was at least one day last week that I got nothing done because all he wanted was me me me. Hence the buying of the sling, which I hope gets here soon! I watched a lot of West Wing on DVD that day!

Helllooo all - sounds like you've all had lovely weekends. I had a lie-in today and then a leisurely breakfast trying to catch up with you all. I thought this sprog was going to be a little swine as I had rumbling period-pains on friday evening. Grrr ... was thinking can't you give me even a DAY off? But fortunately they went away and haven't been felt since.
Spent yesterday running round after M in the garden (she was being a wingey little swine) and then could hardly walk all evening as my hips/inside legs where they join my body all seized up and were agony. Is that SPD or just overdoing it? Had a lovely "greek style" BBQ last night with lots of yummy stuff and good friends - just missing the lashings of cold beer and wine (sigh).

Tee and Emrintrude - have you tried swaddling the little ones? I found it great as they feel like they're still being hugged. A friend who had triplets (and a toddler) said when she put a baby down she sometimes put a large book up against their side as it felt like mum's arm was still there!!

jw about the men in schools. My dad took early retirement and went to the local primary school (you will know it) - very deprived area - lots of single parents. He offered to do volunteer work in the classrooms to help with readding and to be a good male role-model for the kids. The school said they'd have to do the checks on him - he said fine and yes of course - he's worked for local government for years. But they didn't do the check and didn't contact him again. Bloody waste of a free offer! In the end Dad went and did a teaching qualification and is now doing it and paid!

dawntigga I lived in Knutsford for a few years and am now in south manchester. Have to say - you haven't made it yet if you haven't BF in Booths

Oh and not really surprised at all about no card from work - bunch of sad-geek selfish git blokes - they'd all just assume that someone else would have done it. Did think maybe the bloke sitting next to me might have done something as it was his 30th a month ago and I arranged a card, helium balloon, signs everywhere and a big cake .... [hmmm] oh well.

Hi all, survived soft play AND met someone lovely! I've met her before but through some of the 'mumzillas' however it appears she's as hacked off with them as me! She lives just round the corner too. Maybe I'm starting to throw out the right vibes for meeting nice people.

mrsB wow - good going on giving up the Amby - that's superb news.

tee Sounds like Master A might just want a lot of holding - think once that sling arrives you may be onto a winner.

erm Yep - schools here are tragic - but it's a consequence of the grammar structure. If you're not a feeder school with a high 11+ pass rate then the funding isn't brilliant. A friend is head of a department at a School in Notts just where you are and he said it's amazing and a joy to teach in.
Faith schools here are SO over-subscribed that when I rang around not one child was taken on catchement....ALL had a priest recommendation...and min was 2 years, 3x a month attendance!!!!

I agree though - a good head should really be able to turn the school around but there has been way too much pandering to the problems - siting them as 'cultural' and I think that's wrong. If over 30% of your class disappear to Pakistan twice a year for two months then this HAS to be addressed ...surely? And if violent behaviour is ignored then that too should be stopped. But our local primary school HAS to have police on the gates because the parents are involved in sink estate gang wars. Irony is, exactly 1.2 miles away where Iris goes, the school's SATS run at 100% english / 98%maths /98% science and yep, it's (lower) middle class. But it also has more than average Special Needs and an outstanding Ofsted because of the clever way they deal with this....hence why I'm driven like a mad woman to get her in there!! Oh - the SATS for the local sink school ALL come in at under 32% No chance for social mobility there then..

climbs of soap box and makes cup of tea....muttering I hate the grammar system, it's private education via the back door grrrrrrrrrr chunter, chunter !!!

Ah JJ I'd forgotten you were in grammar school land - my worst nightmare in terms of education because I completely disapprove of selective schools but wouldn't want to make my DC the victims of my high horse attitude, if that metaphor works at all . The choice here (apart from private) is community or faith, and in this neck of the woods the former are just as good as the latter, so it makes it nice and easy for us - no ethical dilemmas or need to sit on priests' faces etc... Heaven forbid. And you're right, it's possible to average great SATs whilst offering an ideal education for children of all needs: it's the range of SATs that counts ie. are bright children without special needs getting top marks and are those who need more help getting much improved scores? So hope you'll get your girls in the good place.

Bonzo Baby likes to wave his arms around and has responded angrily to swaddling thus far but maybe he's just a bit hyper-sensitive to any change of position at the mo. It's weird, he's gone down in his basket for hour or 2-hour naps for the past week but now it's just him and me in the house he's a Klingon. I may try a swaddle next time I get him dozy.

Tee We're getting thru The Wire at a great pace

god LO fell off our bed! he was napping on it. there were pillows all around him as barriers. he screamed blue murder! he seems fine now. should i take him to a&e?

heron I would, just to be safe. When we got Adam there after he fell on the floor everyone said it was the right thing to do.

bonzo He is always either swaddled or at least in a grobag. And today? He's been asleep since about 10am, with one 10 minute wake up for less than half a bottle. Including 2 nappy changes and a trip to Argos and around City Centre! And I thought he had his days and nights figured out!!

erm ooh, I have the first season of that...after I finish West Wing.

ok tee will ring doc

Hello another newbie here. 40 and 24 weeks after miraculous first time IVF . Not sure how long it'll take me to read the whole thread so I'll just say can I please slap everyone who asks why I left it so long? Yes I spent 8 years fighting for fertility treatment out of choice

welcome bellatrixiata!! Slap away! We have your back! And congratulations!!!! I just had Adam 1 month and 2 days ago at the age of 40.

heron I think that's a good idea.

Thanks! And well done for Adam's safe arrival

Also for the licence to slap - my hands might get sore though

crumbs heron - was it a hard floor or carpet?

Oh lordy heron Poor you Please let us know how your LO gets on.

Hi bella nice to have some more preggie ladies on here as we're running out of them...fast! I wouldn't even try and keep up with the beginnings of this thread (in it's umpteenth reincarnation) Best all round if you just dive in

bonzo glad you're making the most of your last week. Sod the men at the office. Never do owt for them again!

JJ pleased that you met someone nice for a change. All of us here excepted natch

DD#1 has taken to her bed. Not sure if it's the infection in her system or the strong AntiB's. Going to get her a bit of shopping and give him some tea and sympathy.

it was carpet and luckily our bed is not high up. LO seems recovered. i am still shaking. i am so stupid to let himcontinue nap on our bed.

Quick pop by as the girls are in a highly demanding kinda mood! We're emptying the toy box!

heron personally I'd just keep an eye on him - you'll know if something doesn't seem right...and if so just go straight to A&E. I did the same with Iris but it was onto a hard floor and I did go to A&E ....but only because it was such a hard bump.

bella HELLO - CONGRATs and welcome to another 40 plus mum-to-be. Like jw said, most of us ahve popped and we hang around like a bad smell!! How brilliant that your first time IVF worked - you guys must be thrilled. I shan't slap you as I only had my DD1 at 41 and then popped out DD2 at 42...amazing how surprising fertile you can be when you're least expecting it Do stay for cake and a chat...and feel free to share aches and pain, moans and worries! x

bonzo arse to the miserable bunch at work.. I had mild SPD at 20 weeks...didn't effect me second time until 2 weeks before cs date.....feels as though your pelvis/hips may just snap! Horrid but I do believe it's hormones preparing for the big parting of the ways!!

OK - I'm off - the girls are demanding my attention. I shall placate them by waving a doll in one hand and a banana in the other

Like the tactics JJ

Ok, big dilemma. First case of swine flu at DSS's school. Am very tempted to keep him away as he's only 4 days left. School recommends sending the LO's in but myself and DH reckon that half the school will be missing tomorrow.

Any ideas ladies? I obviously don't want DSS to be ill but even moreso, I'd hate for K to be ill

Bit of a whiney x post all the typo police have fun if you're lurking.

Sam looks like he's trying to feed to go through the night 3 days ago we had a bad night feeding like a demon all afternoon till late. Day after he was so tired he went to sleep a bit hungry I think. Yesterday was the same as the first day and today is identical

Can anyone tell me how soon it takes for your boobs to catch up with a sudden switch in demand like this? He's crying his heart out and he only EVER cries if he's been hurt e.g. injection or hungry. He's draining boobs left right and because I'm a mutant centre Mummy is very upset because Sam is upset!

VeryCloseToTearsTiggaxx

tigga sounds like growth spurt! i think it takes up to 5 days. so it should be soon! wont be long hugs to you cos it must be tough.

LO is ok. will continue to keep eye on him.

bella welcome fantastic about your IVF working first time! so whats ur story? tell us 8 yrs you were fighting the system?

i am 43 and have a 5 yr old and a 6 month old

jw dont blame you if you keep ur kids from school. what a nightmare! it is everywhere now isnt it? i am washing my hands a lot more. every time we get back from outside, we all wash our hands.

heron glad it was only the carpet. Just keep an eye on him and maybe it's time he didn't sleep on the bed anymore. That time sneaks up on us all .

welcome bella - yes do tell about the 8 years. And you won't need to slap us ... we're all doing it later than the Daily Mail says we should

jw does DS want to go to school? If he does really then I then maybe he should ... last days of school are special (but hten they don't do anything much accademically). You could always make him have a shower and change as soon as he comes in the door afterwards. I do understand about you worrying about K though. But maybe while it is still mild it is less to worry about? Tough call.

Awww dawntigga righty ho - I also think it's a growth spurt. From personal experience (and boy was Verity a prolific feeder!) this is when I started to pump, in addition to relentless feeding and I found after a couple of days - whooosh - more milk! Plus (and a big one in my book!) I started to stock up my freezer!! Have to say though - it was CBeebies on the box - toys everywhere and a few mates round who didn't mind me looking like a milking machine! to get me through it with DD1!!! HTH xx

jw If it was me - he'd be at home. Schools/kids - they're a germ fest. Usually I wouldn't give a fig but if I had K to think of then for me it'd be a no-brainer for a few days. We've had our first brush - a girl (on my FB) who we see running a playgroup has gone down with it. Sadly she's now in isolation and seriously ill with breathing difficulties as she has, what is the term of the moment - an underlying condition.

Right off to have a scrap with the tax credit office...wish me luck! As much as I'd love to keep the spoils (it's a HUGE sum!) they're getting on my nerves now!

Well we've spoken to DSS and not done any scaring on him. He wants to stay home with us. He's asthmatic and K has chronic lung disease. I really do not want this coming to us. I know everyone is the same but we've got bad chest city here already. That bad cold/bronchiolitis at the end of Feb this year sent K to hospital so it doesn't bear thinking about.

So, he's staying here with us. Only 4 days left and Friday is play day anyway. No homework, no reading and he's doing nothing in school that is important. Sorted. Gosh, it's not even got going yet. Post September and I reckon the country will come to a stand still with people off work with it (or pretending to have it!).

Think may revise August curfew and bring forward. Online shopping only from now on.

JJ tax credits cock up? Surely not! Makes a change to be overpaid. They'd only find out in a year or so and demand it all back so best to be upfront (unless they insist you keep it - unlikely though). Btw, once you have some sort of diagnosis for Iris (you don't need a statement), you can claim for DLA. You may not got highest component but you will probably get something.