40's + Mums and Mums to Be.

[johnworf]

Hello, good evening, and welcome. Our ovaries are tired and withered but we've still managed it despite what the Daily Mail says!

Come on in for a gossip, cake, parenting tips and the nonstop drivel interesting chat.

Newbies welcome :-)

Hi all - sorry for not posting - veeeeeeerry tired. N sleeps really well though how much is due to the residue of anaesthetic or not I don't know. Just grateful. 3 hourly feeds hten sleeping is good.

Neddie - just got rid of my mum - know what you mean about matricide. Bless her she meant well but was driving me (and DH)absolutely nuts.

jw - more teeth!! - blimey they're coming thick and fast! well done K!

making flapjack & muffins with DS1 whilst DS2 sleeps (times like these I really resent his allergies - oh for being able to bung a digestive at him! )
have put pic on profile. take care all x

Awww iris she is so beautiful. Lovely dark hair and her eyes open. Pics like that are dangerous to me...make me broody.

Going through that sleep deprivation stage too? You and tee need a chat (if either of you are awake long enough!)

I couldn't do a day with my mother so well done you for biting lip until she'd gone

Sounds very positive that she's feeding so well. Keep up the good work

K has a way to go to catch up to D (he is the teef master ) but she's not doing bad. I'm hoping that soon enough she'll be able to bite through something instead of sucking all of her food to death!

afternoon all

Am quite literally deluged under a pile of housework. Have been sorting laundry and trying to regain control of the ridiculous amount of clothes in my bedroom, not helped by the two cots taking up loads of space. Bit of a arse having to spend the weekend clearing up the chaos that builds up during the week.

Have decided that the Amby is being dismantled this very day (sob) and we will all just have to suffer until the little man accepts his fate.

Iris N looks beautiful - and looks so alert!

Will be back later to catch up!

what a load of toss

pain in labour makes you better prepared for the demands of motherhood?? does it buggery.

I love that its a man writing this...

He's probably like all the men I know; a cold is the flu and reaches for a painkiller at the first twinge of a headache. If it was up to men, we'd have died out thousands of years a go.

That's like me writing a piece on premature ejaculation !

Oh mrsb a sad time that he's going to the big boy's cot. He'll get used to it. Can you put the sheets from the Amby into his cot (in with him, not stretched to fit the mattress) so he has a familiar smell? Just until he gets used to it

Enjoy your housework. I'm waiting for the big 'uns descending to eat dinner.

Shizzle.

he has the same blanket anyway whether in the Amby or cot so we have the smell thing covered jw. He is asleep now in the cot quite happily so when he wakes the Amby goes.

makes me a feel a teeny bit sad putting it away forever

Hi All

I've been asleep most of the day. Thank god for my DH!

jw more teeth! Yayaya K!

iris beautiful babies you make, girl! I'm right there with you on the lack of sleep thing.

mrsb sniff at putting the Amby away. They grow up so fast!

tee the sling you ordered looks very much like the one i have. it is so easy to wear!

iris lovely babies, and your girlie looks so serene and cute in her blanket

heron yay for dry nights

mrsb I wouldn't have worded it quite like that but agree with the basis of what the midwife chap said (so sue me ). For me, childbirth x 3 hurt but it wasn't 'agony', was forgotten immediately afterwards and my recovery was quick. A lot of interventions are used because we're so unprepared for labour pain, just like we're not culturally prepared for breastfeeding, having lost touch to some extent with the way our bodies work. Pain with a purpose - ie. now the uterus is contracting, now the cervix is effacing, now the urge to push arrives, now the head is crowning - and then hurrah, the baby is born and the pain is over except for the post-natal pains everyone has to deal with, however they labour - is not like being a martyr to a migraine for days on end. When women are tired and upset and not progressing it's a different matter and banning pain relief would obviously be crazy, but there are a lot of healthy women who are just terrified at the notion of labour and who therefore opt early on for interventions which can end up causing more damage and delay than working through a natural labour would.

/ ducks as the shoes come flying towards my head

Evening all. Wow - we had such a lovely day. Iris was unusally chatty and came out with a classic line "Look Mamma that cockerel is eating an apple" I turned round...and bugger me - there was indeed a cocekrel eating an apple The cream teas were marvellous too! Oh I love Oxfordshire...so near - yet so unaffordable!

JW more teeth - excellent. Verity still only has 5 with another just making its way through. Sympathies for you having to suffer F1 followed by cricket...pur-lease!

iris she's gorgeous and really alert and sparkly! Oh I hate it when that deep, stubborn tiredness kicks in.

tee Yee ha that you got chance to catch up on some sleep.

mrsb hope you finished the chores
Can't comment on childbirth pain....all I know is C-section two was marvellous but emerg cs was horrendous and the pain lasted long after a traditional childbirth.

I feel a tad sad. I offered Verity some nork juice tonight and she was having none of it. I know she's only been having some in the evening but now it's clearly not for her. It's good that she's happy - almost 14 months and I've really surprised myself. Didn't expect to be feeling quite so sad about it....silly moo!!

I don't disagree with anything you say ermintrude - in an ideal world we would all give birth like that but we don't live in an ideal world.

The point he is making is a different one to yours, I think, I agree with you that natural is better where possible and less likely to lead to interventions but I don't think that enduring hours or days of pain makes you any better a better mum or that it should be a right of passage at the end of which you somehow "deserve" the baby and are better prepared to look after it. No- one ever gets a pain free birth anyway.

I have never had post natal pains however- never even heard of it!

ahh no more nork juice and no more Amby - toddlerhood beckons!

blimey, Iris knows what a cockerel is?? there's not many 2 yr olds would!

Oh more teeth for K - soon she'll be doing the spoon biting trick that D has just perfected. Spoon goes in but spoon doesn't come back out.

cream teas

\drools

JJ you're prolly the same as mrsb as you're seeing them grow before your eyes. It is sad but also good and we all know they don't stay small forever (I've just fed my lot and can vouch for it).

Can see what you're saying ermintrude and agree to an extent that labout pains are indeed productive pains. I've had 2 with pain relief (first epidural, second gas & air) and 2 with nowt. As I've said before, I'd never have had an epidural after the first as it caused me so many problems afterwards but gas & air was fine. Also, that was my personal choice. I think that women need the choice to decide. Afterall, you got your choice to have a home birth and no induction. Some women don't have a high pain threshold and if they don't think they can cope and it would make their birthing experience better, then they should have it

JJ sounds like Iris is doing really well with the speech and it's coming along. They really do all get there in the end they just do it when they're ready

Awww mrsb D will be walking soon and then it'll be his 1st b'day and then you'll start thinking, I know, I think it's time for another! yay. Then you can be the first on this thread to have another one...there's a prize in it for you (you win a bouncing baby )

OMG mrsb you never had post natal pains??? Blimey. When I was b/f I think the afterpains were worse than the labour pains! At least the labour stopped once the baby came out

I'll wait and see what she does with the spoon...it's hard enough getting it past her lips. She's been biting me today. She got the end of my nose and my cheek Also pinching is trick du jour.

Wonder if hedgepig has a sore bottom ?

Yaya another cranky boy evening! He is so obviously tired, with very heavy eyes, but just.won't.sleep!!! BABIES!!

I guess my take on that article is why feel pain if you don't have to? I am not one to have an opinion, since I had an elective CS with a spinal, but I really don't see the point of suffering if you don't have to.

However, erm this reminds me of the conversation early in the June Thread...whatsheface disappeared just after it, remember?

Did someone mention Zoe Ball? I snogged her ex-husband once when he was a Housemartin

UseToBeRockAndRollTiggaxx

nope, never had post natal pains and ever had Braxton Hicks. I seriously had never heard of it even.

Well, here goes with the first post-Amby night -I hope he sleeps as I have major work-related undertakings tomorrow and for the rest of the week. He should be knackered - he has been extremely boisterous tonight.

tee if a MAN can have an opinion then you bloody well can!

I think the only really difficult time we had with D was when he was about 6 weeks old - he would scream every night between 6 and 10 - it was tiredness pure and simple.

dawn do you know something we don't about Zoe Ball? I think that she's still married to Norman Cook and he's the daddy! Woot @ your claim to fame snogging though

dawntigga, Were you a starf*er in your day then, you minx?

JW I'd never try to force someone to have a particular kind of birth, it would be completely counter-productive, and choice is important. But I know several mums who were planning on having pethidin or epidurals and for whatever reason - speedy birth, under-staffed hospital etc. - ended up having a natural labour and they were all pleasantly surprised at how well they managed to cope. They hadn't been confident they could do it at all. (I'm sure there are some mums who are extremely annoyed at not getting the pain relief they'd planned as well).

And MrsB I do see your interpretation of that MW's words and also don't rate the idea that labour is a test you have to pass or suchlike. The post-natal pains I meant were afterpains and all other down-below healing and pelvic floor-related complaints; my SIL has 4DC and only had afterpains once so it must be the luck of the draw.

JJ 14 months is v good going on the b/feeding, but I know what you mean when they 'reject' the breast. Made me very for a little while. DH 'jokes' that I'll be unable to let go of my littlest one and so still be feeding Arthur when he's doing his GCSEs .

Tee hope your sling gives you hands-free time to turn the pages of trashy magazines do household chores

morning all thanks for your lovely comments about N. Little madam was up from 10 until 2.45 last night though I'm feeling surprisingly awake at the moment (autopilot then crash & burn later methinks )

ermintrude - haven't read the article but sort of agree with you. I think that cultural/personal expectation has a huge impact on how we cope with labour. I know that the only labour where I had clear expectations was the worst (DS1). Strangely enough though, I count Niamh's as a really positive experience despite having the most extreme intervention possible!!

slings knew I meant to get something out!! Tee enjoy using yours!

Alas, I have no claim to fame, snogging, f**king, or otherwise. There is not one person you would know if I reeled off a list of who I'd snogged

ermintrude as I said initially, I see what you're saying. Really, I do I think the whole article got off to a bad start the fact it's written by someone i.e. male, that could never understand, empathise or have the faintest notion of how labour pains feel. It's on par with a man writing about abortion. He's really asking for a backlash if he's prepared to be so provocative in his article imho. I'm not gonna say anything else about this as I think I've said all I have to

I see the latest government (doomed) initiative is the drive to get more men into primary schools. It'll never, oh I need to say that louder, NEVER, happen. It's seen a feminine environment like nursery nursing. Most men will not touch with proverbial barge pole.

We have a little bit of sun here today. Helps with the tiredness of dog barking during the night and K wanting a 4am feed. What that was about, I have no idea. Praps something to do with teeth? Mebbe. Who knows? Talking of guessing games...

.....tee how is LO doing? Was your night any better?

mrsb hope you're feeling a bit more chipper for your busy day at work today

iris you still there? Asleep perchance???

Morning all. GOsh - jw must have been something in the air as Iris was up twice and then Verity. It's the land of the living dead here. Was very sticky though.

dawntigga Oooo, what a gal I would of if I'd got the chance back then. Just thinking if I've had a celeb snog....????? Mmmmm? Almost!!

tee hope your night was better.

I heard today that the government are putting money towards more primary school places because of a rising population. Apparently in the last three years the birth rate has shot up. Makes it hard to understand why then, that our local council are about to close three good local schools Makes you wonder what it's going to be like by the time we need places - it's going to be a fight round here as so many people have also dropped the private schools. Just can't understand why education is such a low priority. They say it's not - but you've only got to look at the schools here to see it's such a two-tired system

A recent report from the local secondary school here said that the kids coming up from our local primary are approx 3 years behind the average child That's got to need addressing. I refuse to believe poor kids are stupid. It's got to be to do with the behaviour. Why can't this be sorted????

So many of the playgroups are shut now because of the holidays...grrrr....what DO you do with them all day when it's raining??!

Morning all.

Not too bad of a night, thanks for asking JW. He was up at 2:30 and then again at 5:30 and then up again at 7. He's back asleep now...do you think I dare make a pot of coffee?

The C&G 2 doesn't seem to have made a difference in how long he stays down/unhungry, however. As said before, I will confer with HV day after tomorrow!!

JJ the state of the world's education system scares me. Well, at least America's and here's. I agree, shouldn't it be a priority? But it never seems to be. I know nothing about schools in NI. Research into that is on my to do list over the next few months while I am still on leave.

iris I hope you are getting some more sleep!!

I too, alas, have never snogged etc anyone famous. I have worked with famous people, but never snogged etc them...

morning all! not raining here, quite bright and warm actually.

schools. the schools around here at terrible. so only options are private schools or church schools.

yes, poor kids are not dumb. they are just not given the right teaching. the stats do not make good reading.

Oh lordy, schools are such a hard one and are so hit and miss it's untrue. I was talking to one of the mums this morning asking if her son (in DSS's class) will be going to the local comp up the road where most do go. She's unsure as out of 14 schools in Bury, it's ranked 13. We won't be sending DSS there I hasten to add! However, we're not sure we're guaranteed a place anywhere else so it's really tricky.

One of the overriding reasons I had K christened was because the catholic schools in this area (and the area I lived before with the older LO's) are excellent. Over subscribed, but excellent. Like you say heron it's either faith or private and given the current climate, I'd say not many will be going for the latter.

Have a very exciting day ahead of me...off to Costco and doing some cleaning while madam is in bed, catching up on the zzzz's she missed at 4am. Have to get very organised this week as it's last week of peace before schools break up for the hols.

tee sorry to hear you're having no luck on the stage 2. Maybe your HV will be able to shed more light on the matter. Don't keel over with exhaustion in the meantime