I can't stop worrying - am I normal?

[mumsiebumsie]

Hello everyone,

I'm not normally one to panic but I'm almost 16 weeks pregnant and am just SO scared. It's my first one and the pregnancy was unexpected (although am so happy) but I just feel so unprepared. Also I didn't know I was pregnant till I was 8.5 weeks. In those first 9 weeks I had 2 dental xrays (without lead vest), drank wine, ate stilton once, took 2 days of penicillin, wore a really tight dress to a wedding, wasn't taking folic acid etc etc.

Everything I did just weighs on my mind at night and stops me sleeping. Am I normal? Should I mention each of the above things to my doctor/midwife, do I need to just chill out?

It's really getting me down and I can't enjoy my pregnancy

Tell me to shut up if I'm being an idiot.

Good news - Yes you are normal. Bad news - it never stops. I had the 12 week scan and stopped worrying........ for about 1 hour. 20 week scan and stopped worrying for about 2 hours. Even when they're born its just the beginning of a lifetime of worry (as far as I can see). I s'pose I have learnt to push the worry to the background a little bit.

I do think its particularly worrying first time as it is so unbelievable.

Also remember your hormones are all over the place.

If it helps to mention them to your midwife then do.

Finally with regard to the tight dress - shut up!!! You're being an idiot!!

I think you're perhaps worrying a little too much but you can't regret things you did before you knew you were pregnant. If you're so uptight the anxiety might be stressing out your baby - so do try and chill out as much as you can. The best way to do this is to talk to other mums-to-be (as long as they are not worrywarts as well!).

Re:Musthaveaveryshortmem's comment, I wouldn't be as pessimistic as to say it never stops. I don't know many people who worried so much as to say that they only stopped worrying for an hour - that sounds a little extreme to be honest. Children pick up on parental anxiety very early so it's important to try and chill out for their sake as well as your own.

Musthaveaveryshortmem Okay I hear you - I'll shut up. Seriously though I was up all night thinking about the tight dress and how it may have starved the baby of oxygen! But okay I won't mention that again. You sound like me though. After the 12 week scan I was so happy - a day later I was in a panic about the 20 week anomaly scan!

MrsJamin Very valid point re anxiety affecting the baby. I don't want to do more harm. I find my heart is racing the more I think about these things so I know I need to stop. Thanks for the advice.

Hello!! you poor thing! - I would say that the majority of women have done at least a few things they shouldnt have before realising they were pregnant. How many of us know we're pregnant at moment of conception.

With dd (now 4), I didnt find out until 8 weeks and had been (extremely) drunk, had smoked, ate smoked salmon, sushi and pate, wasnt taking folic acid to name but a few..

I felt absolutely awful, but that wasnt going to make any difference whatsoever, was it?, from then on I did my best to do everything "by the book" - thats all we can do! stop beating yourself up - agree with MrsJamin - best thing you can do now is to try be relaxed and positive to pass on to your little one.

BarbieLovesKen Very valid point - we don't know at the point of conception. If only we did! Thanks for the reality check, I really need it.

Im so sorry but laughing my bum off at tight dress! was wondering what that was all about!

Don't panic - the night before I found out I was pg with ds1 I went to a party dressed in a corset and necked a whole bottle of champagne (ah, life before kids - where did it go...?). He's healthy and bright, so it must have squeezed the blood to his head!

Sounds a good party ...

barbielovesken writing it down it does sound funny but I keep thinking that I may have starved the baby of oxygen as the dress was really tight!

katemumtwo your story gives me some hope! Thanks.