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Original poster

How many of you fell pregnant through the withdrawl method?

87 replies

devotion · 16/05/2009 21:43

This is the only form of contraception that we use and we never have sex during my ovulation week.

It worked for us both times before we had both our children.

This month we had sex a few times around my ovulation using the withdrawl method because we do not mind if I fall pregnant but not exactly trying iykwim. We will start ttc properly in a few months.

I am really interested to know how many of your babies were conceived this way?

It is actually not as easy as I use to think to fall pregnant, most of my friends spent 6mths - 2 years trying to conceive.

Plus I read somewhere that male sperm are faster swimmers but die sooner than females so if you conceived using the withdrawl method are you more likely to have a boy?

So please tell if you did fall pregnant this way and if you had a boy or girl.

Thanks!

OP posts:
Slickbird · 23/05/2009 23:52

Arsehole. (Him, not you.)

Katrina7 · 23/05/2009 23:53

i know

Slickbird · 23/05/2009 23:55

Are you still pg now?

Katrina7 · 23/05/2009 23:58

yes due end of aug. today was feeling v.sad and lonely and scared and i called him. he didn't answer. You?

Slickbird · 24/05/2009 00:01

Oh honey. So sorry to hear that. Am lucky, got DH and it was our third, but even at that, I felt incredibly trapped with it all. He's now 10 weeks old and just a little darlin. Really just an angel. Wish the same for you. Is it your first? How old are you?

Katrina7 · 24/05/2009 00:04

yes my first and i am 38. he is 38 too.can you believe it? from hearing the story and his behaviour you prob thought we are 15

Katrina7 · 24/05/2009 00:05

how old are you?

Slickbird · 24/05/2009 00:09
  1. Oh dear. Have you been together long?
Katrina7 · 24/05/2009 00:13

1 1/2 year but on and off. we split many times and i still loved him. now i dont but feel so empty to carry the baby of smone i dont love and doesnt love me

Katrina7 · 24/05/2009 00:15

funny thing is i wanted my pg and motherhood to be perfect thats why i didnt do it before. and is far from perfect

Slickbird · 24/05/2009 00:17

Am really sorry but am being chucked off computer by someone as staying at parents house tonight and he needs to work! (Yes, late). Will chat tomorrow.

Slickbird · 24/05/2009 00:19

Just quickly - he just left the room - I'd hang on in there. The situation isn't ideal, but you'll probably love this wee baby like nothing on earth - it'll be you and him/her all the way. And they bring you SOOOOOO much joy they really do. Better go.
Tryn get some sleep.

Katrina7 · 24/05/2009 00:19

dont worry. my pc also slow 2nite. take care

Katrina7 · 24/05/2009 00:21

dont worry honestly i m fine. gd night.

maxbear · 24/05/2009 01:46

I used it for about 6 months before both of mine then when I actually started trying conceived very quickly, so I reckon it works well. Could be fluke though!!

mamadiva · 24/05/2009 01:54

We used withdrawel method for 5 years before getting pregnant with DS.

Was a happy accident though, totally unexepcted and was 19 so had'nt even thought about kids.

And yes I was a bit thick in my younger days

lowrib · 24/05/2009 04:11

I used the withdrawal method with ex for 10 years without getting pregnant. We subsequently both had kids (with other people) the first month we didn't use withdrawal, so it turns out we both were fertile (I did used to wonder sometimes).

Original poster
devotion · 24/05/2009 18:21

Katrina7 - sorry to hear that!

My friend spilt with her partner when she was four months pregnant. Like all first time mums she found it hard at first like all first time mums and her ex was no use but she absolutley adored her little boy.

She manages really well with and after awhile got on good terms with her ex. She did not get back with him for other reasons. BUt she is really happy and loves her little boy.

At first it feels like all you are doing is just giving to this little person but as soon as you they give just you that little smile (around 6 weeks) and a giggle it makes all the hard work worth while.

You will be so amazed at how protective you feel about this little person you made and the love you get back off them is like no other. They love you ALL of the time! Its lovely.

Your ex sounds like he still has a few years to grow up! I'm sorry you've have to face such a big event in your life alone but when we are faced with challenges in life you just always get through. You look back and wonder why you worried so much. You're probably thinking easy for you to say! Im just relating to all the issues i've ever been overwhelmed with but got through.

You have to just focus on whats important right now and thats you and your baby. Stay positive and dont waste energy on your ex.

Have you got family near you? Do you go to antenatal classes? Go to mum groups after your baby is born so you meet some mums and make a network. Since becoming a mum it took me quite a few months to build friendships with a few mums. I met lots but it takes awhile to click. They are great support when I need them - (men just dont understand some things )

Maybe your partner will come around but make sure its on your terms.

Mumsnet is a great place if you ever need to talk.

Take care
x

OP posts:
Slickbird · 24/05/2009 20:02

Katrina7 - Sorry had to rush off last night - was at folks for a night with DD1.

I agree with what Devotion has said. And as she asked, what's your family/friends situation?

Slickbird · 24/05/2009 20:04

P.S. You should make 'him' read this thread and he can see how many people get pg with the withdrawal method!! How can he not believe you anyway? Does he expect a paternity test after?

Katrina7 · 25/05/2009 18:25

Hi Devotion and Slickbird. Thank you both very much for your lovely messages. Yes i am a bit better today but have been crying for a week. maybe is the hormones aswell... I feel better today.

As for family, no i dont have any and this makes it harder. All my family lives abroad.

Regarding the withrwing method , he said that i ve done it on purpose. He was on top and he was very controlling.can a woman fall pregnant on purpose when the man is on top and holds her down??? Can she?? I know he is only try to find excuses to easy his guilt for running away like a 15 year old boy. It is like i was in love with a man and he wasn't a man , he was a little boy. A spoilt boy. The sock and the dissapointment is so huge.

This is the person who was saying: 'Katrinaki i ll always love you'. I dont even want him to love me anymore-i know now that he never loved me- but i just wanted him to talk 5 minutes for the baby. I begged him. And he didn't. just to be a man for 5 minutes.

I ve got so many problems, to give birth alone and after that to have an operation and to sort out who will look after the baby when i am in hospital. And all he does is going to the bar and laghing and telling people that i ve done it on purpose to keep him. How childish can he be?

I am sorry because Devotion asked for positive stories and i think i ve spoilt the thread. sorry x

Katrina7 · 25/05/2009 18:43

oh and you asked about test. i told him i dont mind we can do dna test but he doesnt want. Because he knows it will be positive. i havnt slept with anyone else so it is his baby 100 %. he knows it,

Original poster
devotion · 25/05/2009 20:15

Katrina7 - please dont apologise!!!

I'm sorry he is such a loser.

I feel bad saying that about him because i dont know all of your story and his. He may have some issues himself that are stopping him.

Was his father in his life? If not, maybe he is worried he will be like his father, maybe he's worried about failing as a father. Whatever it is he is a coward. Because a real man would not have blamed you. He would have told you his fears.

It takes two to tango and two to make a baby. If he didnt want a baby then he should never have sex without contraception FULL STOP!

Maybe you should write him a letter about how you feel and maybe include this thread from mumsnet so he can see what an idiot he is and maybe he will wake up and take responsibility for his own actions.

If he wants to miss out on a lovely partner like you and being part of a family, watching his own flesh and blood grow and experiencing one of the most amazing experiences ever - becoming a parent then so be it!

He will regret it!

I'm sorry to hear you have to have an operation. Have you been to any antenatal classes yet to meet some mums in your area.

Google your local surestart centre, they may have their own single parent support group or can put you in touch with one. surestart are fantastic, they are very supportive in many ways. Also register with www.netmums.com you choose your local area and then you can email in there to see if there are any support groups or other mums in a similar situation to yourself.

We make our own luck in life so if you face this change head on and think "right i'm going to take control of this and work out whats best for me and my child" - you will be fine!

x

OP posts:
Slickbird · 25/05/2009 20:16

Oh My God, what a complete arse. I'm SOOOOO sorry. If it's ANY consolation at all, it sounds like your much better off without this controlling selfish fuckwit as he clearly would only be worse when the baby comes along if you were still together.

Do you have any friends who can help you? Is moving at some point an option? Where do your family live? You shouldn't have to go through all this by yourself honey.

You've not spoilt thread, that's what MN is for.

Slickbird · 25/05/2009 20:19

Sorry, devotion was a bit more rational! (Am just angry at the way you've been treated)

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