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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

My midwife was very disaproving when I said I don't want any test

77 replies

memoo · 15/04/2009 13:12

And now I'm a bit worried that i've done the wrong thing.

Apart from the scans I have refused antenatal tests because DP and I have decided that we will have our baby even if it did have problems.

I wouldn't have an amnio because of the increased risk of MC, and I don't like the idea of being given a 1 in whatever chance of baby having a disabilty. As we wouldn't terminate it doesn't seem worth the worry and/or risk

But the way my midwife reacted its made me feel i'm doing something wrong. I know I am hyper sensitive at the moment though.

Anyone else not had any antenatal tests?

OP posts:

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hedgiemum · 15/04/2009 13:23

I haven't with my 3, or this one I'm pg with. My midwives have always been supportive, saying "if you wouldn't have the amnio anyway then its probably best not to have anything." I guess your midwife doesn't like pro-lifers or something, but its not her decision, its yours. Shrug it off; and get ready for discovering that nearly every parenting choice you make for the next 18+ years is wrong according to somebody you know

atigercametotea · 15/04/2009 13:24

you do not need to have any kind of screening tests for 'abnormalities' if you don't want them. You have made your feelings clear, she should respect that.
However blood tests and others for your own health should still be done - maybe she thinks you don't want ANY kind of prenatal checks or tests?

If all fails, request another, more understanding midwife.

Hawkmoth · 15/04/2009 13:24

I had the STD tests, antibody and blood counts... but no screening blood tests. I had scans, which would pick up most things, but we wouldn't terminate either.

The risk factors seem to me a very vague and unnecessarily frightening system, especially if you are on the cusp of low/high risk and wouldn't consider invasive tests. I've got enough to worry about.

My MW was completely neutral about the whole thing, and yours should have been too. It's unprofessional to question a well-informed decision.

TrinityIsGettingABabyRhino · 15/04/2009 13:25

I didn't have any of the tests with all 3 of my girls

I was going to have each one regardless so didn't feel the need for the blood tests that may show me the need for the amnio as I wouldn't have had the amnio anyway

mrsturnip · 15/04/2009 13:25

Lots of people don't have tests. If she carries on again ask her what would be the point of any test as you wouldn't terminate anyway.

Stretch · 15/04/2009 13:25

Yep, I am excatly the same except my MW is fantastic and accepts my decision.

We had decided after an amnio with DD1 which was horrible and traumatic that we wouldn't have terminated so what was the point? The triple bloods don't really tell you anything anyway!

LauriefairycakeeatsCupid · 15/04/2009 13:25

I also wouldn't assume you were 'pro-life' by just not having screening tests - hopefully she didn't too.

LuluisgoingtobeanAunty · 15/04/2009 13:26

thing is , if you would not terminte or have an amnio, the only thing a test would tell you is your risk of having a child with some, not all disabilities. and low risk is not the same as no risk. i had the triples test , but would not have had an amnio, feeling that an indication o f risk was enough, that forewarned was forearmred.

your MW might have been surprised as the vast majority of women do have all the tests, you have thought through your decision, and it is your informed decision so really does not matter what she thinks

how did she react? mild surprise? shock? talking you into the tests?

Stretch · 15/04/2009 13:27

But yes, have the urine, normal bloods done as these can show up potential problems that are avoidable.

mrsgboring · 15/04/2009 13:41

I refused the triple test. My MW basically said "quite right" - she says she spends loads of time talking to women who say they want the tests "for reassurance" but have no answer when she asks "But what if the answer isn't reassuring?"

On its own, the triple test is IMO a fairly lousy test - can give false highs and false lows and no conclusive result. If you wouldn't have the other bits of the test, there is no point having it IMO.

I had a vile 20 week scan lady on my first pregnancy (only non-lovely sonographer I've ever met) who demanded in a very abrupt way to know why I was having the scan if I'd refused the triple test. And was only partially mollified when I said but the scan could pick something up that we could do something about, or we'd need to know about during pg/delivery. But after that she did the scan just the same.

ArcticLemming · 15/04/2009 13:45

I was 43 when pregnant with DD2 and refused the nuchal screening for Downs(we don't have a triple where we are). No-one batted an eyelid.

Blondie79 · 15/04/2009 13:47

Memoo - we didn't have any tests with any of our three children as we had the same view as you.

Don't worry - only you can decide what is best for you and your family.

jackieg123 · 15/04/2009 13:47

Hi,

I only had scans / blood tests in both my last and current pregnancies. I didn't have the alphabet test for the same reason as you and my midwife was supportive, saying there was no point if I wasn't going to go on to further tests in the event of a high risk result.

I totally understand you having moments of doubt though.

Blondie79 · 15/04/2009 13:50

Sorry - should point out that I had the basic scans and blood tests though.

Original poster

memoo · 15/04/2009 15:59

I should have said that I have had all std screening, hiv, rubella.

The midwife gave me a surprised look and said "oh right". Then she started telling me about the pro's of having the tests done and that its good to be prepared if i did have a child with a disability.

The problem i have though is the triple test ect can't give you a definate answer and the test that does carrys a risk of MC. I said this to her and she just replied "hmm" then wrote "refused triple test" in big letters on my notes.

surprised she didn't give me a big badge to wear saying 'crap mother'

OP posts:

pginthecloset · 15/04/2009 16:10

Ignore her. I refused all tests and my midwife was completely fine about it. Maybe you live somewhere where it's the norm for people to have them so she was surprised at your decision.

I started a thread recently about my declining of the tests and one poster told me that its actually about 50/50 for people having and refusing them.

peachyfox · 15/04/2009 17:53

Like you, my partner and I sat down and had a proper conversation about how we felt about the possibility of 'abnormalities' and decided we didn't need their crappy test.
The midwife was lovely but the sonographer was a bit iffy (nuchal coincided with my 12 week scan) until my partner gave her his stern look and said we only needed to know things that represented a danger to my or the baby's health. She piped down then.

I was so proud of him.

Beccabump · 15/04/2009 17:56

Agree to ignore her - my mw was fab and agreed that as my hubby and I wouldn't even consider amnio there was little point in doing the quad test (new triple test).

The only tests I have had other than ultrasound were to check my blood type as I couldn't remember and I will have a GTT next week as my dad is diabetic.

I didn't even have the std, rubella, etc tests as I was immune to rubella last pg, and hubby and I have only 'been' with each other!

Do not fear - you are not a bad mummy!

xxx

MustHaveaVeryShortMemory · 15/04/2009 19:18

Really surprised at her reaction. Like you, I wouldn't risk an amnio so didn't see the point in having the tests. Midwife and sonographer didn't bat an eyelid. She just wrote 'declined triple test'.

Anyway, having an amnio is no guarantee of having a without a disability. You could argue that they can create a false sense of security.

But each to their own and I think she should keep her personal opinion to herself unless it is requested.

pinkmagic1 · 15/04/2009 19:33

I wouldn't have aborted if anything had have been wrong with my 2, but personally I wanted to be fully prepared for any possibilities, so opted for the tests. However everyone feels differently and it is your baby and your body so really non of her business.

izzymom · 15/04/2009 19:48

I had similar reaction from mw during DS pg. However, this was same mw who questioned whether my DH was really commited to a new baby as he had prev.had vasectomy (would have thought that paying to have v.painful reversal was a sign of 'commitment' ). Swiftly changed mw!

MW I had for rest of pg,with DD and this pg has been v.supportive but did say that it's unusual for the tests to be refused.Maybe your mw just felt she had to cover her back if she doesnt encounter this often. As long as you're okay with your decision, that's all that matters.

sarah293 · 15/04/2009 19:53

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tinierclanger · 15/04/2009 19:55

You are doing the right thing. I had the triple test and really regretted it as I had a high risk result but didn't want an amnio because of the MC risk, and wouldn't have terminated. If I get pregnant again I will NOT be having it. It would be different if it gave you a conclusive result.

cluelessnchaos · 15/04/2009 19:59

I think hedgiemums post is spot on, the decisions are yours, you dont have to justify them only live with them. I didnt test with any of mine

sarah293 · 15/04/2009 20:03

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