My midwife was very disaproving when I said I don't want any test

[memoo]

And now I'm a bit worried that i've done the wrong thing.

Apart from the scans I have refused antenatal tests because DP and I have decided that we will have our baby even if it did have problems.

I wouldn't have an amnio because of the increased risk of MC, and I don't like the idea of being given a 1 in whatever chance of baby having a disabilty. As we wouldn't terminate it doesn't seem worth the worry and/or risk

But the way my midwife reacted its made me feel i'm doing something wrong. I know I am hyper sensitive at the moment though.

Anyone else not had any antenatal tests?

Memoo, your midwife sounds horrible. Is she the one you will have all the way through? If so, is there anyway you could change?

I didn't have the triple test either for the same reasons as you and my midwife just agreed that there wasn't much point if I wouldn't have an amnio.

I refused the triple test because I was absolutely certain that even if it returned a high probability I would not undergo an amnio or ever consider terminating the pregnancy. My midwife told me that she didn't have it with any of her pregnancies either. It's completely your choice and I can't help thinking that your midwife's reaction was unprofessional - her personal opinion on such a sensitive issue really doesn't matter.

With DS1 (2005) and 2 (2006) I was not offered a triple test as it was only offered to women over 35.

I was offered one with DS3 (2008) as it was then on offer for everyone.

I was booked in Sept. with DC4 and again she asked me about triple test to which I said 'No thanks' as I had not had one with any of my previous children and the result would not change our mind about carrying on - we didn't like the sound of an amnio or the fact the triple test can indicate a problem when there isn't one, prompting you to go on to have an invasive test which carries a risk of m/c.

She went on to say 'What will you do if this baby is severely disabled then with 3 children already to look after?' My response of 'Cope' raised her eyebrow.

I said I was sure I didn't want the test so she went on to say I can't make that decision without talking to my DH first so filled in the triple test blood form anyway and put it in my folder. (We have been together 10 years and been through 5 pregs almost so I knew what his answer would be)

I asked him when he got home and he said 'Absolutely not', so that was that.

Have had 2 scans at 19 and 20 weeks (they couldn't see babys' heart properly on first attempt as baby wouldn't co-operate so we got recalled) and everything looks fine. We are happy with that.

I dread being asked about it because it's the same MW I had with DS3 and she wasn't impressed that time either.

She has since written 'TRIPLE TEST DECLINED' in my notes and I have to go and see the consultant on Tuesday and he will question it - He did last time, then rudely ask me what I want him to do about the fact DS2 was over 10 lbs and ask why I am there to see him at 20 weeks, what can he see/do? - she sent me at 16 weeks with DS3, to which I will say I don't know and can I go home now thanks very much. I didn't want to come and see you anyway.

I love it!!

I am a midwife myself and have never had a nuchal or triple test, (in 3 pregnancies)my own midwife has been very supportive

I don't see the point in having a triple or nuchal if you wouldn't consider an amnio if it were high risk, it would just ruin the rest of the pregnancy. Some of my colleagues are surprised but most of them agree that as I wouldn't consider a termination that there is no point in going for it. Do not let them get to you, each person has to make their own decision based on their own circumstances and feelings. Your baby will probably be absolutely fine anyway

I think there is a big difference between tests that affect YOUR wellbeing, and those relating to the baby. I completely understand those who turn down all the screening tests though.

I opted out of the STD tests as felt unnecessary but think it would be irresponsible to opt our of blood group test (unless you knew your were Rh+) or out of iron level / blood sugar tests as these could put you at risk.

I think scans esp 20 week important as it can pick up life threatening probs eg placenta previa, or undiagnosed twins.

I was the same. No tests with DD and DS2. I had tests with DS1 and they served no purpose other than to panic me.

Make your decisions and ignore others.

I've never had the tests. dd1's anencephaly was picked up on a scan, and in susequent pregnacies, consultant asked if we wanted tests, and simply nodded understandingly when we said no.

It's a shame that you've had so little support from your MW on this one. I've refused the triple test for both my pgs that made it far enough and my MW was really supportive.

We decided that, even if we could be given a definite 'yes, your baby has Downs' (which obviously they can't) we would continue with the pg. Therefore, all other testing was academic and would probably cause us more stress than was sensible.

My MW reckons that she has a lot of couples who have the tests simply because they're offered without thinking through what they might do if the results aren't what they hoped and are then left with really painful decisions.

Your choice and not for your MW to judge.

I had the triple with ds1. With ds2 we decided not to bother, as it would make no difference to us. Midwife (same as last time) asked if we wanted it, and when we said no said: 'I'm glad. I used to think it was a good thing if it reduced the number of amnios, but given the number of false positives I've seen and the stress they cause I now really don't like them.'

I've never had any of the tests save for scans. In my last pregnancy I agreed to have a 20 week scan but only in case there was any problem that we could have done something positive about - something that might have affected delivery choices, for example. My consultant was lovely and agreed to do the scan herself so that if she saw any soft markers - that she knew I didn't want to know about - she could keep them to herself. This was after having a previous pregnancy blighted by worries over soft markers.

My view is that screening tests are the first step in a process that leads to invasive testing and being offered termination. If that's not a road you are willing to go down, don't take that first step onto it.

Never had any problem when I've said that I don't want tests. Maybe it's because they know that I'm RC by the time they get to that question.

I was 40 when pg with DD and was pushed very hard into having an amnio by Registrar and midwife at first scan/hospital appointment. They poo-pooed the triple test I asked about, saying it would obviously come back high because of my age. The midwife said she would ring me with the results asap to book in the amnio (at which point she would have been told AGAIN that I was not having it) As it was result came back REALLY, REALLY low risk and I heard no more.

When pg with DS (at 43 and at a different hospital) the very lovely, sensible consultant gave us an information sheet before seeing us that basically said 'if you wouldn't do anything about your pregnancy then don't cause yourself the worry of testing'

You sound as though you have thought through this very sensibly and your midwife should know better.
Try to ignore her and enjoy your pregnancy

My PCT doesn't offer amnio/CVS etc unless you are in the high risk group - so unless the nuchal fold had come up unusual I wouldn't have had the option of having amnio etc.

They are hardly routine tests, carry risks of miscarriage and therefore I am extremely surprised your MW was disapproving that you don't want them as routine. It's not as if not having them would have any impact on the pregnancy is it ?

I refused the first scan and all tests other than basic bloods. I just had the 2nd 20week scan. Like you my attitude was that I wasn't going to have a termination regardless. Also I was irritated by the dating scan as a) I knew when baby was concieved and b) I felt confident baby would come when he/she was ready regardless of any silly form!

At 20week scan they offered to date - I told them firmly I knew when baby due; they looked rather sceptical and firmly turned back to computer. However, to their suprise the computer gave them the same date I had given them. I was very smug .

Generally though, although they were a bit surprised, I thought my MWs were ok (ish) about me not wanting two scans but then I still saw "refused all form of 12 weeks scanning" written on my on-screen notes which looked rather ominous. I did get mildly irritated when MW said to me at around 8 weeks "if you have the 12 week scan and their is a problem you will be in a better position to make a decision". I replied "what decision?" and she didn't have the courage to answer me, she just hmm-ed a bit and looked uncomfortable.

I was also annoyed to be told I couldn't have a home birth unless I'd had a 20week scan. This isn't actually true but as I wanted the 20week scan anyway I didn't argue. Will not be having any scanning at all next baby though I think.

7dayweekend, in all seriousness, what will you do if you need to have an epidural for an assisted delivery or a C section ?

I'm seriously not having a go, just wondering how that would be managed.

I had no tests other than standard scans either. As many others have said there is no point having the blood tests if you will not follow them up with CVS/amnio. Both my GP and midwife totally agreed.

I would suggest that you request a more supportive midwife who will keep her personal feelings to herself unless asked for.

I declined tests too. I didnt have them with DC4 either.

No one had a go at me but no one seemed to take me seriously either. I was booked in for all the tests anyway

I am suprised at the amount of women on this thread who share my views because I was made to feel I was the only one!

I am having a problem with the routine blood tests as well. I dont have a problem with them as such but its a bit complicated.

My last midwive used to do bloods. No problem. I am not needle phobic at all (far from it). unfortunately I get very very anxious in medical environments. My DD was sick for a long time and died 3 years ago. Since then I find drs and hospitals, clinics etc very difficult. I am worse now than I was two years ago when I had DS3. The new midwives dont do bloods. I have to take a ticket and wait in the local surgery or one of the clinics. The trouble is they are always packed. I can manage about 15 minutes before I begin to get very upset and agitated. It takes about an hour and half - two hours on some days. I just cant cope.

I dont know what to do. I have tried explaining it but I get the feeling they think I am just a bit scared of needles. I feel guilty about it but I have managed to keep living my life these last 3 years as best I can and I suppose the trauma has to surface in some way.

I am not sure this is the right thread but any suggestions would be helpful.

I had a similar reaction from my m/w..

I have major ethical issues with testing - not from a pro-life pov but because, as some other posters have commented, I think they are misleading. I don't have an issue with other people taking these tests, but I do think it gives false reassurances that are potentially unhelpful in the event of a child being born with difficulties. A test does not rule out disability and I feel deeply uncomfortable that many people with no experience of disability take these tests and feel assured they are 'safe' from abnormality..

On a personal level, I'm a Speech and Language Therapist and I could never look at the children I work with again if I thought I'd put myself in a position where I might - even momentarily - have 'considered my options'. Also, given my work, I'm fairly sure that taking some silly test wouldn't prepare you for the reality of living with a disabled child in a disabling society 24-7: I certainly don't feel that I could say my 9-5 day-in, day-out job would make me prepared for the experience (and that's after years of practice) so how does a slip of paper telling you your risk, or even a definite diagnosis pre-birth 'prepare' you?

Just my tuppence worth..

This thread was started in April folks.

Chegirl I'm so very sorry about the death of your lovely daughter. I must be terribly difficult for you and I'm sure pregnancy is a bittersweet time for you.

I have a complicated obstetric history and when I was expecting my DC3 the community midwives were very sensitive with me. They knew that I found medical environments difficult and that I struggled when I was around pregnant women. They (and I almost always saw the same midwife) did all of my appointments at home, including bloods, and my hospital appointments were with my consultant. My hospital notes had stickers on them so that other staff knew to be nice to me.

I don't know what sort of discretion your midwives have but it sounds as though you would benefit from similar treatment?

I'm not sure if I got the home care that patients lined up for a homebirth get, even though I wasn't booked in for a homebirth. Even if you don't want a homebirth, if your local midwives offer that kind of service to women planning one, it at least sets a precedent and a structure for home visits.

I don't know if choosing the independent midwife route would give you a calmer experience? It would certainly involve fewer medical institutions and less queueing.

...and obviously still a pertinent issue yama.

I was making no judgement funtimeswincies and I agree that it is a pertinent issue.