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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

My midwife was very disaproving when I said I don't want any test

77 replies

memoo · 15/04/2009 13:12

And now I'm a bit worried that i've done the wrong thing.

Apart from the scans I have refused antenatal tests because DP and I have decided that we will have our baby even if it did have problems.

I wouldn't have an amnio because of the increased risk of MC, and I don't like the idea of being given a 1 in whatever chance of baby having a disabilty. As we wouldn't terminate it doesn't seem worth the worry and/or risk

But the way my midwife reacted its made me feel i'm doing something wrong. I know I am hyper sensitive at the moment though.

Anyone else not had any antenatal tests?

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mrsturnip · 15/04/2009 20:09

I am very that a test 'prepares' you for disability. Particularly one which gives a probability. Nothing prepares you for disability. I have a severely disabled child (nothing that can be tested for) and our life is pretty normal. We couldn't really have prepared for it. Could have worried ourselves sick about it, but not prepared for it.

hedgiemum · 15/04/2009 20:19

Exactly Riven - so many friends of mine have gone along with having triple test, then declined amnio because of the miscarriage risk despite a high risk result, and the rest of their pregnancy has been spent in fear. One friends consultant even tried to bully her into having the amnio, saying there were too many downs kids in the UK already, and that her "pro-life sensibilities" would result in a miserable existence for another human being. He got an official warning though, as her DH was there and is a neonatologist in another hospital (unbeknownst to the consultant) and reported him. Ha!
I guess hearing about that experience is why I'm always a bit when hcp's aren't supportive about declining tests.

Thanks for saying my post was spot on Chaos I actually felt a bit mean afterwards for typing that this is just the beginning for the op of decisions being questioned by others; there are lots of lovely things about being a parent too!

mrsturnip · 15/04/2009 20:21

"One friends consultant even tried to bully her into having the amnio, saying there were too many downs kids in the UK already, and that her "pro-life sensibilities" would result in a miserable existence for another human being. He got an official warning though, as her DH was there and is a neonatologist in another hospital (unbeknownst to the consultant) and reported him. Ha!"

Dear god . I would have reported him too if he made those comments to me. What an idiot.

sarahken · 15/04/2009 20:21

I haven't had any extra tests with either of my pregnancies, just the usual scans and blood tests. If you know you wouldn't abort should the results come back that there was problems, then I don't see any point in causing you & your baby undue stress. Some of the tests will only give you odds anyway, so I don't see the point. I can't say the midwife looked down on me at all for refusing the tests, she just moved on to the next question, but I'm only 25 years old.

georgimama · 15/04/2009 20:29

The triple test can give false reassurance too. My MW told me about (no names obviously) a 25 year old woman who had the triple test and was given something like 1 in 6000 so she didn't bat an eyelid and on went the pregnancy. Her baby had Downs Syndrome - she was that 1 in 6000. Someone was going to be but naturally she never thought it would be her. She was actually trying to sue the Trust for clinical negligence, although naturally the claim was being vigorously defended.

Further, the antenatal tests do not and cannot test for disabilities which occur as a result of birth trauma. I can't understand the point of them tbh, but my MW didn't say a word when I refused.

georgimama · 15/04/2009 20:29

sarahken OMG I have just read your post, obviously I was in no way trying to suggest that your baby is going to have Down's Syndrome, I hope you understand that.

expatinscotland · 15/04/2009 20:33

I declined the triple test every time.

I had the nuchal because that's what the offered as a 12-week scan and I'd had a missed miscarriage months before, but I had one midwife get arsey when she asked and I said I'd never have an amnio for any reason.

cluelessnchaos · 15/04/2009 20:43

hedgiemum I didnt think your remark was negative, and the less time we spend worrying about others opinions of our decisions the happier we will be

skramble · 15/04/2009 20:52

I refused extra tests, I didn't think I was high risk for most of them and would have taken no action during pregnancy so didn't see the point really.

Did have a risk of my DS being born with a blood disorder. Establishing if DS had it while he was in the womb would have involved invasive tests so I refused, again pointless as I would have taken no action during pregnancy and they still had to be told during labour that some interventions were a no no.

sarahken · 15/04/2009 21:29

oh no georgimami, don't worry about that!! I understand with everything there is a risk, and actually know a 20yr old with a down sydrome child. Nobody, no matter what the age is 100% risk free from having a disabled child, but I don't believe these tests help in anyway, apart from add to the worry.

cory · 15/04/2009 22:51

My midwife was quite taken aback when I pointed out that with my age and family history the risk of my carrying a baby with Downs was actually less than the risk of miscarrying after the amnio.

You'd have thought one would want to consider that first...

Simplysally · 15/04/2009 23:10

I refused any invasive tests for my dd (I accepted blood tests and 2 scans) and my mw was fine about it - she commented that I was evidently going to take whatver God sent me . I didn't like the sound of the risks of amminio which to me outweighed any possible 'benefits' of knowing stuff about the baby before the birth.

I'd still take the same stance now even nearly 10 years on so don't feel bad about it.

abbierhodes · 15/04/2009 23:21

I refused the triple test both times. I was with a different hospital with Ds2, and they were not supportive. In the end I told them that all this talk of 'choices' was offending me because it went against my religion. That soon shut them up.
(Hard to explain why I was unmarried though )

Simplysally · 15/04/2009 23:38

I don't even know what the triple test is.

TeenyTinyToria · 16/04/2009 00:59

I have refused all tests except the blood tests for anaemia and blood sugar. I wouldn't terminate or have an amnio, and dh and I have only been with each other, so all other tests were unnecessary. You are not at all unusual.

sarah293 · 16/04/2009 09:27

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FioFio · 16/04/2009 09:29

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sarah293 · 16/04/2009 09:42

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FioFio · 16/04/2009 09:51

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Diege · 16/04/2009 09:58

Agree, this is bad. I work in this area (anti-natal screening) and midwives are specifically trained to be non-directive. They should provide enough info' in order to make an 'informed decision', but should not in any way try to promote testing (or non-testing). I agree too about the triple test; it's classed as 'clinically poor' - ie, it has too high a false positve rate to be seen as clinically useful, but because it's so cheap it's kept on (although has been withdrawn by a few trusts). If you're still getting hassle it would be worth havign a word with the supervisor of midwives, or better still the antenatal screening midwife (there should be one attached to your midwife 'team')to voice your concerns. FWIW I think you've made the right decision

missorinoco · 16/04/2009 10:02

I declined the triple test both times for the same reasons as you. my midwives were supportive. your logic is sound.

hypersensitive or not, she is judging you with a dodgy set of scales.

ignore.

(writing refused triple test in notes will have no bearing one way or another. she has to show that she discussed it. she's just putting her opinion on the matter in your notes inadvertently.)

Hangingbellyofbabylon · 16/04/2009 10:33

Hi Memoo, I've refused all tests so far (bar the blood tests for HIV etc) - I'm really lucky as my midwife was great about it all. She remembered that I made the same choice with my other dd. When I went for the 12 week scan which was just a 'well-being' scan rather than the nuchal the sonographer seemed a bit surprised but again didn't say anything. I'm really lucky I think because if anyone had challenged me I would have gone ape . Never challenge an angry pregnant lady.

I do think that if she's hassling you or commenting again maybe you should complain. They're only meant to give you the options but not comment on your choices.

Original poster

memoo · 16/04/2009 16:33

I think my midwife is a bit old school, the kind who think we should just follow doctors orders and not think for ourselves.

When I had my first 2 DC I had a different midwife and never had any of this. I was just asked if I wanted the test and when I said no nobody questioned my decision.

This midwife also refered to my ectopic pregnancy as an 'abortion' in my notes! I know this is the technical term but I thought medical professionals were surposed to be a bit more sensitive these days.

Thanks for the support, I'm feeling a bit better today and a lot stronger. I know I made the right choice

OP posts:

milaflores · 27/11/2009 21:44

I'm 37 and pregnant for the first time, decided not to have any tests, and found MW very supportive, but found others not so suuportive. Very reassuring to read some of the views here about not going through with tests.

BUMPITlicious · 27/11/2009 21:56

I didn't have any tests either. Initially we said yes to bloods but said we wouldn't have an amnio, so the midwife said we needed to seriously think about whether we just wanted to have the bloods done as if I had a high result but then refused further testing it could make things unnecessarily stressful. They made us go away and have a cuppa to discuss it. I'm surprised at your MWs attitude.

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