Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

Original poster

Bump size - why do people feel the need to say what they like?!!!

19 replies

roseability · 01/04/2009 22:18

I know this has been done before, but anyone sick of people commenting on how big their bump is? According to my midwife my bump measures just right for my dates (30 weeks) so why do people keep looking at me in horror and saying things like 'are you having triplets?' Arghh! I like my bump, it is my precious baby girl.

I suspect I am just being a hormonal grump

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

nickytwotimes · 01/04/2009 22:21

Well, maybe a touch hormonal.

It is a bit annoying though. Better than not being acknowledged at all though.

insywinsyspider · 01/04/2009 22:23

then you can be grumpy with me! I'm on number three my uber slim sil is having number 2 a month after me and I'm huge compared to her which people feel the need to comment on by saying 'not long to go' I say '11wks' and they say 'are you sure they have your dates right?'

and also had enough of people telling me what I'm having - bump shape is no indication and if you are running out of things to say lets just talk about telly or something else, grrr

Original poster

roseability · 01/04/2009 22:42

I know insywinsy! My BIL's wife has just had a baby and she was tiny, although she got comments about how small she was which used to worry her I think.

Is there some secret consensus on how big a bump should be?

OP posts:

brettgirl2 · 02/04/2009 08:24

I don't think it's really about bump size. People seem to think that just because a woman is pregnant she is unable to have an intelligent conversation about anything else.

I get told I'm small (and am exactly on middle point of growth chart). Some people just look bigger than others - I'm a strapping 5'10 sort of lass, so optically it just makes the bump look smaller than someone 5'1!

mrsflux · 02/04/2009 09:16

it is incredibly annoying when the first thing someone says is not hello but
"got you're big!"
i was very close to smacking them or crying!

WowOoo · 02/04/2009 09:22

I've had these comments and usually don't mind...

But, other day someone asked 'how far gone are you now, must be over 30 weeks..?'
I'm only 23 wks and took this as 'YOU ARE MASSIVE' !!! Hardly know her either...

(wanted to say: But you are massive too and you're NOT pregnant.)

mrsgboring · 02/04/2009 09:30

I don't usually mind, but the bump shape thing totally pisses me off because it's so irrational. I mean it's not like you can look at a baby dressed in white in a pram and say what sex it is from what posture it adopts (still less by looking at its mum's abdominal muscles)

When I said this to MIL, though, she was desperately hurt, as it turns out she believes in the bump shape thing totally.

WowOoo · 02/04/2009 09:45

Yes, I've been told that it's definately a girl from shape when scan has said it's a boy. I didn't tell her....

Gemzooks · 02/04/2009 10:01

I've had my DD 10 days ago and my lip quivers whenever I'm out and about and people ask me how the pregnancy is going. keep saying 'I've HAD the baby!'..

mumof2andabit · 02/04/2009 11:13

Is a touchy subject. I have had always had 'small' bumps whilst a friend of mine measured 5weeks bigger through out. I also fel out with a good friend for commenting on how nice and slim she still was!

I now know to just say - what a lovely bump. End of!

Original poster

roseability · 02/04/2009 11:25

Gemzooks - I still looked pregnant 6 months down the line!

OP posts:

DUSTIN · 02/04/2009 11:54

I have comments and not just about my bump. My own Mother said that my bump looked smaller than last pregnancy but my bottom was huge. I said it was a counter balance!!

Lizzylou · 02/04/2009 11:56

I was huge both times.
It is annoying though.....I was 6mths pg with DS2 when I was asked if I was having twins in the next few weeks. A whole restaurant were commenting on my size
Great, just what you want to hear!
DS2 was a huge baby tho.

mogwai · 02/04/2009 12:39

First thing my FIL said when he saw our newborn daughter wasn't "she's lovely". He looked at me and said "have you got another one in there?"

Next time, I'll reply "no, have you?"

Poppet45 · 02/04/2009 14:31

I've noticed sometimes - but not always - people use this to talk about the overall size of a woman, rather than their bump per see.

I guess what they're really saying is 'slow down on the chips love or you'll be in no fit state to do something as physically demanding as give birth'.

Lovely isn't it?

However when you look at the statistics about high weight gain in pregnancy and the resulting totally avoidable complications during birth sadly they are on to something.

They're basically trying to step around a very taboo health issue and not doing it very well at all. And also offering unwanted advice. But let's face it that's nothing new to any pregnant woman.

And I say all this as someone who had to be rescanned at my 20 week check because they couldn't believe jnr was such a chubster already. Oh the shame.

Personally I don't have a problem with the bump guessing... people love it sooo much it feels churlish to get all precious about it. It really lets others share in the joy of it all.

mrsgboring · 02/04/2009 15:24

Sometimes it may be the case for the utterly rude ones, Poppet45, but mostly people are letting their gobs flap up and down and whatever inanity is in their brain drop out unscrutinised. IMVHO.

shell96 · 02/04/2009 15:50

I've been totally feeling like this all day because when i dropped my OH off for work this morning his boss greeted me with "Hi Fatty"!!! I was pretty taken aback as i've only met him half a dozen times in the 2.5 years my Oh has worked for him!

Also my SIL is taking me shopping for a baby bouncy seat tomorrow and i'm dreading it because every time i see her she comments on my size and always always always says "ooh i'm sure you've grown since i last saw you", even if i just saw her that morning!!

Grrrrr rant rant rant rant...

LeninGrad · 02/04/2009 15:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TrillianEAstraEgg · 02/04/2009 15:52

WHy do people feel the need to say what they

Because it's SOOOOO BIG And it's right there in front of them!

Flip