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Original poster

can't believe it - MIL seriously insisting that we call ds-to-be Gerard

130 replies

laughorcry · 19/04/2005 18:30

Not sure whether to laugh or cry. MIL getting really aggresive about the fact that dh and I do not want to call our baby Gerard - it was her dad's name and she is saying that dh will be the first son in six generations not to name after his grandfather.

Hope am not offending anyone btw, but can't say I like the name much and anyway feel that this is our choice to make.

I can't believe how upset this is making me - any suggestions for how to deal with her?

OP posts:

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bellababe · 19/04/2005 21:27

My MIL is quite a controlling person too, so I have thought hard about what I would do if in your situation. I think, as someone else suggested, refuse to discuss it with her. Never bring the subject up when she's around, and if she brings it up herself, say, "We're not talking about names right now" firmly. If she wants to bang on, let her. But when the baby's born, you call him exactly what you want to, tell her that's what he's called, and I suspect that she won't say a word. Don't do anything you don't want to do or you will resent her for ever for it!

Twiglett · 19/04/2005 21:29

My mother was the same and thought she could veto our choice

we told her she'd had 4 chances to name a child and this was our child

she even called me up to tell me she'd just watched a nature programme and they'd called a baby moose by my DD-to-be's beautiful name-to-be

ignore, ignore, ignore her

BTW I know someone called Gerard and he's lovely

Dahlia · 19/04/2005 21:30

Debbiethemum, that would drive me mad! I love the name Myfanwy - its my friend's dd's name and it just suits her so much. I think Miffy is a fab abbreviation! My dd2 is called Isabel and you would be amazed how many people spell it wrongly, including half my thick family. It infuriates me.

juniperdewdrop · 19/04/2005 21:32

just think,he could end up looking like this Gerard?

Debbiethemum · 19/04/2005 21:40

I agree Dahlia, you would have thought that they would have picked up on the spelling from when you have written it. I like Isabel as a name as well.

LaughorCry - You could always get your dh to say we will add it to the list we are considering (the wimp's way out). Then just pick the names you like, Satsuma Anthony Theodore sounds excellent btw.

Everybody else - I also know a Gerard who is very nice, do you think they are all the same one?

QueenEagle · 19/04/2005 21:46

With my first 4 babies there was no discussion with the wider family about what they might be called - we had our list and decided when they were born to see which name they "fitted". With my last baby we told everyone what the probable name would be and everyone had an opinion on it; now I wish we'd kept our mouths shut as I dithered for ages and I still look at him and wonder if he really suits it.

Oh, and what's wrong with double barrelled names laughorcry? Mine is and I ain't no snob awright?

jampots · 19/04/2005 22:01

my cousin is called gerard (Gerry to his friends) and my aunt and godmother insisted my middle name was Geraldine - which i hated when i was little - quite like it now though

nerdgirl · 19/04/2005 22:04

LGJ, I'm Irish too and Gerard is a French name.
The closest Irish equivalent is Gearoid.

hub2dee · 19/04/2005 22:14

Anyone heard of Gérard Depardieu ?

He's an incredible actor !

I wonder if debbiethemum, Twiglett and JoolsToo are all talking about the same person ? That would be so funny, wouldn't it.

I think the name comes from a Germanic origin meaning Firm Spear, but what would I know ?

jabberwocky · 19/04/2005 22:36

With ds the family name was Malcolm. At first I was fine with using it as a first name, but then decided I wasn't. We compromised on using it as a middle name and it has grown on me.

juniperdewdrop · 19/04/2005 22:38

So you decided on Malcom in the middle then??

sorry, couldn't resist

jabberwocky · 20/04/2005 04:21

Er, yes, and I may live to regret it!

Pamina3 · 20/04/2005 11:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JanH · 20/04/2005 11:40

Gerard is Catholic, hence Irish/French identity I think. I know one vaguely (Scots Catholic in this case, probably not the same one everybody else knows!).

Anthony is Catholic too [stir] .

wild · 20/04/2005 11:41

you could call your house chez gerard

Tortington · 20/04/2005 11:49

someone has already suggested using gerard for a first name and your surname. put this too her. i think inlaws are more bothered about the surname which is really the only way a fella or his family can say - "Look my sperm made this". if she agrees to this then give him Anthony as a middle name and use that. tell eeryone he is called anthony, register him at school as anthony etc. he will be known as Anthony.

my MIl didn't likethe name of twin2 but i was of the "i dont care" persuasion at the time - which when it comes to family i really do put up with anything but i wasn't for moving

Tortington · 20/04/2005 11:51

i give you the gift of a name laughorcry...the name is Gary john elvis dave

handlemecarefully · 20/04/2005 12:07

Gerard - splutter!

Sorry, not a laughing matter.

None of your MIL's bloody business what you call your child. The cheek.

18mumtobe · 20/04/2005 12:16

all i can say is its your baby call him what you want to. its nobody elses choice but yours and u MIL will just have to deal with it. i kmow how your feeling as i know whats its like to have interfering family. but trust me she will get over it in the end, and at the end of the day he's your son not hers.

Sponge · 20/04/2005 12:19

You think gerard's bad. We have a friend whose father has sadly died recently and he wants to name his daughter after him - Donaldina .

wilbur · 20/04/2005 12:22

laughorcry - this thread is making me giggle, although I do sympathise (def stick with your choices - ds is one of those names and dh's middle name is the other, both very nice I think). I suppose it's too late to invent a tragic story involving a Gerard (ex-boyfriend who was violent, favourite dog who was run over) that would upset you too much to be reminded of through your son? Or you could tell her you're considering just having your surname for the baby and then she'll be so bent out of shape she'll forget the Gerard thing. Hope you can sort this out and stop worrying (and get your dh to stand up to his mother so she knows that you and his son come first with him) - remember, family traditions are only worth following if they're nice ones!

chipmonkey · 20/04/2005 12:33

My MIL insisted on calling ds1 by the "long" version of his name, when we had called him the shortened version. He sorted it out himself. "Nanna why are you calling me that? Its not my name!"

Tinker · 20/04/2005 12:34

Gerard is not that bad, just old fashioned now. One I know is caeled Ged though. Got Gerald and Geraldine cousins. And Anthony is very Catholic.

Tommy · 20/04/2005 13:14

Why do they do this??
My DS2 has a long name - say Thomas and we all call him Tommy - not Tom. But....guess who insists on calling him Tom and then wonders why he doesn't respond?! Why why why?

beachyhead · 20/04/2005 13:56

Wan't Rowan Atkinson dressed as a gorilla on Not the Nine oClock News called Gread [just for oldie mums]....

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