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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

unplanned pregnancy

15 replies

robyn3 · 28/03/2003 23:51

Have a vague feeling that I may be pregnant even though period not due for 8 days. Feeling very confused have one of each already but both at secondary school, not to mention the fact that I am fast approaching the big 40! Am i too old and is the gap too big ???? Almost feel guilty to others as it would obviously affect them. Seems so 'cushy' at the moment Anyone out there been through similar situation?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

toomany · 29/03/2003 11:36

Unfortunately I went through exactly this situation this time last year. Already had 4 kids- 3 at secondary school & DS in last year at primary, & like you, almost 40.
Just didn't feel I had the "right" to upset everyone elses life with 1 moment of carelessness. Lot of pressure from mum & DH that we just couldn't start all over again, with the end almost in sight. Worst thing for me is that I work full time & we just couldn't afford for me not to. I had this nightmare vision of spending a full day at work then coming home to the demands of a baby & broken nights, & I just couldn't face it.
I had a termination. I'm still not convinced that it was the right thing to do, even a year on. Part of me wants another baby. The other part says that in just a few years the kids will be gone (DD is 17) & do I really want to be still dealing with this teenage c**p as I approach 60?
Good luck with whatever you decide.

Original poster

robyn3 · 29/03/2003 11:51

Thanks toomany I know what you mean about the approaching 60 with a teenager thing and it is nice to be a young mom but I do worry about living to regret not going through with it. DH seems fairly calm about it (even secretly pleased I think) but he is younger than me and also most of the impact will be on my life and not on his as I only work part time Hope I don't sound too selfish!

OP posts:

mum2toby · 31/03/2003 08:09

Robyn3 - I am one of 4 a and the ages of us all are as follows:

26, 25(me), 14 and 11.

My mum was on the pill for 11 years after I was born and got pregnant by accident with child number 3!!

She was 36 then. She had my youngest brother on her 40th birthday..... another little accident. She got sterilised after that!

I just wanted to say that I have a fantastic relationship with my 2 wee bros. They can stay over at my house, they can tell me things they might not tell Mum and Dad and best of all for them..... they are uncles to my ds!! They love him and he loves them.
My Mum is 51 and my Dad is 54 and the youngest is still at Primary School. Sorry for babbling, but I was trying to point out that the age gap is not necessarily an issue and I loved my Mum having 2 babies while I was a teenager. It was wonderful practice for when ds arrived!

My Mum also said it's kept her young!

HTH and good luck with whatever you decide.

Original poster

robyn3 · 31/03/2003 14:13

mum2toby - thanks alot for that you've certainly made me look at it from a different angle. decided not to worry now until i know for sure. can do first test on sat. your bros are lucky to have a big sis like you.

OP posts:

emwi · 31/03/2003 14:29

Let us know what happens. Hope it's what you want.

suedonim · 31/03/2003 15:11

Robyn, I had another baby when my oldest child was 21!! My other children were 17 and 9 when the youngest arrived on the scene. I'll admit that DH and I have found it hard going as I was 42 and DH 51, but I think that is because of dd's challenging personality rather than anything to do with age etc. Also, we were beginning to have some freedom after years of raising a family and it was hard to realise that we were going back to square one again. However, now, we couldn't imagine being without her and it's been a very positive experience for the older three but also they are under no illusions whatsoever about having a small child around. HTH.

NQWWW · 31/03/2003 15:52

Check out www.mothers35plus.co.uk/

There is a messageboard here. It has a much smaller membership than mumsnet, but there are lots of views on older motherhood - including from women ttc well into their 40s.

Original poster

robyn3 · 31/03/2003 17:26

thanx NQWWW i'll definitely have a look, sounds interesting

OP posts:

CAM · 01/04/2003 12:30

Robyn3 I had a planned dd2 at 40 when dd1 was in her 20's. Love it.

metrobaby · 01/04/2003 12:54

Robyn - My mil had my dh at 40 too. She had 3 others - oldest one was 17yrs (who was also pregnant at the time). MIL always says how she was dreading it but says my dh was the best surprise although it was hard work at the time. It kept her and my FIL young she says and she also said it was nice when her other 3 flew the nest they still had my DH. FIL also says he felt like he got a second chance at fatherhood with dh. I always think that there is an extra special bond between my inlaws and DH. Also dh's sister also planned her dd at 39 yrs (despite the age gap between her others) and she maintains that her youngest dd keep her and her dh young too!

Despite the age gap between siblings in dh's family, its great when I visit the in-laws as there's always babies around (and always more coming onto the scene).

mum2toby · 01/04/2003 13:07

Robyn3 - How are you today? Do you still 'feel' pregnant???

Original poster

robyn3 · 01/04/2003 14:59

thanks to everyone for all your brilliant stories. mum2toby i am still feeling strange but a friend of mine suggested that you can imagine symptoms if you want to be pregnant and if you don't want to be. i could put headache and painful boobs down to period i suppose but i do feel very DIZZY is this a symptom i never had this with my others. perhaps its just stress because of the worrying???

OP posts:

dcolagirl · 02/04/2003 13:10

Hi guys (hey mum2Toby - is SH a banned subject??!! )

Have 2 kids already, ds is 2.5 and dd is 14 months. Have been on depo provera but was due another one 4 weeks ago, didn't go because I am getting so fat! Dh and I have discussed our options but 'the appointment' with the dr just keeps getting put off.

Haven't had a period for 10 weeks (which can easily happen with the jab), but have been sick the last 3 evenings and have v.sore boobs.

I don't want to be pg but think I may well be.

mum2toby · 02/04/2003 13:24

Robyn3 - dizzyness in early pregnancy is usually caused by low blood pressure. But I s'pose there are LOADS of things that cause dizzyness when your NOT pg. I'm actually getting quite excited for you....

DC - SH is a swear word on mumsnet!!!!!! You think you could be pg again... you and DH must be getting on REALLY well . When are you going to do a test?

dcolagirl · 03/04/2003 10:38

Went to drs last night and was advised to wait 2 weeks then test. She said if the test is neg (fingers crossed) then I might consider the implant - anyone have any views? I don't know that much about it.

Mum2toby - yeh, dh and I are getting on THAT well!! All's well that ends well.

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