Binge drank before i knew i was pregnant (i thought i was late) - should i abort?

[rainbowserpent]

(by the way i'm not religious, i'm a rationalist) Binge drank in early pregnancy - i think i should have a termination?
Panic. I binge drank when i didn't know i was 26 days pregant, i should have guessed as i kept having funny dreams about being pregnant... i was about 4 and a half weeks i guess, the most vital stage for brain and facial feature development. i maybe had 4 shots of bacardi (it could have been 5 as i don't know how big the measure my boyfriend poured me was) in about an hour! On a full stomach but i felt quite eurphoric and definitly intoxicated and detached for quite a few hours. I got a hang over and felt nauseous and dizzy well into the early hours. I'm so awfully sorry that this has happened. My boyfriend wants me to have a termination and i think i have to agree, we are both phd students and i'm afraid i couldn't bare to have a retarded child - he has no alcohol tolerance although i can drink like a fish so it is genetically possibly vulnerable. (it was unplanned by the way) after we read this:
"If a woman binge drinks during such a critical stage, significant harm may be inflicted on the developing fetal brain. The resulting deficits can range from gross structural abnormalities, such as small brain size and significantly altered brain circuitry. Children exposed to even a single binge drinking episode (blood alcohol levels over 0.07 or 80mg) show behavioural difficulties such as in adhd (poor attention and impulse control), have on average 7 points lower iq than controls (sometimes up to 24 points) and perform far less well on verbal and numeric reasoning tests at age 7 and 14. Before age of 7 and 14 their learning disabilites are not evident, but their peers soon surpass them.
I guess i just want to know i'm doing the right thing in having a termination, i want to know peoples stories.

I felt pretty drunk, and i felt nausea afterward (my symptoms lasted from 8.30 until 2.30 in the morning), my blood alcohol level must have been at least 0.09, enough to cause the death of a third of the fetal brain cells - which cannot regenerate. Thus i do think i'm fairly screwed. My mother drank like a fish with me but a single binge episode is universally believed to MUCH more harmful than moderate or light drinking (2 a day) over a few hours, or over a week. 4/5 drinks in an hour? That's got to be majorly damaging. My timing was just, awful. And the worst thing is, i never drink usually.

There is an oxford study that says that the effects of occasional binge drinking isn't in evidence, but they say 'may' and they say IS a trend towards neurodevelopment disorders, and there was no study conducted of when the binge occured - in early or later pregnancy. Another study also shows lower scores on IQ tests in general. Its not that i'm an intellect snob, i just can't believe i've done this! My whole life is one long line of self-inflicted nightmares...sigh.

A single binge drinking at the wrong time could = perfect baby being now not so perfect.

You do know all this talk about 'the perfect baby' is just all the fantasies you had as a child don't you? Any baby will be perfect if they are your own.

Just wanted to say that I am a (young) academic and I know several people who had babies while they were PhD students, it's definitely doable; in some ways it's not a bad time for it, maybe easier than in a few years time in an academic career with temporary contracts and so on. Your degree may take a while longer, but that's not a disaster. Lots of your friends will be keen to help - even if they're a bit clueless - other graduate students have flexible schedules and can be a big help. Not sure where you are based, though you mention Cambridge in one of your posts. Wherever you are, get in touch with your welfare service/tutor for graduates/college nurse and see what help and support is available for you - probably much more than you expect. Whatever your moral views on abortion, allowing yourself to be pressured into it if it's not what you want is definitely a bad idea and likely to make you unhappy in the long run (also quite unlikely to save the relationship with your boyfriend, I think). Good luck.

i too had a few drinks before i knew i was pregnant...doctor said dont worry all will be fine..and it was.
have a beautiful d/d and very happy.
so def having a termination because of a few drinks is madness.

I was on holiday at around 4/5 wks pregnant and had no idea and me and my boyfriend were extremely drunk most nights, not to mention at my graduation and I took cystitus sachets and immodium etc. The doctor assured me i'd b fine and it's not uncommon for people to b unaware they are pregnant for a longer period of time than 5 wks. I know someone who was drinking like a trooper up until 6 months as she was not aware she was pregnant and luckily she was fine but i am postive at such an early stage u have nothing to worry about. Like I said I wasn't aware I was pregnant and I had just finished my degree so I was partying like it was going out of fashion but to be prepared (in general not because of my lifestyle before I knew) I had all the tests done when I was offered them and the results were amazingly 5 times the average low risk score than that of people my age so clearly it didn't effect my baby according to the tests (although they aren't 100%) and my 20 wk scan everythign measured normally and was in working order. I can understand your worries but I think that u should c your gp and stop reading off the internet it sends u into over drive of the worst case scenarios and half of them do not have concrete evidence to support. If you want this baby I think you should maybe go for the early screening to put your mind at rest, you don't want to base a termination on what if surely. It's a blessing to be able to have children and you may regret aborting a baby especially as your holding yourself responsible for something that most probably hasn't harmed him/her.x

When I was 24 weeks pregnant, almost 7 weeks ago, I went into labour. I had to be taken from Birmingham to Liverpool because there were no beds in the West Midlands. I asked the MW who went with me why it was so bad, she told me that it was Christmas and New Year and that it would be this bad again in a few weeks because of Valentines Day. Apparantly the hospital was oversubscribed this year in October. My point is that more babies than ever get concieved over the festive week and not because they were planned! (Side note, if you are TTC, try and avoid that time as you will find that hospitals are very busy September/October) Most of those babies will have been concieved in an alcoholic state and we're not having problems that most September babies are suffering from FAS.

lol SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore I'm glad I didn't look at my gardening abilities as a reason whether or not to have children! I can kill a cactus!

There is a study that shows that some alcohol can be beneficial to an unborn baby - especially males. If you look around the world (well, Europe mainly) you will see that drinking in pregnancy is classed as good for babies. I don't think you will find a bit of evidence that will say what you have done will damage your child.

"Are you similarly worried about your caffeine consumption?"

And aspartamine? Regular coke is far better for you and your baby than diet coke.

I think there should be a form of "abortion" for men. If a woman doesn't want the baby and he does, he loses out, if she does and he doesn't he's lumbered. I don't agree with abortion and think people should take responsibility for their actions but I do think men should be able to have their own version if women can. There should be something they can sign to say they won't contribute or try to get involved, that allows them to completely walk away.