Am I too demanding with my consultant ?

[MamanFlo]

Hello mums and mums-to-be

I am 33 weeks pregnant (1st child) and chose to go private. My consultant is a lovely man, apparently quite well known in London. My pregnancy is completely normal.

However...

I do find that he rushes a bit when I see him. Last time I asked him about the birth and how it would happen and he answered in 30 sec not more. I am also concerned that he doesn't cover things like recommended ante-natal classes (I had to ask him about it and he referred me to a midwife to give me guidance) and hasn't yet mentionned to me the epidural (does he have a preferred anaesthesist to work with ?...I don't know !). I am wondering if there are other things he is forgetting...as it is my first pregnancy I really don't know.

What do you think ? Am I asking too much to him ? ...

thanks for your views !

Flo

imho, the problem there is that he is a man so has no idea how scary the whole thing is. mine was rubbish until it came to making decisions like 'yes we can induce you now'. midwives are far nicer in my experience, more likely to chat and are the people who will be with you at the birth (tho i never went private so may be different - but didnt see consultant in any of my three nhs birth experiences). alternatively ask mumsnetters!

Maybe these kinds of topics are a bit too 'mundane' for someone of his stature. iykwim.
he's prob more at home dealing with complex issues. plus being a man he prob doesn't have much empathy with what a woman goes through in her first pregnancy.
I think you'll find out a lot more by asking specific questions on mumsnet - theres an answer for EVERYTHING on here. Plus search old topics - whatever you want to know - I'm sure 100's of us have asked the same thing!

Maman Flo - Poor you, that is really not on. I imagine that you are paying a not insignificant amount to this man to steer you through your pregnancy. IMHO, doctors are just the same as any other service - would you let your bank get away with not answering your questions adequately? Or let a kitchen installer get away with leaving a job half finished?

I would suggest that next time you go to see him, write down all the questions that you want answered, and keep probing him with more questions until you are satisfied with his answers. Seriously, this is his job - if he thinks answering questions about ante natal classes, and reassuring you about what will happen in the birth is beneath him, he shouldn't be doing the job that he is!
Sorry, will climb down off my soap box now - it just makes me angry, as my experience with some medical professionals in this country is that they seem to think they are a cut about everyone else, when in fact what they are doing is just a job, the same as anyone else.

Good luck!!

MamanFlo - speak to the midwife as he recommended. Consultants unfortunately (private or not), are not really the best people to speak to about the course of normal labour. They are more zoned into intervention IMO. If you are going to be delivered in a private hospital then he will work with a number of specific anaesthetists. The midwife would be able to tell you that too.