Pregnancy over 40 - positives needed

[MayBlossom]

I am new to MN and would like to hear from anyone with any positive stories about being pregnant over 40, especially second time around. I am 41 and thinking of ttc #2 having had DD at 39. Unfortunately, everything I come across in the press and on the internet is usually negative, especially in relation to trying to conceive over 40 and the miscarriage risks over 40. My apprehension is not helped by having known some people in RL who were fine with their first pregnancies in mid/late 30s and then miscarried their second over 40. Sometimes I think I may be better stopping at one and not risking the heartache that could be involved in trying for #2. Any positive stories to counter-balance all the negatives I seem to have come across would be appreciated.

I had first baby at 36 am now pregnant with number two aged 38 got pregnant first time of trying.It does happen good luck

MayBlossom

I had my first at 35, second at 38 and am now 23 weeks pg with my 3rd and will be 39 when this one is born.

I have to say i fell pg this time much quicker then my other 2.

1st time took 2 1/2 years ttc. 2nd time 3yrs ttc. This time just once since having dd2 and not ttc as we didn't want anymore.

Sorry, wish I'd picked this thread up earlier but my computer died on my a week ago so I am just back online now.

I had my first child aged 37, my second at 39 and am now 40 weeks' pregnant with my third at the grand age of 43. Conception was harder the third time (two miscarriages between number 2 and 3) but the pregnancy has been the easiest of the lot.

The heartache of trying to conceive and not conceiving month after month is wearing. And miscarriage is never nice. On the other hand, the rewards, as you know, are huge ... If you do decide to go ahead, then I strongly recommend getting hold of a copy of Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler (I got mine thro Amazon). Without this book, I don't think I would be on the brink of having my third baby -- it's a lovely feeling .

Good luck.

Join us on our thread love TTC for fabulous 40+ There are quite a few yummy 40+ on our thread who are pregnant - I think the 'oldest' is 44/45 Don't be afraid, just type in your 1st message and press 'post'

I am 41 and 34 weeks pregnant with ds1.

I had dd1 at 37 and dd2 at 38.

I got pregnant in the first month with all 3!

Pregnancies have been fine - although I had some bleeding at 8 weeks with this pregnancy - but everything is O.K. now.

I had have "crap" deliveries though - but don't think this is necessarily age related.

HTH

PS: Not only was third pregnancy the easiest but the third delivery was the best (hour and half, water birth)! (DS 2 arrived on Saturday night, just after the fireworks.)

i am 40 and am 15 weeks preg with no.3, will be 41 at delivery...easy peasy (far too easy!) to concieve last time (was a bit of a shocker) and i feel fine. got a nuchal scan, 1 in 551, so i feel as long as i keep healthy, this pregnancy isn;t any different from last two (was 36 for dd1 and 39 for dd2). i am old and proud! (and knackered). follow your heart- i know loads of older mums. good luck

I met a lovely woman on my postnatal course who had had several miscarriages between 1st baby at 37 and 2nd at 41, but she probably had the best birth story of the class (the rest of us were first timers at various points in our 30s). Her 2nd baby was born Jan last year, and she had no 3 at age 42 this June, again apparently quite an easy labour and delivery

I'm currently 29+2 with dc2 at 39, and such stories always give me hope.

Best wishes ttc.

Thank you to all ladies who have replied to my original message and congratulations to PlayDough on the birth of your DS. It has been encouraging to hear RL positives as opposed to the negative statistics the media seem to throw out all the time. Must confess I am still very undecided and have literally been having some sleepless nights so feeling very old at the moment! I am very concerned about miscarriage - the rate of which does seem high for over 40s - as I have had issues with anxiety and depression in the past and feel that if it did happen to me I would be plunged back into major depression and I don't want to go there again. DH says I am unduly pessimistic - probably true - but I think I would get very stressed which wouldn't do me or the baby any good. In the meantime it's the indecision that's stressing me out....

Just to try and throw some positive vibes towards you! - I had my DS2 at 39, two of my friends were pg with their second at the same time as me (ages 40 and 41) and a woman who I met at an ante natal appt was having her first at 45. We are still all firm friends with boisterous toddlers tearing about the place!

I have two friends ttc no.1 at ages 42 and 43, and another friend gave birth earlier this year to her first dd at age 41.

I can understand you apprehension re miscarriage and as heartbreaking as it is can happen at any age (I had mc at 10wks age 23). When myself (and any of my 40+ friends for that matter) were seen my GP/ MW or Obs we were given no more advice re mc other than the usual 12 week rule. Age really didn't seem to have a bearing on it. The other tests were a worry due to age, but I think they would be a worry regardless.

To be honest, I did worry about how I would cope emotionally with a ds going into teens and a newborn but it has been fantastic - I am probably a lot better at coping now than I did when I was in my 20s. A lot more relaxed!

I wish you all the best, whatever you decide. x

I'm so relieved to have found this thread, all my friends have had their kids and now have teenagers, I'm feeling pretty alone in this. I'm might be taking part in a documentary on older mothers for channel four. I want to tell the world that it's no longer weird, and that I've still got eneergy in me yet to bring up a child! Even some of my friends presumed I would never be able to have children! If anyone else is interested in taking part in this film, this is the contact info by the way; [email protected] 0207 2900535.
Do you suffer from cravings more when you are older? I'm a complete cheese fiend!

SusanAustin

you should be putting your request on the media section.

Dear Mayblossom,

I was told I would have a hell of a chance conceiving due to being more advanced in perimenopause than I should be at the age of 40; two days later I conceived. I worried every day for the first 12 weeks that I would miscarry or there would be a problem i.e. chromosome abnormality to due poor quality eggs. My scan, at the Fetal Medicine Centre in London (one of the best) was amazing. I had 1:1410 odds for Downs etc and baby looked great. Docs were really happy. I know lots of women my age who didn't have odds as good as that, and they all assumed they were fine and dandy.

Which brings me to my second point - almost all of my friends have had pregnancies late thirties onwards; the oldest being 45. They've have beautiful, healthy babies.

Good luck and hope you go for it. It's such a difficult thing to analyse in theory; it's not an intellectual exercise. If you get pregnant, great, and if you don't, then you just don't.

Pagwatch- sorry it wasn't a request. It's not my film, I was just saying that I'm taking part in a film to show my enthusiasm for older mothers. I run a small business, but I want to be a stay at home mum when I give birth.

MayBlossom- I nkow exactly how you feel about bad press, but I think it would be incredibly sad if you were to let society dictate whether or not you should have another child. Let hope live!

Hi MayBlossom, I second the suggestion to join the over 40 TTC thread - they are a great bunch. I am 41 and 20 weeks pg with DC4, having had DSs at 35, 36 and 39.

I did have a emc before this pregnancy to be absolutely honest and it took a wee bit longer than I thought - 6 months - which is actually great for most folk. BUT, the docs I saw were wonderful and one actually said not to worry so much about the scare stories in the press - a lot of the stats are for women who have never had children and are starting late. She reminded me that woman have been having children well into their forties since time began. Yes, the risks are higher but that's statistics for you - they are generalised not specific to any one person and the vast majority of women have "normal" pregnancies. If you feel you can cope, are generally healthy then there's really no reason to let fear stand in your way (and remember fear is what the media plays on to sell their stories). I just didn't want to be saying "what if" in a few years time when it really will be too late.

Oops, just realised how old the orginal thread was . Never mind eh? Hope someone finds it useful anyway.

I was 41 when I had my third. I conceived the first month I tried.

I had an amnio with all of mine to test for Downs. Not sure I'd have terminated with DC2 and 3, but forewarned is fore-armed.

I had a reasonable pregnancy although I was sickier than with the first two, and very tired in the first three months. I used to fall asleep on the sofa, unable to stop myself, and wake up to find DS1 and DS2 who were 1 and 3 at that time had used their toy diggers to dig all the compost out of my pot plants and deposit it on the carpet. With hind sight, I was lucky there.

When the children were small I used to have nightmares about dying before they grew up. That was the worst thing really.Oh and being the wrinkliest mother at the school gate.

You go for it MayBlossom.

hello,, im in a right old pickle! 4 weeks pregnant at 44...did many of you have a CVS done ? any advice ? happy stories...scared stiff xxxx

Loopy good luck! Also scared stiff - 8.5wks. 1st PG. unplanned. 42 (and a bit).