Pregnant with second baby..Am I the only one freaking out??

[mica23]

I am 5 weeks pregnant with our second child and our first one is only 13 months old.She is really good baby and my treasure.I am completely freeking out now, how will I cope, what if new baby is a cryer, how will my DD take it...List goes on but you get the drift.I really want this baby like I wanted the firs one but think that getting pregnant now was a stupid and selfish thing to do..Oh, boy.What have I done!

Bubaluv, sorry to be the peasant but what is MN?Would really love to look at that post.

mica - MN is mumsnet

DeJaVous-June baby too?
Im more worried how it will affect DD1 than me, then there is money too..

Yup mica, I'm due on June the 7th. When are you due?

I'm not too worried about how DD will cope, I think she'll be young enough to accept the new baby pretty easily. Well, that's the impression I get from other threads I've read on here

What worries me most is that I have practically no support and I'm not expecting that to change. DP works really long hours setting up a new business, my family are still in the UK and DPs (fab) family are quite a way away too.

I think it's more the hormones that are making me stressy than the potential reality of two under two

June the 27th and ditto on the help front.Thats why Im affraid thow will it affect her.Its just 1 of me and it will be 2 of them!!Poor tykes..

I used to take DS back to bed with me at 10am every morning of my pregnancy, I was so ill for the first 20 weeks and then just knackered. I used to lie there cuddling this little sleeping baby and worry about how I would manage when I had a demanding newborn. Would the new baby be ignored in favour of DS or would he be ignored while I cared for the baby??

I worried terribly and never really told anyone, obviously my DP had some idea but I felt unable to tell anyone else.

I worried that DS would be too little to understand how his whole world had changed.

But as soon as DD and I came home it was ok, no big revelation it just worked out. He has had his moments but he is too little to be very jealous.

I didn't realise how demanding pregnancy would be with a little one to look after, but I muddled through and after that a newborn is a real pleasure! Give me a newborn over morning sickness any day.

I know now that all the fears I had were normal and also that they are unfounded.

The worst part was DS going to stay at my parents house when I went into hospital to have DD (I had an elective section, on medical grounds I promise!!) I missed him so much and he had a great time and never missed me at all! And the best bit for him was that he got a whole bag of milky bar buttons when he came to visit us in the hospital

All the worries and stress were worth it to see DS stroking DD's head while I held her, mushy I know but it is very cute

oh similar feelings here too!

DD will be 3.2 when this little one arrives and she is a dream....i,e sleeping etc(sleeps until 8am )

I am now worried I will get demon child which wont sleep

I wont be able to lie in bed or go back to sleep until 10am like I did with dd!

That said I am sure she will love a brother or sister.

Mica,
The thread was called "Would you have an amnio if the nuchal risk was 1;27000". It was CoteDAzure who seems to have the info. This is an excert of what she was saying...

"A recent study, led by Keith Eddleman, MD, of
New York's Mt. Sinai School of Medicine, and published in the November issue of Obstetrics & Gynecology, sought to determine if amniocentesis still has the 0.5% miscarriage rate (one in 200 pregnancies) that it did 30 years ago, when the last significant research was done. Dr. Eddleman offered amniocentesis to 35,000 pregnant women; 3,000 women opted to have it performed and the outcome was the same for both those who had the test and those who didn't -- about 1% of the women in both groups miscarried.

In this study the amniocentesis-related miscarriage rate was 0.06%, or one in 1,600 pregnancies -- significantly lower than the 0.5% rate that came out of studies performed in the 1970s. Since then, there have been many innovations in amniocentesis safety, the most significant being the use of ultrasound technology during the procedure - doctors are able to view the baby and therefore determine where to insert the needle."

I am worried about how I am going to keep DS1 away from the baby. Our place is totally open plan, so no where to put a gate. DS1 enjoyed lovely hours on his babygym or rolling about on a sheepskin rug, but having seen DS1 with the dog (belting him with various toys/sticks/shoes...) I'm just not sure what to do this time around!?

Great thread. 24 weeks pg with DC2 and DD will only be 18 months or so when it's born. It was planned but happened v quickly unlike TTC DD which took forever so was a bit of a surprise. When I did the test I looked at DD who was only 10 months and felt really guilty and tearful. Felt the same the other night when i was looking at her in her cot and thinking how she's got to move into anoher room soon on another floor and will no longer be the baby of the family.
Now it's more about how on earth will I cope especially when she's playing up. But everyone seems to say that it's fab and much easier with No 2 and I know that it will be good for her to have a brother/sister.
She has been a good baby sleepwise etc and I'm worried that the next one might be a nightmare. I also can't imagine what another baby will look like at all- I just imagine that it will look exactly the same as DD.

Bubbaluv- I've just bought a playpen so I can seperate them if I need to leave the room for a bit

Good idea Jil. Will have to keep an eye out for the Fort Knox verion of a playpen!
Ah, the bed issue too! How young can you move them into a proper bed? And is it best to do this well in advance of the arrival of #2? Any advice from those who have gone before?

The books say should be a good couple of months before the new baby comes but I'm going to do it after Xmas (baby due in Feb but DD was 4 weeks early so who know's). We only have a cot at the moment and she will only be 18 months so am going to get her a cot bed that can then be a bed when she's a bit older. The woman in John Lewis was telling me she put her daughter in a proper bed at 18 months but I think DD is way too young and I want to know she is 'safe' (unless she climbs out- no sign yet though). The baby will be in with us for a bit in a moses basket so we don't really need to move DD yet but I want to get it all done before it's born. have bought the same frieze as she has now and will move her pictures and curtains to her new room as she loves them. Not actually sure when i'm going to get round to actually doing all this though! I'll be sticking the frieze on with one hand whilst trying to BF No 2!

Ds was nearly 2 when dd came along. He adores her, understands why she cries and has never been anything but happy with her. dd is now 7mo and am pregnant again! Am totall freaking out......

re beds and so on, one thing I'd say if you're having two quite close together in age is not to try and make the older one be too much of a big boy/girl too quickly. DS1 is still in his cotbed with the sides on, quite content, at nearly 3 (we keep offering to take the sides off and he's just now starting to consider it as an option).

He occasionally says to me, when things are a bit much for him 'mummy, I'm a big boy, but I'm still quite small'. Out of the mouths of babes...

As for sleep, I'm certainly not the one to ask - ds1 is a dream sleeper, head down, sleeps till 7 and has done since he was 6 months. DS2, you really don't want to know .

I have DD's play gym in a travel cot in the living room, DS can look in the sides at her but can't get at her! And he thinks that going in the travel cot when I have DD is a big treat

Its worked really well so far...

Thanks Bubbaluv, I have been stressing abouth that b*y test since the moment I got positive result on the test!As over 35 Im automatically in 1 in 300..

I got pregnant with dc2 when dd was only 3 months old
it was very hard at first morning sickness and one so young, and was even harder when ds was first born but now they are 2.5years and 18 months things are so much better and got all the hard stuff out the way in one go. I don't regret it for a minute

I used a travel cot to keep dogs and dd separated. This I got a playpen / room divider. Our open plan living / dining room is now carved up and the odgs go behind the 'Berlin Wall' for mutual protection after the old and arthritic dog went for dd (She had pulled her tail really hard) This is working really well, as the dogs have comfy beds and peace as dd plays freely.

Midnightexpress: Nice to read your earlier post. I am probably going to have an elective this time, due to problems leading to emergency cs last time. I figure with an elective I won't be so wiped out after, but may be kidding myself.
How did you cope with not being able to lift your eldest after the op? This is a great worry to me, as I don't want her to think mummy's cuddles aren't as freely available because of the baby.

It would be good to have "pregnant with second baby£ thread in antenatal.I find that my concerns and expirience (so far) is just not the same as first time around..

am so glad I have found this thread - am just starting ttc DC no2 and DS is 10.5mo; but was worrying terribly about how to cope and how it wouldn't be fair on either DS or the new one who will never have the same amount of attention as DS has had... good to see I'm normal then! I have not been that keen to have a second because of these feelings, but haven't got time to mess around as already fairly ancient. DH really wants 2 DCn so we are giving it a go - will be glad of the support when/if it works!

2helenback (great name) i'm having an elective this time and i'm also really worried about not being able to pick ds up. How have people got around this? Still made their dc feel loved?

2helenback and mamakin, it was a bit of a downer not being able to pick ds1 up for a few weeks after the second cs, yes. We don't have family nearby and lived on the 2nd floor so it was all a bit of a nightmare tbh, but we were lucky enough to be able to afford a part-time nanny for the afternoons (ds1 was at nursery in the mornings) to help us out for a few weeks. But we just did lots and lots of sitting down stuff: cuddles, and stories and so on.

I guess the thing to remember is that in the scheme of things it's really such a short time that you're incapacitated for, and again, probably an advantage of having them close in age is that ds1 probably can't even remember it now . He certainly didn't seem phased by it.

Thanks midnight express. My mum will be here for a couple of weeks, then dh will take paternity leave for a fortnight followed by some holiday. I guess she'll not be short of people to pick her up.
I think I will keep sending her to the childminder for a while until I am up and about properly. People seem to think I am mad to spend money on this, but dd is so happy there I figure the routine will be a good thing along with all the attention she gets theer.

mica23, don't know about June 2009, but there's lots of us who are pregnant with no 2 with a similar age gap to you. My ds was born May 2007, now 17 months, will be between 20-21 months when his brother arrives. I had thought we should start ttc again given my age, but as it took 9 months the first time and I was 38 at conception, I was a bit shocked to get pg second time round at first try. (Should have known, the same thing happened to a friend who told me her news on ds1's first birthday).