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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

What's so wrong with a homebirth?

69 replies

FruitynNutty · 16/08/2008 19:37

Whenever I tell people I'm hoping for a homebirth I always expect lots of support. However, almost every person I've told this to has looked at me in horror and basically think I'm putting the baby and myself at too much risk How can that be? I've heard so many homebirth stories which have all been nothing but positive experiences. Plus if the midwife was to ask for an ambulance it can be at mine and back to the hospital in 6 minutes flat so what's the problem? I just need a bit of support and encouragment FGS Even DP thinks I'm a nutjob

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milfAKAmonkeymonkeymoomoo · 16/08/2008 19:38

I had one for my first and had a similar reaction, was a great experience and DH raves about it to everyone now!

Nbg · 16/08/2008 19:42

My third baby was a HB and everyone I told was absolutely gobsmacked.

I can honestly say it was one of the best experiences of my life.

Original poster

FruitynNutty · 16/08/2008 19:44

If I get enough "best experiences" on this thread I will be showing DP and anyone else who has anything to say about it.
BTW, I did have a C-section last time due to DS being rather large (9lb12) and he was trying to come out with the side of his head first but that doesn't mean that'll happen this time! People are so bloody negative.

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morocco · 16/08/2008 19:45

dd was a hb and it was fabulous. dh doesn't agree but only cos he was much more involved than with ds1 and ds2's births - i liked the fact he was so involved . he is particularly bitter as I gave birth leaning against him and he had his back against the hot radiator. apparently it was very painful

noone was actively supportive in rl really, apart from a few people who'd read up on them already, maybe cos they'd planned on etc. the big myth is that they are less safe. you can either choose to educate with a few well placed stats or ignore with beautific smile

aurorec · 16/08/2008 19:46

Well I've just watched 'The Business of Being Born' and it really made me wish for one too.

There seem to be many misconceptions about homebirths, but as long as you have a good hospital nearby (an issue I have because my nearest hospitals are ranked worst in the COUNTRY for maternity) then I would go for it.

I'd say trust in what you want to do, and if it's what you want to do, go for it!

By the way I know one woman who's had 2 HBs (after a hospital birth for the 1st) and she said there was no comparison- it was for her the most amazing experience possible.

mylovelymonster · 16/08/2008 19:46

I found the same reaction too - as if you were completely mental and irresponsible. If you are close to labour ward and not due at a time when ice-storms might be expected then go for it. You can transfer to labour ward at any time during labour and the MWs are marvellous and will advise transferring if they are the least bit unhappy about how you and LO are progressing. Go for it. You can always change your mind, but you're likely to have a much more personal experience and be more comfortable in your own home.

happyhoney · 16/08/2008 19:46

I have had similar reactions too TBH. This is my third baby and 1sr HB. I have also been shocked at majority of peoples reactions.

morocco · 16/08/2008 19:46

dd was a hbac as well btw

bohemianbint · 16/08/2008 19:50

I had a fabulous homebirth with my first child. None of the midwives gave me any of that "oooh, not for your first" caper, thank god.

Am planning another one, (any day!) and people still say to me that I'm "brave". Considering some of the stories I've heard recently I think anyone going into hospital when there's nothing wrong with them is brave, to be honest!

I'd say if you're well and healthy go for it, and there's loads of brilliant books you can read that will make you really confident that they can be A Good Thing. As you say, 6 mins to a hospital is pretty reasonable, it's about the same for me, I think. People just love to scare the shit out of you and tell you all the worst case scenarios when you're pregnant; it's a bit mean and rubbish really.

ib · 16/08/2008 19:50

You have to understand that a hb means that you intend to be in some measure of control during labour, and most people hate that for some reason.

I had 'friends' telling me with evident delight that people they had been to ante-natal classes with them and had wanted 'natural' births had lost all control and begged for epidurals.

I was lucky in that I'd been present at a lovely hb, so I knew how it could be and was not bothered by their comments.

Many women seem to view the fact that you gave birth without drugs and they didn't as a personal affront.

Don't worry, have your lovely hb and see their comments as what they are: a reflection on them not on you.

Original poster

FruitynNutty · 16/08/2008 19:51

really morocco? I haven't heard any stories on hbac yet, was a bit worried the hospital won't allow it as I haven't even seen the midwife yet (only 9 weeks gone)
I'm so pleased you had your hbac and that it went really well. Do you mind me asking why you had a c-section before?

OP posts:

Dragonbutter · 16/08/2008 19:51

I'm not anti-homebirth.
But it's not for me.
But only since my first experience of childbirth went so horribly wrong.

I was low-risk, but opted for a hospital birth..it's actually an environment i felt at home at as it was my place of work.

Anyway, after an emergency c-section, and a baby who was born not breathing and in need of resuscitation and then taken off to intensive care when he began to show that he was in respiratory distress. I know, that if i hadn't been in hospital for the birth, that he possibly wouldn't have made it.

Saying that, i'm sure even if i'd tried for a home birth that they would have abandoned it as soon as they saw baby was in distress and the outcome would have been the same.

But, i think that is why people might be against. Maybe those are people who couldn't imagine childbirth without all the help they got in hospital.

sarah293 · 16/08/2008 19:52

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ib · 16/08/2008 19:53

Was definitely the best experience of my life, and dh says of his!

Original poster

FruitynNutty · 16/08/2008 19:53

well I'm hoping for some sort of pain relief ib, obviously not an epidural (which I think contributed to my c-section last time) but something to take the edge off

OP posts:

Nbg · 16/08/2008 19:54

It was also my quickest and most natural birth.
Waters went on their own, didnt need any intervention, no drugs, no tears and I was laid in my own bed half an hour after with a bowl of hot chicken casserole that dh started to cook 2 hours previous

So fruitynNuttys dp, if your reading this.
HOMEBIRTHS ROCK!

sarah293 · 16/08/2008 19:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ib · 16/08/2008 19:55

Sure, you should have whatever you want! I'm in France so was epidural or nothing, which was fine.

nervousal · 16/08/2008 19:55

I'm not anti home birth either - its a decision you need to make for yourself. But I wouldn't want to take the risk of something going wrong and not having medical help immediately on hand.

Original poster

FruitynNutty · 16/08/2008 19:57

An epidural at home ib? or do you mean at the hospital?

OP posts:

sarah293 · 16/08/2008 19:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

FruitynNutty · 16/08/2008 20:05

Oh riven I'm so sorry. This is one thing that does worry me and especially DP
I just felt a bit out of control when I had DS. I think I'd be more likely to go for an epidural if in hospital (and I really don't want to this time) At home I wouldn't have this option. It's just that I've now only heard of one bad experience of homebirth. I've heard far more hospital birth bad experiances. Especially contracting infections etc..

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morocco · 16/08/2008 20:06

there's quite a few hbac stories on here I think.
ds1 was em c section at 37 weeks after I was induced for pre eclampsia. I got to about 3 cms but when they started the syto?? drug his heart rate started dipping

I then had ds2 as a hosp birth but stayed at home for almost all of it. he was born 90 minutes after we got to hospital. labour was 5 hours start to finish and all nice and easy. I had him abroad where complications would have been a bit of a disaster so I personally think his was the most risky. hbac in uk much safer

you are entitled to a hb regardless of previous labour etc but I would recommend making it an informed choice. there are risks with both hb and hospital births and it's all about weighing up your personal attitude to those risks.

AtheneNoctua · 16/08/2008 20:08

Well, since you asked, I think you're nuts too. Way too much risk for both mum and baby here, I don't need to point you to examples. I'm sure youv'e done your homework and made a reason deciosn. For whatever reason, you are prepared to take on the risk of home birth in exchange for the benefits. And I think it's your right to make this choice. It wouldn't be mine, but then you would probably not agree with my choices. It is there of their business. Just as it's not really any of mine (I am only typing this because you asked).

You've made your choice. Just ignore the people whose opinions don't matter.

An regarding the risk, six minutes away is not that bad as far as hospital transfer times go. But, I think I'd have my own car and driver on standby rather than wait for an ambulance.

ib · 16/08/2008 20:10

No, not at home. Nothing available at home, and only epidural at the hospital.

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