Bad 12 week screening results just need to talk it through with somone whose been there......

[feelingbadtoday]

I'm 38 wen't for my 12 week screening test today (nuchal fold+bloods) and was given a 1:2 results - I've been put down for CVS hopefully in the next week. I'm blessed that I have DS but this came as a such a shock - I fully expected my results to show a higher risk factor than when I had my son three years ago - I was even mentally prepared (I think!!) for a risk factor that might havve put me in the bracket for being offered CVS but not a 1:2. I just feel in shock at the moment - this preganancy has already been difficult in that I have mentally had probelms getting my head round it (It was planned but when I found out I was pregagnt it bought back lots of bad memories of a difficult birth with DS and a diffult few post natal months) - I can't stop crying and just feel a bit of a mess...Has anyone been there how do you get a grip/get it in perspective - I'm sorry if this isn't very coherent and well written its not been the best of days....thanks to anyone who responds.

so sorry to hear your news feelingbadtoday, x

FBT - I am so, so sorry.

Please try and look after yourself, and each other, and post if you want to..other posters have been through this, and taken the same hard route. there will be plenty of heartfelt support for you on MN.

FBT, I too made the same choice 21 weeks into my pregnancy. Each person has to make their own decision based on the circumstances and what they know they can cope with. Regardless of anyone else you have made the right decision for you. I wont dwell too much on what you may / may not be feeling but remember you have every right to grieve for your child - you did not choose to be in this position. If you have not already done so maybe try ARC. Even if you just want to read others experiences and talk on-line you can. Come back here though if you ever want to talk about it.

Can't say how sorry I am that you are losing your precious baby in this way.

Please stop defending your decision, you don't need to, you have thought long and hard and have suffered and are still suffering plenty of heartache.

My prayer is that you and your dh grow closer and are able to support each other through this.

fbt - sending you my sympathy at this heartbreaking time. Look after yourself, and look upon yourself as you would a friend who had made the same decision. You wouldn

I was going to say you wouldn't judge and you would accept they had made the choice that was right for them and their family xx

Oh FBT,sending hugs. xxxx Look after yourself xx

Thank you for your messages - we said good bye to our baby yesterday. Yesterday was probably the hardest day of my life - but strangely I feel more at peace today - my emotions feel that they have changed from the deep emotional pain that I felt when going through the whole testing/results process to now a deep feeling of sadness. Hopefully DH/DS and I are going away for a few days next week and we hope that will help us to take the next steps forward. Following some of your suggestions we have made contact with ARC and have found them helpful and I'm sure we will be in touch with them again over the comming weeks/ months. I think we both feel very strongly that though our lives will eventually move on we don't want our 2nd child to be forgot and I had a strong feeling last night that I was the mother of two even though outwardly there is only one child in our family. Once again many thanks for your support. I'm sure I will be posting again but probably under another topic.

Hi,

Like lots of others I've been following your post. Thinking of you and your family at this sad time.

xxx

FBT, I've started so many responses, but don't know what to say. I don't know what you're going through, and can only imagine. From a personal stance, I think you've done the right thing. It's a personal decision, but I've had a sister with severe disabilities, and while I am glad that she lived her short life, it was frought with constant medical emergencies, an emotional rollercoaster etc.

It sounds to me as if you have the support you need. I am so pleased about this.

But please don't get too introspective about it all. This baby had chromosomnal problems, and a decision was made in the best interests of all.

You are the mother of two - one survived and the other didn't. The circumstances do not matter.

there are so many people who will want to wish you and your family all the best.

You will get through this....