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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Invited to wedding 3 days after EDD - should I accept?

34 replies

JessJess3908 · 16/07/2008 13:05

My friend has very kindly invited me to his wedding, which is 3 days after my due date.

I'm invited to whole day (service, dinner, reception), DP is just invited to reception.

If I am overdue (first - so likely?) Will I feel like going to the whole day then? Or will I just want to mooch around and whinge on mn?

And, given what a pain weddings are to organise, is it fair of me to accept the whole day when there's a good chance I'll miss it?

Your opninions would be appreciated as pregnancy has made me incapable of making any decisions of my own...

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TillyScoutsmum · 16/07/2008 13:07

How far away is it ? I think I'd be inclined to decline tbh. Maybe if its near enough - you could go to the ceremony and then to the evening with DP - but can't imagine you want to be there all day on your own

cmotdibbler · 16/07/2008 13:09

I'd decline. If overdue you just want to mooch and winge, and as you can't sit still for 5 minutes will figet through everything. DP will fret about you. You'll feel the size of a whale, and will be either wearing a muumuu or stretched mat clothes.

Baby being early won't help either, for many of the same reasons plus biological leakage.

StealthPolarBear · 16/07/2008 13:10

personally i would say no unless you really want to go
dh's cousin was married 14 days after my edd, ended up being 10 days after ds born. we went to ceremony (about an hour away) then came back. wouldn't have gone if it hadnt been family

LoveMyGirls · 16/07/2008 13:10

I'd skip dinner because it's not fair for them to pay for dinner if in the end you don't feel up to going and if they have you will feel too guilty to not go and then wont enjoy it etc, better to go to the ceremony come home for a nap and dinner then go to evening do with dp imo.

hanaflowerisnothana · 16/07/2008 13:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

posieflump · 16/07/2008 13:12

I'd say no
You won't feel like donning a tent and going out
You'll be worried your waters might break
You might have just had a painful sweep
You will want to lounge on the sofa and be looked after

quickerthistimeplease · 16/07/2008 14:30

I'd say no as well

And most of my friends 1st babies were early so don't assume it will be late. (Mine was 4 weeks early...)

PetitFilou1 · 16/07/2008 14:42

I'd say no. There's a lot of standing about at weddings, food at funny times and sometimes none when you really need some. You will just end up exhausted - not what you need! And you will be worrying about going into labour...and without your dp with you (he will probably be worrying too)

AnnieAreYouOkAreYouOkAnnie · 16/07/2008 14:43

it may be the induction you need?!

a bumpy car ride there and back,
dancing all evening

A friend of mine was due the day before another friend's wedding, she went anyway. A hour's journey on bumpy roads, there and back (thankfully she didn't drive herself, though she wanted to). Her waters broke next morning, she gave birth later that day.

My brother's wedding was two days after my EDD. I wanted to go, and definitely would have, if it hadn't been in Ireland. I gave birth tfree days after that.

But if your baby comes before the wedding, you will not want to go.

Really depends on how good a friend he is, and how much you want to be there. And what a story if you were to go into labour during the ceremony/speeches...

CharlotteYork · 16/07/2008 15:34

If not far away I would accecpt but ensure you explain that you may not make it.

If you decline you are bound to go weeks over!

AnnieAreYouOkAreYouOkAnnie · 16/07/2008 15:37

If you do go, make sure you bring your hospital and labour bags...

Pavlovthecat · 16/07/2008 15:40

I would say not to cater for you, however if you are able to come along for the toast you will? Is that possible, or is it much much more formal than that, where you are invited to all or nothing?

I was invited to wedding 3 days before DD was due, and advised that I would be unlikely to come, so I advised as above, they were fine with this as they wanted me there, but it meant they did not finance me not showing! I could not go at all as it happened.

dinkystinky · 16/07/2008 15:51

I was invited to a wedding 2 weeks after DS was due - ended up not going due to birth complications etc. It was a family friend's indian wedding so definitely wasnt missed among the 500+ guests but we felt really guilty about messing them around. Ultimately up to you and how you think you'll feel nearer the time, but personally I'd say no.

tinkhasagorgeousbean · 16/07/2008 15:51

i would definetly agree and say know as you will be so big and uncomfortable.

missblythe · 16/07/2008 15:53

If it's nearby, just go to ceremony then go home. Will be nice to see them get married, but then you'll want to get back home and in your comfort zone

roquefort · 16/07/2008 15:56

If local I would go to at least some of it - maybe the ceremony and reception so that financing the meal isn't an issue as others have said. That would also allow you to rest and cut out a lot of the hanging around.

slinkiemalinki · 16/07/2008 17:17

I'd discuss it and see how flexible they are - if you would like to go that is - someone declined our wedding as it was on her due date. We let them know they were welcome for ceremony and reception if she felt up to it and they did come - I did invite them at the time to stay for the meal (though this was an Indian wedding with 300 guests and easy to be flexible) but despite the fact curry was on offer they declined and went off home!

themildmanneredjanitor · 16/07/2008 17:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

serenity · 16/07/2008 17:32

I went to one when I was overdue with DS2 - I was actually due the day before. We only went to the reception though and in their case they were doing a buffet dinner, so one person not turning up wouldn't have made a huge difference. I made sure we knew where the nearest hospital was and had my hospital bag and notes in the boot of the car.

I actually had a lovely time, it was far better going out and having a laugh and a bit of dance than sitting at home feeling crap and waiting to go into labour. As it happens I had to wait another week, and even then the stubborn little monster had to be induced

In your case I'd bow out of the bits without DP (just in case!) and see how you feel about the reception on the day - if it's not too far then you can go for as long as you feel up to it, even if it's just to pop in and say congratualations and have one drink.

Original poster

JessJess3908 · 17/07/2008 11:37

Thank you for your stories...

It is local... I think I might accept the evening and not the dinner. Sooo annoying as I'd really love to go.

DP said he doesn't want me to go to any of the bits w/o him. I didn't put this in the OP as I thought it made him sound a bit cave man like

Oh yeah - and if at all possible must be looking fab as my ex will be there...

OP posts:

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 17/07/2008 14:30

My SIL gets married three days before EDD and we've said we'll be there unless I'm literally going into labour (well, DH will) - they're fine with that because they really want us there though we did give them the option to retract dinner invitation when we got EDD through....our do is quite far though so I've checked out the local hospital and will take notes and bag with me if still holding the baby in

fair enough of your DP to want to be with you, very protective, good man!

bikerunski · 18/07/2008 21:07

I am not going to my brother's wedding 15 days before EDD, primarily as it is 400 miles/8 hours drive away and we have a family history of first babies being 2 to 8 weeks early. At 31 weeks, I am needing thd loo every hour now and getting restless if I sit down for to long, then knackered and fall asleep if I do very much. My brother doesn't really get it, but his wife to be (mum of one) is very understanding, and keeps sending me "new mummy" tips.

iliketosleep · 18/07/2008 21:20

Similar thing here, dps nephew is having his daughter christened on my EDD, even though she may come 3-4 days early (i hope) I have still declined.....

babytime · 19/07/2008 15:54

Hello

If its your first then a big NO - I was an emotional wreck at day three, happy feeling on top of the world then suddenly feeling overwhelmed.

You would feel so exposed, a new mummy learning the ropes with everyone watching - not that they would be but you may just feel like that.

But because its local you may still be on the honeymoon phase and feel able to take anything on after your giving birthe experience

You run on adrenalin for the first few days so you maybe able to handle a few hours out.

Can you not say that you may or may not depending on how you feel? You could skip the meal and just got after so the dont have to worry about the food side

You may also be so wrapped up in your new little creation that nothing outside your front door matters

itati · 19/07/2008 15:55

Why is your DP not invited to the whole thing and how far away is it from where you live?

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