Hi,
This may be a bit of a long story, I have been TTC for many years 9 in total, I've had 9 miscarriages, 2 ectopics and recently a missed miscarriage. I fell pregnant straight away without a period in-between I'm currently 6 weeks, I have wanted another child for so long and now I'm actually pregnant I don't know if it's truly what I want. I know that sounds crazy and I don't know if it's just hormones or if it's because it's something I wanted so long and never thought it would happen, the more I think of it I have a sense of grief for my old life. My child is 13 and is my best friend we have a good life and I have my freedom back I've started socialising again and I am at a place where I am genuinely happy. Having a baby I would be going back to not being able to just get up and go on my days off, having to sort not just me but a baby before leaving also. I can't help but think how can I love another child as much as my first and how will my other child react to having a sibling after them being our world for 13 years, Then at times I imagine another baby in the house and get this sense of guilt for not being overly happy, after all this is what I've wanted for so long why am I not over the moon. I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know exactly what I'm looking for here I just wanted to voice my feelings and see if anyone is or has been in this situation.