Inducing lactation - non birthing mums

[HollyJane92]

Hi,

I’m looking for some information on inducing lactation when you’re not pregnant.
I know mums who have adopted or are lesbian have done this.

I’ve had some support from a lactation midwife and my doctor has prescribed Domperidone 10mg tablets and Microgynon 30 ED tablets, however I’m not sure this is the right combo.

Anyone else had success with inducing lactation with medication?

I’m also in the process of buying a hospital grade pump which I’ll start right away.

Thank you :)

Why do you want to breast feed a baby that you haven't birthed? Sounds rather selfish and weird to me. Why not let the mother breastfeed and you help out in other ways?

Like you @Thinkpink21 I find this a very strange ambition.
@HollyJane92 what else can you share with us about your situation? Is this an NHS GP or a resource from elsewhere?

I’ve had some support from a lactation midwife and my doctor has prescribed Domperidone 10mg tablets and Microgynon 30 ED tablets, however I’m not sure this is the right combo.

Well your GP is certainly more likely to know the right "combo" than some random person on Mumsnet.

Is this safe for the baby?

Are you a woman? That is to say a biological woman?

I’m also the mum, we’re a same sex couple. So two mums :)

Our NHS midwife who specialises in breastfeeding has given some support also (albeit it’s limited given NHS resources).

also to add, yes I was born female. I will be reaching out to the GP to ask for confirmation that this is the right combo, but getting appointments is a little tricky. So for the time being, was seeking some info from people who may have had similar experiences.

It does seem a strange thing to do though. Birth mum could maybe express milk so you can bottle feed rather than chemically induce lactation.

The issue with trying to share the breastfeeding load is that you as the mother will not produce a decent milk supply if you’re not the one feeding every time. Most babies cluster feed for several weeks until milk production is established, this will not happen.
Be honest, your partner wants to ‘breastfeed’ the baby for purely selfish reasons. It’s certainly not for the benefit of the baby in any way shape or form. What will help the baby, however, is to have a mother who is supported by her partner to maximise her milk supply.

i think the OP is the partner of the mum.

Why selfish? Breastfeeding is great for bonding. I can see why a couple would want to share the experience.

(None of my babies would take a bottle. It’s not always straightforward)

Please don’t get hung up on trying to breastfeed it can be so difficult even when you have given birth and produced lIts of milk. There are all sorts of ways to supplement breastfeeding via a tube system but with all the sterilising it’s a huge commitment.

I didn’t bond more strongly with the babies I breastfed over bottle feeding.

Its easy to hyper focus on a very small part of baby care to the determent of your MH and being bloody stressed and knackered rather than enjoying parenthood.

@HollyJane92 you do know that the Domperidone will come out in your milk and can cause heart arythema in babies

Why not just do what is right for the baby which is being fed exclusively by the birth mum. If you are trying to feed too then neither of you will have an established good supply. Stop making it about you.

i wouldnt be messing around with my hormones. they are important. you mess about and you risk cancer and allsorts. that’s why they are so careful with hrt etc. you dont want cancer. or permanent periods or some other hormonal shit. You want to be a healthy happy parent to your child.

i get that you want to feed the baby but just like male partners cannot, sometimes the non birthing parent just needs to accept they cannot feed unless from a bottle or some contraption they wear with a teat. Theres nothing wrong with bottle feeding or whatever.

If your partner wants to breastfeed then you need to be careful that in trying to help out you don’t end up completely sabotaging their breastfeeding. Babies need to feed lots during the first few weeks and that builds up the milk supply. If you take the baby for some of the feeds the your partner won’t be able to produce enough milk for the baby’s needs as they grow whilst you will never be able to produce large quantities of milk through induced lactation.
You need to get proper advice from a lactation consultant who can help you both.

Because the 'milk' such as it isn't, will be a mess of drug induced yuck and not suitable for a baby.

Don’t give a child unnecessary drugs because that is what will be happening here.

I can understand why you might initially want to do this, but I agree it's not a good idea. The best thing you can do to support the birthing mum and your baby is to help her have a successful breastfeeding journey by looking after them both, doing nappies/settling etc to help her get some rest, bringing drinks/snacks, and bottle feeding once bf is established if that's something you both want to do either with some formula to mix feed or with expressed milk if the bf mum wants to pump.