Terrified and scared

[Rosepoetry]

Hi all so I’ve just found out I’m pregnant. I’m terrified and genuinely in panic mode.

for context I am 29 years old me and my partner have been together for almost 8 years and we’re married, have 2 good incomes, a house - I guess what I’m trying to say is we’re completely stable and “ready” for a baby.

we decided to officially start trying next year (Jan 2027)we’ve spoken about kids for years now and we don’t see our selves without them. we stupidly had unprotected sex once not planning on getting pregnant and bam… 5 weeks later the test is positive.

i am in complete shock and disbelief I feel sick at the thought of being a mum, I feel resentment to the situation and grief at the loss of my old life, I’ve done nothing but ball my eyes out for the few days and then ball my eyes out even more at the guilt of feeling the way I do (like I don’t have the right to as I’m fully prepped in life to be able to have a child)

i feel like I’m living on another planet and this is a sick dream yet I all I see on social media and around me is people being overjoyed at finding out their pregnant which makes me feel worse.

Is this normal, I’ve come here to feel less alone and hoping people can relate

I have three planned children and absolutely panicked with each positive pregnancy test I got. I spoke to other women and many told me they felt the same. It passed fairly quickly but I remember it starting again when I was around 8 months pregnant. Bringing a new life into the world is a huge thing and its normal to have huge feelings about it. You probably feel a bit out of control as it wasn't planned quite yet but give yourself a few weeks to get your head around it. It will be ok!

It’s one thing thinking you’re ready and want a child, but it’s totally different when it actually happens and you get that positive test! or it was for me.

I had a deep sense of panic and mourning both times in early pregnancy and felt a real loss for my life as it was. I felt absolutely awful because my partner was so over the moon and couldn’t stop grinning whilst I felt I had an alien growing inside of me, but it passes and you slowly come to terms with it. Don’t forget that hormones will be playing somewhat of a part in this too.

This has just happened a few months earlier than expected for you, and now you just need some time and to be gentle with yourself and know that no, it’s not unusual to feel like this.

Yes, I felt this too, with both my pregnancies. I was almost suicidal - ‘why have i done this’, and just a feeling of total dread and doom.

It was the pregnancy hormones. Remember your ‘right mind’ made the decision to get pregnant, and you’re in your ‘pregnancy mind’ now. You’re in a good place to have a baby and I promise it will all be fine.

I’m SO glad I didn’t listen to my pregnant brain now (or at least, I rode it out) as I have 2 gorgeous kids that are my universe.

Antenatal depression is a real thing though.

Hi, I just wondered if anyone has experience with spotting during pregnancy? I am 10 weeks ive had no blood for 4 weeks then last night I had some again and I am panicking so much. Unfortunately where I live there is no help on weekends no one I can speak to I just wanted some context if I need to panic or not. I have hardly any pain just usual cramps experienced a miscarriage before so definitely know what pain to look for. Thank you x

Hi Millbird, I would start a thread in ‘pregnancy’ which will be more helpful than posting here. X