Pregnant at 16

[Charliecatlover]

I was hoping for some advice. My daughter has just told me she is pregnant and seriously considering keeping it. I’m so worried. I understand it’s her decision. But she is still a child herself. Has anyone gone through the same situation

My son and his girlfriend had my grandson when they were 15. He’s 5 now and they have their own place, both drive and both work full time. If she is determined then she will be fine, only you know how mature she is. I’m a single mum so was unable to give them barely any financial support and I don’t babysit much as I have my own young child but they are thriving and my grandson is an absolute joy!

How far along?

Depends how mature she is. what if the baby is disabled? I had my first at nineteen and he is disabled so she needs to have a mature head firmly screwed on.

If she wants it then not having it would be very difficult for her. You really cant put any pressure on her to terminate.

can you support her? Who is the father?

Presumably her family provided huge amount of practical and financial support then

I think you need to lay out the reality to her, don’t pussyfoot around it. If she’s having a baby, she needs to know that she will be expected to fully care for it, provide a home for it, be able to financially provide for it too. Too many kids these days just pop babies out, live at home and live off the state instead of actually wanting to provide properly for them.

If my teenager was planning to be a parent we would be sitting down and going over the financial and practical realities. If she wants to suddenly become an adult, she needs to face all of it.

I was pregnant at 16, beginning was 15. My mum actually kicked me out as well. Everything turned out fine but from what I’ve seen of others it really depends on how mature she is.

I mean you don’t know that. I had a kid at 16 and my parents disowned me, weve turned out fine.

Whether she handle it is another thing. 16 year olds vary wildly in maturity

Ask her where she is going to live and how is she going to afford this baby? That may just make her understand that she is in no position to have this baby.

Thank you. She is mature and has had a part time job since 13 with infant school children. Father is the same age but no longer attends college but is very supportive. She would have to change her college course sadly. We’ve set out the realities of the situation very clearly. We would never kick her out, she’s my daughter first and foremost. She is extremely tiny. Thank you everyone for sharing.

This was two 15 year olds who 5 years later own a home and have full time jobs.

A reasonable assumption they received extensive family practical and financial assistance

Op how far along is she? It is rather relevant

Only missed one period.

The poster didn’t say they own a home, they said they had their own place, as in don’t live at home with their parents. 2 motivated young adults could absolutely pull that off without huge financial help

Tiny as slender, or as in height wise and you are a tiny family, or tiny as in still growing ? When did she start her periods ? If she wants to keep the baby then I expect you will have advice from the obstetric team on how safe it would be for her to deliver naturally, or whether she is still growing and might need a c-section. If she is still growing then a pregnancy could have growth implications for her.
It’s tough, 16 is young, but I know a few women who had a baby at 17, several with no parental support at all. All were ok, so it can work out, especially with a supportive family for the first couple of years. Would she be 17 by the time the baby is due ?
She could have some counselling now to help her decide on the best way forward for her. Obviously it will be hard on you but you can talk through what support you feel able to give if she does want the baby. Then plan how things will be structured. Best of luck whatever she decides.

At 15?

They are 20??

So father dropped out of college? Does he work?

Yes now.

My sole point which I can’t believe people are arguing about is that two 15 year old parents would have had fairly extensive practical and financial support if 5 years later they have their own place, both able to drive and both in full time jobs. I mean I’m hardly breaking new ground with that assumption

What is your point? At 20 they have full time jobs and have left home, there’s no reason to think they had huge financial help to get jobs.

You are assuming they own a house, which nobody has said.

Ok

I would gently explain to her that she will need to be responsible every day for the foreseeable if she decides to have the baby. She won't be able to go travel the world or go out with her friends whenever she feels like it. Everything she wants to do will be planned around her child. Sometimes teens can fail to grasp the stark reality of life. If she goes ahead with the pregnancy she will be in it for the long run.